The Truth About Lenny Kravitz And Lisa Bonet's Relationship
Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet were arguably the "it" couple in the late 1980s and early 1990s. At the time that they met in 1985, Bonet was a huge star in Tinseltown after starring in "The Cosby Show," and Kravitz was an aspiring musician who hadn't yet reached the stardom he is known for today.
Throughout their short, whirlwind relationship, Kravitz and Bonet collaborated on music together, had a daughter, actor Zoë Kravitz, and carved out by all means a successful life for themselves. By 1991, the lovebirds went their separate ways, but that was not the end of their relationship.
Despite separating just three years after being married, the two have become notorious for their amicable split and strong friendship over the years. From writing music to co-parenting their child and even blending their families together, here's the truth about the pair's relationship and how they went from lovers to friends.
Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet met at a concert
It only seems right that one of the coolest and arguably greatest rock and roll musicians of all time met his future wife at a concert. Lenny Kravitz met "The Cosby Show" actor Lisa Bonet following a New Edition performance in the mid-1980s. At the time the two crossed paths, the singer was actually engaged to be married, but their electric connection was too strong to push aside.
Despite their instant bond, Kravitz did admit in his memoir, "Let Love Rule," that his first words to Bonet were not exactly charming. According to the musician, he told Bonet, "I like your hair." Reflecting on his embarrassment, he wrote (via Page Six), "It was a lame line, a stupid line, one of the worst lines in the history of bad lines."
Kravitz's first-time butterflies and nerves didn't phase the actor, however, and the two became great friends right away. Though his relationship with Bonet was not romantic from the start, Kravitz explained in "Let Love Rule" that he was engaged to someone else at the time. His then-fiancee sensed something more between the friends, so she and Kravitz dissolved their relationship, per Page Six. Ultimately, Kravitz doesn't appear to have regrets about how his relationship with Bonet evolved, saying in his memoir (via E! News), "Well, I guess, you know, we went where we went, so I guess it was okay."
They were friends before starting a relationship
For many couples, romantic relationships start with, well, romance. But for Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet, their relationship had a foundation in friendship, which made their bond even stronger. Not long after the pair connected at the New Edition concert, they moved in together and were platonic roommates first, according to Rolling Stone.
From day one, Kravitz has described their bond as "magical" and credits their deep personal connection as one of his greatest life experiences. In 1990, the "Are You Gonna Go My Way" rock star told Spin about the unusual trajectory of their relationship and why it was special. "Usually, when you meet somebody you like right from the beginning, there's that whole infatuation thing and the dating thing and 'do-I-look-good?' thing. With Lisa there was none of that," he explained. Instead of the usual courting process, Kravitz and Bonet spent time hanging out together as pals.
On the spark that led to them starting a relationship (and its influence on his music), Kravitz shared on CBS's "Sunday Morning," "We had the same spirit. It was magical. And through that experience, I finally found my sound without any effort. It just came."
She was more famous than him at one point
Today, Lenny Kravitz may be known as one of the most prolific, influential rock musicians of all time, but back when he started dating Lisa Bonet in the mid-1980s, he was an up-and-coming musician and she was a famous actor. Bonet landed her most notable role as Denise Huxtable on "The Cosby Show" when she was just 16 years old in 1984, according to Net-A-Porter. To put into context just how big and beloved "The Cosby Show" was in the 1980s, the show had a Nielsen rating (which measures the percentage of household watchers in a specific age range) of 34.3, meaning approximately one third of TV-watching Americans were tuning into the show when episodes aired, as reported by the Chicago Tribune.
Being on one of the most popular shows of the 1980s meant that Bonet was one of Hollywood's most famous rising stars. When the actor started dating Kravitz, her celebrity status often affected the public's perception of her lesser-known counterpart, so much so that he was frequently referred to as "Mr. Bonet." In a 1989 interview with the Los Angeles Times, Kravitz shared his dismay about being assigned the name, saying, "Hell no, I don't like that kind of thing. I know why it happens. She's famous and I'm not — yet."
Thankfully, as time went on, the musician was able to carve out a very successful path for himself and separate himself from the shadow of Bonet's fame.
The couple married and had a baby shortly after
Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet did not have an elaborate plan to get married, and the decision to tie the knot came about spontaneously one day as the two were in bed. As Kravitz shared in his memoir (via Showbiz Cheat Sheet), the "Fly Away" singer told Bonet that he wanted to marry her, and she agreed that they should do it right away, on that day, as a matter of fact. The two eloped and married at the Chapel of Love in Las Vegas on November 16, 1987.
Not long after they were married, Bonet was pregnant. At the time, there was an intense spotlight on the newlywed couple, as she was still acting on "The Cosby Show" and Kravitz was starting his music career. In a 2018 interview with Net-A-Porter, Bonet revealed that when she was pregnant, "people were falling off roofs trying to get pictures." The pair's daughter, Zoë Kravitz, was born on December 1, 1988, at their home in Los Angeles.
Lisa Bonet inspired Lenny Kravitz to make music
Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet were more than just friends and lovers, but they were also each other's creative muses. While they were married, the "High Fidelity" actor helped to inspire Kravitz to write music in a way that was completely different from what he was used to.
Prior to their union, the musician revealed to NPR, his creative process was strenuous and labored, which made it difficult to find exactly what he wanted to sing about and the message he wanted to convey. After meeting and marrying Bonet, however, it completely changed, and through her, he was able to tap into his soul to discover the intended meaning and purpose behind his music. He told the publication, "But all of a sudden, [the songs] were being downloaded. It was beyond my thought process. It was just being presented, like, here you go. Here it is. This is it."
From there, the artist wrote, performed, and produced his 1989 debut album, "Let Love Rule," with Bonet by his side. Kravitz and his then-wife wrote two songs together on the album, "Rosemary" and "Fear." Bonet was also in the "Let Love Rule" music video. Talking about their collaboration, the "Low" singer told Men's Health in 2020, "It was the first time I'd opened up like that, and had known love like that, and freedom."
Their whirlwind marriage was short-lived
With strong roots in friendship, a beautiful daughter, and a stable family life, Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet appeared to be a perfect couple on the outside, but below the surface, their marriage was falling apart. By 1991, the two called it quits and finalized their divorce two years later in 1993. According to an interview with Flatt, the "Let Love Rule" musician attributed their breakup to being young and experiencing significant losses in his personal life. "I had to take a break. I went through a lot of emotional things, a lot of deaths in my family," he revealed to the outlet (via Glamour UK).
The split affected both Kravitz and Bonet profoundly. In a 1995 interview with Rolling Stone, he revealed that the period of his life was painful, and he was essentially a "zombie" consumed by his own sadness and grief. "For, like, six months, I only slept for two hours a day, from 4 a.m. to 6 a.m.," he shared with the publication.
The split was equally painful for Bonet, who discussed its impact with Net-A-Porter in 2018. As they were dealing with the fallout of their former romantic relationship, the "Angel Heart" actor experienced a spiritual transformation and tried her best to spare her young daughter any bitterness that could have come from the breakup. "I didn't want to pass on those heirlooms, and this fresh wound of a divorce [to Zoë]," she explained.
Lenny Kravitz dedicated a whole album to Lisa Bonet
Around the time Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet were breaking up, the singer channeled his heartbreak and feelings around their failed relationship into the only medium that felt right: his music. In 1991, he released his second album, "Mama Said," which he dedicated to Bonet (per The Washington Post). The record included several songs touching on the ups and downs of their whirlwind love.
One of the musician's most popular songs from the album is the track "It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over," which he exclusively dedicated to his soon-to-be ex-wife at the time. In fact, Kravitz wrote the song in hopes that the two could settle their differences and rekindle their bond. The singer told Jet in 1991, "As long as we're living and breathing, you never know what the next move is going to be." He elaborated to the publication that while a situation, relationship, or outcome may seem permanently over, time can change things and hope will always be there.
Discussing the inspiration behind the song, Kravitz told Rolling Stone in 2018, "It was my belief that it ain't over 'til it's over. There's always a chance we can pull this together and make this happen. It didn't go that way, but that was the song." While the rock star and Bonet never reconciled romantically, the pair did remain friends afterward, not just for themselves, but primarily for the sake of their young daughter.
Their daughter was their main priority
One thing Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet refused to do was let the emotional baggage of their separation bleed into the life of their daughter, Zoë Kravitz. At the time the pair separated, Kravitz was two years old, and both wanted to ensure that she had two supportive, loving parents in her life, despite their differences.
The "Love Revolution" singer opened up to "Oprah's Master Class" in 2013 about the significance of becoming a parent with Bonet, saying, "We were very young, and it was wonderful, and we had Zoë, which I see now [is] what it was all about. It was really all about bringing this beautiful child to the planet." As their daughter grew up, the pair worked to try and give her a normal upbringing. After Kravitz and Bonet divorced, she lived with "The Cosby Show" actor in Topanga Canyon, a secluded, mountainous part of Los Angeles, until she was 11, according to Complex.
At that age, she traveled to Miami and lived with Lenny Kravitz, who, through most of her childhood, was busy touring and making music. In a 2018 interview with Rolling Stone, Zoë Kravitz revealed what it was like being around her rock star dad. "That was a massive change. Going from this really quiet house in Topanga, just me and my mom, to my dad's life, which was very busy — lots of people, lots of assistants." Regardless of where life took either parent, both made sure that their daughter remained at the center.
The two remained close over the years
Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet made sure to keep their relationship on good terms for the sake of their daughter, but somewhere down the line, the pair ended up becoming best friends all over again. Speaking on "Oprah's Master Class," Kravitz explained their special relationship, saying, "Zoë's mom and I now are best friends. It's interesting because that's how the relationship started, but it makes you feel really good when you can do that."
In the mid-2000s, Bonet met "Aquaman" actor Jason Momoa, and the two married in 2017. With Momoa, the actor has two children, who are equally loved in the blended family that includes Zoë Kravitz and the "Again" singer. Discussing the dynamic of their family, including all of her children, her husband, and Kravitz, Bonet told Net-A-Porter in 2018, "It's fantastic. It's full-on family love."
The Kravitz-Bonet blended family is rooted in a deep love and respect for each person, and the musician hasn't let the awkwardness of engaging with Momoa discourage him from maintaining a relationship with Bonet. In fact, healthy communication helped the exes' connection blossom. Kravitz told The Times in 2019, " But [Lisa and I] put the work in and we took the time so that we could become best friends again. Our families are blended. I love her husband [Jason Momoa] — he's like a brother to me..."
Lenny Kravitz is friends with Lisa Bonet's famous ex
While some may scratch their heads thinking about being so close with an ex (let alone the ex's new partner), for Lenny Kravitz, it couldn't be any more natural. The singer is notoriously close with Lisa Bonet's ex-husband Jason Momoa and considers him a brother. He opened up to ET about their unique relationship, telling the outlet in 2020, "[Jason's] a big teddy bear. He's a kid at heart, and that's why I love him. We really love each other. We're friends; not only family, but friends."
While dealing with the fallout of his failed marriage with Bonet and becoming friends again took some work, the connection between the "Let Love Rule" singer and Momoa was instant. "But as far as Jason and I? Literally the moment we met, we were like, 'Oh, yeah. I love this dude,'" he revealed to Men's Health in 2020. Kravitz and Momoa don't just have an ex in common, though. The two share many similar interests, which include a love for instruments (particularly the guitar, bass, and drums), motorcycles, Airstreams, and even design, Kravitz told GQ.
Despite Momoa and Bonet's divorce in early 2022, Kravitz and the "Game of Thrones" actor still remain close friends. On March 11, 2022, the singer shared a picture on Instagram of both him and Momoa on motorcycles together, with a caption that read, "Ride or die. Brothers for life." If only all relationships could be so pure and healthy! We're taking notes.