Ways Teresa Giudice's Life Will Change After Prison
No one leaves prison and rejoins society without having to make some kind of adjustment. Celebrities, both real and "reality," must make adjustments too. So now that inmate #65703-050's, aka Teresa Giudice, has been released from FCI Danbury, we compiled a list of what she's going to have to get used to now that she's back in the world.
She'll have to find outfits to match her new anklet
Despite the fact that Teresa Giudice won't be behind bars anymore, she won't be a completely free and clear woman. She's going to be under house arrest for about two months, according to Radar Online. And those ankle monitors parolees have to wear aren't known for being fashion forward or friendly. Plus, with how big and bulky they are, it's going to be tough finding something that goes with it. She's going to need just the right boots to cover it up. Oh, it also means that production of Real Housewives of New Jersey could also be delayed for two months too, as the prison bureau has to okay her involvement. So maybe there's a silver lining to this cloud after all.
She'll have to resist the urge to shiv her husband (or anyone)
In prison, when inmates have problems with each other, they get solved in very simple ways. The most common way is with a good, old-fashioned shanking. It can make an issue vanish in minutes. Now, there's no way of knowing that Teresa Giudice ever shanked anyone while she was in the slammer. However, that's kind of how it's supposed to work, and she does seem like the type.
She'll have to get used to showering alone again
Or maybe she won't. This is a tough one. After months of communal showering, Giudice may be longing for a private shower. On the other hand, showering alone may be a strange experience for her now. She may need someone in there with her. She may drag some unfortunate family member in there. Her release is really going to be bad for everyone.
No more making her own wine
Again, this one could go either way. Making "pruno," prison wine, isn't easy. Now that Giudice is out of jail, she won't have to worry about making it herself. It'll be nice for her to kick off her shoes and pop the cork on a nice bottle of vino whenever she wants, without any hassle. But, after her time behind bars, she may long for the taste of fresh pruno, which is quite the acquired taste.
She'll have an easier time handling the kids
Everyone who comes out of prison carries an aura of toughness. Whether said person has actually become tougher is beside the point. Friends and family just assume it. While this may make family gatherings a bit tense, if Teresa's clever enough, she can use it to her advantage, like when her kids get out of hand. All she has to do is remind them every now and then that mommy went to prison, and it changed her in a bad way. They won't step out of line once. It's not a bad idea, knowing her husband will be gone, serving his own prison stint. Dealing with four kids, she's going to need every trick she can think of.
She'll have to answer a lot of Orange is the New Black questions
Any time a person goes away anywhere, friends and family ask them a million questions about it. This happens whether it's a trip to another country or a trip to another part of town they've never been to before. And prison is no different, especially now when one of the most popular shows is set in a women's prison. So Teresa better get ready for a lot of questions about prison gangs, fights in the showers, and mentally unstable inmates. You know, heartwarming memories.
Writing her prison memoirs
No one knows how much writing talent Teresa Giudice has. That said, she's a celebrity who went to prison. This means a publisher has already approached her about publishing her prison memoirs. And since Giudice is a reality celebrity, of course she's probably jumped at the chance to unleash this literary miscarriage upon the world, which, according to a few sources, is titled Turning The Tables: From Housewife to Inmate and Back Again. Who can blame her? Like with Snooki and Kim Kardashian, Giudice has legions of fans willing to readily part with their hard-earned money for the opportunity to read her deepest "thoughts." Just remember when you see her book: a tree died for this.
She can be the toughest again
Of the entire cast of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, Teresa Giudice is the toughest, and that includes the husbands. She's probably the toughest person on all the Housewives shows. Because of this, few people would want to mess with her. Keep in mind though, that only concerns civilized members of society. In prison, however, it's doubtful that she was the toughest. She probably wasn't even in the top ten. Now that she's out of prison, she can return to her rightful place at the top of the food chain. It must be a relief for her.