A Complete Timeline Of Tommy Lee's Relationships

The following article references domestic abuse.

Thomas Lee Bass, who is most well-known as Tommy Lee, rose to fame as the drummer of the rock band Mötley Crüe. The musician performed with the band for nearly two decades before pursuing other endeavors. Lee fulfills the typical rebellious rock star stereotype with his grungy style and rather, um, eventful love life. One of his marriages even inspired a Rolling Stone article that would go on to inspire a whole Hulu miniseries — and that is only one piece of Lee's relationship history. Needless to say, his personal life is rarely boring. 

He has been married a total of four times. He has been engaged more than once. He has both officially dated and allegedly dated some of the most beautiful women in Hollywood. And he's gone the solo route. "Well, when I'm single I'm one guy, and when I'm in a relationship I'm totally another," Lee once told Rolling Stone. "They're both a good time."

Ready to get into Tommy Lee's relationship history? Buckle your roller coaster drum kit seat belt, because this is going to be a wild ride.

It seems Tommy Lee did not have trouble scoring dates with models like Elaine Starchuk, who eventually became the musician's wife. Lee and Starchuk married in 1984 and were officially divorced the following year. While it has been rumored that the couple were only officially spouses for about a week, Starchuk shared details on her Facebook account that suggest this speculation may be inaccurate. "My first marriage after dating two years, lasted only three months after catching my husband cheating.. I immediately filed for a divorce. (We were not married for four days as documented on the crazy Internet)," the model wrote on Facebook. Although the separation could have been due to Lee's infidelity, it is still unclear exactly why the marriage was cut short as the musician has not spoken publicly about the split.

Lee was not the only Mötley Crüe member Starchuk had eyes for. According to Parade, the model also dated Lee's bandmate Vince Neil. Additionally, Starchuk became involved with band member Nikki Sixx after divorcing Lee. After moving on from relationships with some of the world's most famous rock stars, Starchuk went on to create a successful eyelash extension company called Enlightened Lashes. It appears the former model made a smooth transition from rock star's wife to successful entrepreneur.

Following his whirlwind relationship with Elaine Starchuk, Tommy Lee wasted no time moving on to his next love interest. He soon began dating '80s bombshell Tawny Kitaen. The video vixen, who passed away in May 2021, was known for her roles in music videos for the band Whitesnake, including "Here I Go Again" and "Is This Love." Although Lee never married Kitaen, they were a prominent couple during the '80s. After they ended things, Kitaen went on to date and marry David Coverdale of Whitesnake. The pair divorced after two years together.

Much like Lee, the model dated many stars throughout her lifetime. In addition to her relationships with Coverdale and Lee, Kitaen has also been linked to high-profile celebs like O.J. Simpson and Jerry Seinfeld. She opened up about her relationship with Seinfeld in an interview with Daily Mail. "At first, we'd be very low-key about it," she said of her fling with the actor. "Knowing people were always watching, we'd be on the lot and say, 'Hello, how are you doing today?' That sort of thing." She explained that they could not keep their love for each other a secret for long. "And then we finally said, 'What the hell are we doing?' And we'd hug and hold hands," the model revealed.

Elaine Starchuk was Tommy Lee's first wife, but certainly not his last. Soon after ending his relationship with Tawny Kitaen, Lee began dating actor Heather Locklear who would eventually become his second wife. The couple married after only one year of dating, but this did not deter their plans for an extravagant wedding. According to People, Lee and Locklear recited their vows in front of 500 guests at the luxurious Santa Barbara Biltmore hotel in 1986.

The couple seemed to be deeply in love despite their contrasting public reputations. Locklear was a promising young actor with a clean image and Lee was a rebellious musician known for being a bit rough around the edges. Still, the newlyweds did not seem to think their differences would create conflict in their relationship. "I've only thought of getting married once," Locklear told People. "I plan for this one to last."

It appears that Lee also thought the marriage would last. "I think we'll be the coolest grandma and grandpa in the world. We'll be like 85 or 90; I'll still be a rock pig, and Heather will still be gorgeous," the former Mötley Crüe drummer said in People. Unfortunately, Lee and Locklear's hopes for their relationship were not fulfilled. The pair split in 1994 after being married for eight years. 

Tommy Lee went on to date model Bobbie Brown following his divorce from Heather Locklear. Brown rose to fame after starring in the music video for Warrant's "Cherry Pie," and a few years later, she was engaged to the Mötley Crüe drummer. In a preview of her book "Dirty Rocker Boys" provided to New York Post, the video vixen shared that Lee proposed after only a few months of dating. "Six months into our relationship, in the summer of 1994, Tommy wanted to take things to the next level. 'I wanna wife you, Bobbie,' he said over dinner at the Four Seasons," she recounted. "With tears in my eyes, I said, 'Yes.'"

The engagement came to an abrupt end when Playboy model Pamela Anderson (who would eventually become Lee's third wife) came into the picture. "My new fiancé and I were out one night at Bar One on the Sunset Strip when Pamela approached us," Brown recalled. "I, of course, knew who she was because people were constantly confusing the two of us — two big-busted blond bombshells. But that night, my doppelgänger was on a mission." 

On "The Opie & Anthony Show" in 2013, Brown shared that her relationship with Lee was tumultuous at that point, alleging he was abusive. Shortly after they met Anderson, the rocker was galavanting with the "Baywatch" actor. 

If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website.

Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson's relationship moved incredibly fast. "It really was love at first sight," Anderson told People. "I only knew him four days before I married him." The couple met in 1994, and the following year, a disgruntled electrician named Rand Gauthier stole and sold copies of a sex tape they filmed as revenge. Years later, this story was turned into a Hulu miniseries called "Pam & Tommy." 

Unsurprisingly, the tape leak was hard on the then-couple. "Not being able to do anything ... about [the tape] was adding so much frustration and stress to our relationship. It was just consuming us," Lee said on an episode of "20/20."

The tape was not the only source of conflict in Anderson and Lee's relationship. As the AP reported at the time, Lee received a six-month jail sentence in 1998 after being charged with spousal abuse. The arrest was the result of an altercation that reportedly left Anderson concerned for the wellbeing of the couple's two young sons. In his memoir, "The Dirt," Lee explained he "couldn't understand" why Anderson pressed charges. "She was probably scared and thought I was some crazy, violent monster; she probably thought she was doing the right thing for the kids, and she probably wanted an easy way out of a difficult situation," he wrote (via Us Weekly). The couple divorced later that year. The pair had an on-and-off relationship until 2010.

If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website.

In 2003, rumor had it that Tommy Lee struck up some sort of dalliance with fellow musician Pink. Although Lee and Pink never confirmed they were romantically involved, Pamela Anderson commented on the tittle-tattle in a 2004 "The Howard Stern Show" interview. When asked if Lee had sex with Pink, Anderson shared, "Oh yeah, absolutely." She didn't seem to be bothered by Lee moving on, though, because she told Stern that she "loves" Pink. She also clarified they were not together anymore. "I don't know who dumped who," she said when Stern suggested Lee broke things off with Pink.

In 2004, Pink clarified the status of her and Lee's relationship. "It never really began," she insisted to Contactmusic.com "He was just a super-cool guy, fun to hang out with. He's got a bad rep, unfortunately, but so do I. I've known him for a long time. He's just a friend." She went on to explain that her and Lee were "never really together," so there is a possibility that the relationship never got serious. However, when the Tommy Lee question came up on a 2021 episode of "Watch What Happens Live," Pink simply replied, "Yes."

In the midst of his up and down relationship with Pamela Anderson, Tommy Lee was spotted with supermodel Naomi Campbell. In 2004, SFGATE reported that Lee and Campbell were seen getting close to one another at a party in Miami, Florida. The pair allegedly spent an entire weekend together and ended their festivities at a local bar. When People asked Lee about the supposed connection, he said (via UPI.com), "I've been kind of going out with her for a little while. I know people say she's a little hard to work with, but she's not like that around me. She's a sweet girl." According to SFGATE, Campbell's reps told Page Six the relationship rumors didn't hold water. 

While we may never know the full story about what did or did not happen, we do know that the musician would go on to rekindle his romance with one of his ex-wives. In 2008, the rock star told Rolling Stone that he and Pamela Anderson were back on. "Pamela and the kids have moved in with me," Lee told the magazine. "It's awesome, man. It's definitely working. You can tell on the kids' faces — they're happy when we're together."

After Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson split once again in 2008, he moved on rather quickly and began dating singer Sofia Toufa. The rock star opened up about his feelings for Toufa in an interview with People. "I was born in Athens, but I've never really dated a Greek girl," he said. "She could be the one." It seems that for a period of time the drummer truly did believe he had a future with Toufa because he eventually proposed to her.

Lee was not shy about the engagement either — he announced the proposal on Twitter. The musician wrote, "There comes a time in a mans life when you just know your partner is for LIFE!! Say hello to my fiancé and soon to be wife @SOFIofficial 💍" Toufa also shared a tweet that seemingly confirmed the engagement. "I'm something that rhymes with Beyonce!!!!! 💍," the singer wrote. Despite their excitement for their engagement, Lee and Toufa never exchanged vows. The couple parted ways before they could get married.

Tommy Lee began dating social media star Brittany Furlan in 2017 after they connected — where else? — on the World Wide Web. "We met online, but we knew about each other for years," she told Fox News in 2019. "He used to watch my Vine videos — he was one of my followers and obviously, I loved his music," she said. "We just hit each other up and ended up going on a couple dates and it was awesome — now here we are."

When the influencer was asked about her relationship with Lee's ex-wife Pamela Anderson, Furlan told Fox News that not only had they not met, but the Playboy icon blocked her on social media. "It was just so ridiculous and really awful and it just made me really upset because she doesn't know me and knew nothing about me or my life — and never even tried to meet me," she said. (Evidently, they ended up meeting at some point: As People reported at the time, Furlan and Anderson were part of a family photo that was snapped at a 2021 event.)

In February 2019, Furlan took to Instagram to announce that she and the rocker tied the knot, writing, "MR & MRS LEE YAHOOOOOOOO." In 2022, they celebrated their third year of marriage. Lee shared a sultry photo of Furlan to his Instagram account on their anniversary and explained he prefers to profess his love for his wife in person.