Alyssa Scott Opens Up About Her Debilitating Grief After Son's Tragic Death

Alyssa Scott continues to mourn the death of Zen, her son with Nick Cannon, who died of brain cancer in December 2021. He was only five months old. At the time, Cannon shared how he thought that the baby was experiencing sinus-related issues, but they eventually found out that it was something more serious. "He always had this real interesting breathing. And by the time he was two months ... I also noticed he's got like a nice-sized head — I call it a Cannon head. ... We didn't think anything about it," he said, per CBS News. "And we found out it was ... a malignant tumor in his head... And so immediately we had to have surgery. It was brain surgery and we put a shunt in his head and we were hoping for the best."

But things took a turn for the worse, and Zen didn't make it. Despite his short life, the comedian felt lucky to have cared for him. "He was the most loving baby," he told People. "I look at being his father as a great privilege." He also commended Scott for being a wonderful mother. "I really have to say, Zen's mom Alyssa [Scott], Alyssa was the strongest woman I've ever seen," he said on The Nick Cannon Show, per Rolling Stone. "She was emotional when she needed to be, but she was always the best mom and continues to be the best mom possible." Scott released her own statement at the time, but it's only now that she's detailing how heartbreaking that period was.

Two months after Zen has passed, Alyssa Scott can still feel the heartbreak. "Today was a don't want to get out of bed kind of day," she shared in an early February Instagram Story, per Us Weekly. "I pray he visits me in my dreams."

This is hardly the first time Scot has shared her grief with the world. A month earlier, she also shared how during Zen's final days, he was surrounded by the people who loved him. "We knew he would not make it to see 6 months. I am eternally grateful he was in the arms of the people who loved him most," she wore. "I know we were fully present and with him in those moments. We love you Zen. We got you down here baby boy."

Scott's time with Zen hasn't been easy, but she said that she was able to make it through thanks to the energy her late son had given him. "We would hand the baton off to each other. You kept me going. ... We were a team, both determined to see it through. It feels unbearable running without you now. I can't," she said in a lengthy Instagram post. "It has been an honor and privilege being your mommy. I will love you for eternity."