Inside Patty Smyth And John McEnroe's Marriage

John McEnroe may have been a volatile maverick known for questioning the seriousness of umpires on the tennis court, but nowadays, the winner of no fewer than seven Grand Slam titles sure seems to lead a quiet, even-keeled personal life. He's been wed to '80s rock singer Patty Smyth for nearly a quarter of a century, and while they seem to be living their happily ever after, the relationship has not been without highs and lows. "It was such good luck to have met each other," Smyth told AARP. "But it did not come without a price tag. No one will ever know the stuff we had to go through."

What exactly is it like being in a long-term relationship with the world-famous sportsman once dubbed Superbrat? And what is it like being married to the woman once considered suitably badass enough to front Van Halen? From career aspirations and empty nesting to real estate portfolios and sexual chemistry, here's a look at the couple's decades-spanning love story. 

Chances are you might not have even been aware that John McEnroe and Patty Smyth had been married since 1997. They're certainly more low profile than that other slightly younger tennis ace/singer couple Anna Kournikova and Enrique Iglesias, that's for sure.

Smyth, whose biggest hit remains her 1992 Don Henley duet "Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough," told People magazine in 2020 that she believes the lack of media coverage has helped her and McEnroe thrive: "For me, it was a superstition thing. I didn't want to be like, 'Hey, look at us, we're this happy couple.' I just thought if I kept it on the down-low, I had this gut feeling that we would stay together — if I threw it out to the world, that we wouldn't — because I've seen that happen so many times." She shared a similar sentiment with AARP, stating, "I thought if we started talking about how happily married we are, we would jinx it."

Suffice to say, it would be strange for the two to get into reality TV, but apparently, as Smyth shared in People, they considered signing up for a warts and all show. Luckily, they decided against the idea, with Smyth admitting that it "probably would have broken us up."

Just like every rock star appears to dream of being a sportsman, every sportsman appears to dream of being a rock star. Take John McEnroe, for example, who showcased his guitar skills on collaborations with The Highly Strung and The Full Metal Rackets. He's even formed his own outfit, The Johnny Smyth Band.

The four-time Wimbledon champion might not have enjoyed the same level of success on the stage as on the tennis court. But his passion for music still inspires the woman in his life who has made making and touring records her calling. In a piece she wrote for The Daily Beast, Patty Smyth revealed that she even penned a song called "Wish I Were You" about her husband's other major interest and that she appreciates how he shares it with the rest of his loved ones.

Smyth said, "My girls all love jamming with him, and truth be told, he has kept music in my life. Without him forcing me to, I'd barely listen to anything. I believe our kids love music because he loves listening and playing music, and because I was always writing around them, and playing them new songs I wrote. I have so many videos of the kids singing with John. Sometimes they kick me out: 'Mom can't sing, only us.' Ha! I love watching them cut loose."

Patty Smyth may love John McEnroe's passion for music but that doesn't mean she's a fan of his, erm, distinctive dulcet tones. While promoting her first festive album, "Come On December," in 2016, the Grammy Award nominee essentially explained to New York Daily News why it didn't feature a guest appearance from her husband.

Referring to the ex-tennis ace's tendency to belt out carols at their family home, Smyth remarked, "His singing isn't the thing that really moves me. But he loves to sing, God bless him. What happens is that he starts singing and he drowns everybody out because he's got a big voice. You can tell from his speaking voice (that he's loud), but he doesn't sing very well." She's not the only one who's publicly remarked on his pipes: After McEnroe shared a video of himself playing guitar (made with tennis strings, of course) and singing, fellow tennis great Novak Djokovic joked on Facebook (via Tennis) that "singing is not Johnny's forte."

Perhaps wanting to soften the blow a little bit, the "Hands Tied" singer did point out to Daily News that she isn't entirely averse to McEnroe showing off his musical prowess. That said, it's only the sportsman's guitar skills that she wants to hear. 

Patty Smyth has her own affix to one of the most well-worn adages about romance. Speaking to The New York Times in 2020 about her regular Sunday habits, the "I Should Be Laughing" singer said, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but too much and the heart wanders."

The former Scandal frontwoman had been discussing how she and her husband had coped during the lockdown stages of the pandemic when she revealed, "We were at our house in California for a long time. My husband didn't leave for about six or seven months. That was the longest time he hadn't been on a plane since he was 16 or 17. Now he's here with me. I think if you want to stay married, you better do things together."

That includes regular jam sessions, too, as Smyth explained, "We've been playing more at home together, and if he's in the area when I'm doing a show he'll come out and do a couple of songs." The rocker was also keen to praise the tennis legend's perseverance with his instrument of choice, the guitar, and how he'd used his quarantine time to practice.

John McEnroe was once barred from the exclusive Queen's Club after cursing at the chairman's wife over a dispute about practice time. He was also disqualified from the 1990 Australian Open after telling the umpire to "go f*** your mother," received a three-week suspension from the game after throwing his racket in anger at a tournament in Sweden and, most famously, uttered the immortal line "You cannot be serious" in frustration at Wimbledon 1981. Even at the age of 50, when he was competing in senior tournaments, the sportsman still couldn't help but cause controversy with his anger management issues.

With this kind of hall of shame, you'd probably bet your house on McEnroe being the most ill-tempered member of his family. But in an interview with NPR to promote her first proper studio effort in 28 years, the aptly-named "It's About Time," wife Patty Smyth shocked everyone when she revealed that this actually wasn't the case.

When asked what the secret to her and McEnroe's long-lasting marriage was, the "Downtown Train" singer replied, "I have no idea what the secret is. I do know that if you asked us who has a worst temper, it would be me, not him, so ... I am totally the hothead."

In a 2020 interview with People, Patty Smyth and John McEnroe revealed they like nothing better than reading newspapers and spending quality time with their dog. That's a far cry from the chaotic nature of both parties' first marriages.

As his stage name suggests, Richard Hell wasn't exactly ideal first husband material. The punk icon, who was wed to Smyth for just a year in the mid-1980s, was described as America's answer to Sid Vicious thanks to his hellraising behavior. "I was insane and desperate and riddled with drugs and didn't know how to make a record sound good," he freely told The Guardian.

McEnroe's first wife Tatum O'Neal also struggled with drug use. The actor, who won an Academy Award aged just ten for her performance in "Paper Moon," spent much of their eight years together battling addiction and eventually ended up losing custody of their three kids in the wake of their 1994 split. The pair's post-divorce relationship became increasingly bitter following accusations made to the press and in several books. However, O'Neal later told CBS Sunday Morning she was happy that her ex-husband was now in a healthier relationship, admitting that she hadn't met anyone who came even close to the tennis icon. 

If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

Patty Smyth's first marriage to Richard Hell, the cult punk rocker renowned for his work with backing band The Voidoids and the father of her firstborn daughter Ruby, lasted barely a year. So you could perhaps forgive the ex-Scandal singer for being a little pessimistic about the future when she first got together with John McEnroe in 1993. As Smyth said in AARP, "I did not believe in love or marriage [before meeting McEnroe]." As you might've deduced, she'd eventually change her stance.

Referring to her long-lasting marriage with the tennis champion in a piece she penned for The Daily Beast, the "No Mistakes" singer admitted, "I just want to say right here, that never in a million years did I think I would be in a relationship this long— not only in it but happy." Smyth went on to say how she'd also become disillusioned with her music career at the time she and McEnroe started dating. 

But despite his hot-headed reputation, the three-time US Open champion gave her a new and much more optimistic outlook on life: "For a kid raised by a single mom, who moved every three years, finding a real grown-up man-child who I knew I could trust was like landing on another planet. I had no experience or blueprint. It was new and exciting — being married, staying married. And I was with an athlete, very different from anyone I'd ever dated."

When asked by People in 2020 about how she and John McEnroe have kept their decade-spanning marriage going, Patty Smyth rattled off the usual suspects: "friendship, compromise, privacy." But in a case of a little TMI, the singer's husband then reminded her she hadn't mentioned the "most obvious" factor. "Sex," she suddenly remembered. "You've got to keep the sex going."

The Golden Globe nominee went on to reveal that she'd found it hard to keep the spark going in her previous relationships. But if anything, it's only burned brighter the more time she's spent with the tennis great: "If you get to know somebody and get really intimate, it can get more exciting and just more of a real journey. That's a gift." Smyth admits that no one is more surprised than herself that she and McEnroe still have that kind of connection. "Twenty-something years later, I'm like 'Wow, I still have these feelings when I see him,'" she told People. "Never did I think that I would ever be with somebody for this long ... I think we got very lucky."

When she released her single "Build a Fire" in April 2020, Smyth touched on their unwavering attraction to one another. "I'm surprised we still have this chemistry going," she said in a statement (via Spin). "We still have this strong bond to each other, but that's what 'Build a Fire' is about."

Both John McEnroe and Patty Smyth grew up in New York, and as Smyth told AARP, even lived "20 minutes from each other in Queens" when they were kids.

However, Smyth and McEnroe didn't actually clap eyes on each other until they were well into their mid-30s. As People recounted, they initially crossed paths at a Christmas party in 1993, and went on a date several months later. In the aforementioned AARP interview, the former claimed that she instantly felt a common bond with the "Never Have I Ever" narrator on that first date: "It was like I knew him. It was familiar and exciting."

But coming off the back of a brief marriage to fellow rocker Richard Hell, Smyth was initially reluctant to embrace this instant connection. Indeed, it was her future second husband who was much keener to make it to a second date. "He knew it was something to hold onto sooner than I did," she said in AARP. "I was like, look around, everyone is cheating and miserable." McEnroe's powers of persuasion must be as strong as his backhand as the pair not only went on to date for several years, they ended up walking down the aisle and having two kids together.

John McEnroe and Patty Smyth have two children together, Anna and Ava. Their blended family also includes the three kids that the former had with his first wife, Tatum O'Neal — Kevin, Sean and Emily — and Ruby, the daughter Smyth shares with her first husband, Richard Hell.

But with all six offspring now in their 20s or 30s, the Smyth-McEnroe household is a lot calmer than it used to be. Luckily, the couple appear to be coping well with their empty nest. Well, McEnroe definitely is anyway. When asked whether they were enjoying the peace and quiet by AARP in 2020, Smyth replied, "John is, yes! He was very happy. Men deal better with it. Our youngest is a senior in college and was with us a while in quarantine. Like me, she's an alpha female, and it's hard to have two in the house."

So how do the pair pass the time now they only have to look after themselves? Smyth told People that she and McEnroe enjoy working out together and hanging out with their dog. The tennis master also sees another major benefit of being home alone: he can now regularly walk around the house in his birthday suit without causing a racket.

The sums that tennis superstars received back in the '80s might not have been in the same ballpark as those handed out to the likes of modern greats Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal, and Novak Djokovic. But the era's most iconic name, John McEnroe, still bagged enough to call himself a millionaire dozens of times over. And he's since added to his fortune with his duties as a commentator, occasional actor, and regular veterans player.

But his wife Patty Smyth certainly isn't with the sportsman for his bank balance. The singer, who's also earned a considerable amount of money herself as the frontwoman of rock band Scandal and with her subsequent solo career, told Spin in 2020 that she's a fiercely independent woman: "When I started touring again, we were doing so great and we were killing — but because I'm married to John [McEnroe], literally every agent I talked to was like, 'You don't want to work, do you?' I was like, 'Yeah, I want to work, man, that's why I'm here.'"

The "Look What Love Has Done" singer, whose combined net worth with McEnroe reportedly stands at a whopping $100 million, also said that she's never been in it for the Benjamins. "Back in my day, you didn't go into music to make money, you went into music because you loved it and that's what you needed to do," she said in Spin. "I wasn't thinking, 'Oh wow, I'm going to get rich.'"

Turns out that John "You cannot be serious" McEnroe isn't the only member of his family who can deliver the odd zinger. Indeed, the nine-time Grand Slam men's doubles winner certainly met his match when he began dating — and later tied the knot with — rock singer Patty Smyth.

In a 2017 interview with NPR to promote his second memoir, "But Seriously," McEnroe recalled how he once had ambitions to show off his skills on the six-string and play in his wife's backing group. But without missing a beat, Smyth shot him down in flames.

After hearing about his offer to mix their personal and professional lives, the former Scandal frontwoman told the aspiring musician, "I want to play mixed doubles with you at Wimbledon." When McEnroe reminded her that she isn't exactly a master of the sport, Smyth simply responded, "Exactly." Ouch! The accomplished musician might not have been keen on sharing the stage with her husband on a permanent basis, but she has occasionally allowed McEnroe to fulfill his dreams. In 2017, for example, the pair performed a cover version of Nirvana's "Territorial Pissings" at New York's Stephen Talkhouse.

As you might expect from a couple with a reported net worth of $100 million, John McEnroe and Patty Smyth have an impressive bit of real estate. In fact, the value of their various homes is said to be in the region of a cool $50 million.

In 2013, the pair spent $3.35 million on a four-bedroom, 2,800-square foot house in Malibu, per the Daily Mail. This was just down the street from one of their other properties, an ocean-front mansion in the exclusive community of Colony which, as Variety reported in 2017, eventually became a rental property. And in 2015, Variety they shelled out a whopping $21 million for a third home in — you guessed it — Malibu. McEnroe, in particular, appears to be a fan of the beach city: He also once owned the Carbon Beach home that used to belong to talk show legend Johnny Carson.

Back in 1999, just two years after they became husband and wife, McEnroe and Smyth bought a two-acre place in the New York borough of Southampton for just over $4 million, per the Observer. They sold it in 2017 for more than three times that amount, too. But the pair's portfolio hasn't always been solely residential. As The Sydney Morning Herald noted, McEnroe also owned a loft space in Manhattan which he transformed into a private art gallery in the 1990s.

Patty Smyth freely admits that the only thing she knew about one of the tennis world's all-time greats John McEnroe when they first started dating in 1993 was that he constantly shouted at umpires. Although the rock singer remains proud of her husband's rebellious streak nearly 30 years on, she does acknowledge that it can have both its pros and cons.

In a 2017 chat with CBS News, Smyth explained, "People really feel like they know him because he's so familiar to them. He stood up to The Man and he challenged them and he said 'F*** you, okay. I'm not gonna take it, all right?' And so, there were a lot of people who were like, 'Yeahhhh!' — maybe people who didn't have the nerve to do it themselves in their own life."

However, the Best Original Song Oscar nominee also acknowledged the flip side to McEnroe's type of fame: having personal moments regularly interrupted by fans. Smyth revealed that the couple are often ambushed in public in the quest for selfies, and that when her husband refuses to pose for the camera, his admirers essentially do their own impression of the hot-headed star and unleash a volley of foul-mouthed remarks. Regardless, if he doesn't want to take a selfie, he's not going to take a selfie. As Smyth said in The New York Times in 2008, "He just doesn't ever let what people think dictate what he does."