Laughable Backstage Celebrity Demands

Being a celebrity affords a person certain luxuries: expensive cars, designer clothes, and the ability to make backstage demands ahead of performances or appearances. And while stars making crazy, ego-hungry requests isn't exactly a new phenomenon, some A-listers take things to a whole new level, foregoing typical orders of candy and fruit and instead asking for — nay, expecting — absurd items in their dressing rooms that most people wouldn't even have in their homes. From custom-made French lamps to 20 international phone lines, some music icons have listed some strange items on their must-have lists. And we have to wonder... what in the world were they thinking?

From a backstage fish pond to the presence of a Bob Hope impersonator, some of these have become the stuff of legend, while others may prove surprising to those who discover just how outrageous and ridiculous these demands can get.

Below are several celebs who have made names for themselves not just with their work as artists but with their ridiculous requests. Keep reading to learn all about the bizarre things some of Hollywood's biggest names allegedly needed to have before and after a show.

It's not unusual for singers and actors to request fresh flowers in their dressing rooms. For Katy Perry, however, that request came to become very specific, underlining what appears to be an extreme dislike of a particular floral variety. Channeling her best Miranda Priestly, Katy Perry allegedly included in her 2011 rider a whole list of specific demands about what kind of flowers were allowed — and not allowed — in her dressing room. According to paperwork obtained by The Smoking Gun, Perry requested "White and purple hydrangeas, pink & white roses and peonies. OR if the above is not available selection of seasonal white flowers to include white orchids."

Sure, that sounds all well and fine, though perhaps just a teensy bit on the difficult side. That is, until you get to the last, random demand: "ABSOLUTELY NO CARNATIONS," the rider read, even adding an underline for emphasis. Okay, but ... why? Actually, scratch that. We don't want to know.

Meanwhile, Perry's 45-page (!) rider also includes details about dressing room food, hotels and transportation, and the latter section features some doozies. Among the highlights: Perry's driver is forbidden to start a conversation with her, talk on a cell phone while driving, or ask for an autograph, particularly while driving (which makes one wonder what kind of experiences Perry has had with drivers in the past). Then there's this emphatic but wildly misspelled gem: "DO NOT STAIR AT THE BACKSEAT THRU THE REARVIEUW MIRROW."

When you've had a long and successful career like Cher's, you can get away with making a fancy request or two, and the "Believe" singer's alleged demands actually make sense. According to documents obtained by The Smoking Gun, many of Cher's requests seemed standard, if not downright reasonable, when she hit the road for her 1999 Do You Believe? tour. These included such items as a table with a white tablecloth, chairs, and fresh flowers — specifically, casa blanca lilies or gardenias.

In her dressing room, Cher requested M&Ms, mixed nuts and two bottles of "fine" wine, one white and one red — and neither could be Kendall Jackson (apparently she's not a fan). Along with a dressing room for herself, she also asked for separate rooms for her male and female dancers, another room for her band, another to house her wardrobe (as fans know, she does a lot of costume changes during a show), and another for someone named Dr. Stacey — which had to be large enough to accommodate a massage table.

She also asked for one additional room, to house her wigs. It's called, obviously, the "Wig Room," according to the report. Honestly, we think anyone paying money to see Cher on tour should expect nothing less.

Over the course of a music career spanning five decades, Madonna has become notorious for her alleged demands and diva-like behavior. However, the "Material Girl" singer allegedly took things one step too far during her MDNA tour in 2012. According to a report by InTouch magazine (via the Daily Mail), Madonna's list of demands included a 200-person entourage (yep) and "light-pink roses that have stems trimmed to precisely six inches." Perhaps funniest of all, Madonna supposedly demanded 20 international phone lines, as well. Because why not?

She's also very particular about her dressing room and the way in which it's furnished. How particular? "She requires all furniture be removed from the rooms and replaced with her own pieces that she has shipped in," a source told the Mail.

Meanwhile, that massive entourage was reported to include 30 bodyguards, a yoga instructor, personal chefs (yes, plural) and even an acupuncturist. "Madonna has probably the longest list of requirements of any of the world's music stars," a source told the Daily Star, as reported by the Mail. "She expects things to be just right or it puts her off her stage show."

It's arguable that nobody has taken the title of "diva" and run with it as successfully and enthusiastically as Mariah Carey. Name another singer who showed up at a press conference accompanied by several shirtless men who kept her champagne glass bubbling while she complained about the ghastly experience of judging wannabe singers on "American Idol."

She's definitely a diva when she goes on tour. In 2009, the Daily Mail reported that Carey requested that 20 white kittens and 100 white doves surround her during a Christmas tree lighting at the Westfield shopping complex in London. She also wanted butterfly-shaped confetti and 80 security guards, among other wacky demands, according to the report (via the New York Daily News), which also claimed she insisted on being chauffeured to the event in a Rolls Royce, where she would be dropped off at a pink carpet leading to a similarly hued podium.

The end result was one of those good news, bad news situations. "We did manage to source the doves that we were going to release into the sky, but the kittens proved terribly difficult," a source said of attempting to meet her request. "In the end, it was made clear that due to health and safety, there was no way we could have the animals at Westfield. We do not allow pets into Westfield — that rule would apply for everyone." None of this should surprise anyone who caught her infamous episode of MTV Cribs.

Unlike some of the lengthier riders that music artists have presented to promoters, Nine Inch Nails only had a modest two-page wish list (obtained by The Smoking Gun). Tucked away at the end of the list of requested food items, however, was something unusual: two boxes of cornstarch, along with the notation "VERY IMPORTANT!"

So what was with the cornstarch? Was frontman Trent Reznor hiding a secret addiction to fresh-baked cookies? The secret was cracked by The Hollywood Reporter, which noted that Reznor used the corn tarch to remove the skin-tight leather pants he typically wore onstage (anyone who ever watched the "Friends" episode where Ross struggled with getting in and out of similar pants should get the concept).

The cornstarch also served another purpose. In the video for the band's single "Down In It," Reznor covered himself with cornstarch to simulate the look of a rotting corpse, and would often replicate that look onstage. The more you know.

Justin Bieber has been on the straight and narrow for a few years now, likely coinciding with when he and wife Hailey tied the knot. And while the bad boy behavior of years past appears to be in the rearview mirror, remnants appeared to pop up in his tour riders. 

For example, a journalist leaked Bieber's rider during a 2017 tour stop in India, posting it on Twitter, and the requests were wild. The "Love Yourself" singer's alleged list of must-have included a jacuzzi backstage, two hotels for Bieber and his entourage, a redesigned suite "filled with antique furniture, Mogul art and purple carnations," and a private jet and helicopter on standby, should Bieber feel the urge to go and see the sights. Also requested was "luxury transport" for his entourage of 120 — Bieber himself, however, would be traveling apart from the group, solo in a Rolls Royce — in addition to an "Indian yoga casket" containing an array of essential oils and literature about chakras, to be left for him in his suite.

Other stuff on the extensive list of must-haves included a ping-pong table, a Playstation and a personal masseuse — but not, under any circumstances, are there to be any lilies anywhere in his presence. And when it came to food, well, let's just say the Biebs is quite particular. "Top culinary experts will supervise the gourmet [fare] being served to Bieber over the four days with five dishes per day being renamed after his popular songs," noted the rider.

Kanye West's Saint Pablo Tour fell apart on the heels of a reported breakdown, but when it was up and running, it was truly everything you'd come to expect from the eccentric rapper. Take, for example, a report from TMZ alleging that West had requested "two alcoholic machines" to be waiting for him backstage. What was kept in the machines, you ask? Well, according to the report, one was for "dispensing frozen Hennessy and Coke"; the other was kept with "frozen Grey Goose and lemonade." West is allegedly incredibly difficult to manage backstage – but c'mon, a frozen vodka lemonade sounds totally worth the pain.

Of course, those weren't West's only backstage demands. According to a 2007 tour rider that found its way to The Smoking Gun, at the time West was apparently quite focused on moisturizing; among the items listed are Neutrogena, L'Occitane and Nivea products. West was also seemingly battling a dandruff problem, given his request for a bottle of Neutrogena Dandruff Shampoo. West also liked to have fresh underwear on hand, and requested one pair of cotton boxer shorts, size large, colored black.

The rider also included a request for a barber's chair, but that wasn't a dealbreaker, as an addendum noted "if available."

Ever hear the story about Van Halen demanding that no brown M&Ms be allowed backstage? Well, despite the absurd nature of the tale, it actually turned out to be true, though for reasons you may not expect.

In a video posted to Vimeo in 2012 (via NPR), former frontman David Lee Roth explained that the diva-like request was added to the rider not because the band hated the look or taste of brown M&Ms, but as a way to confirm whether venues had actually read and understood the intense lighting requirements for its concerts. If brown M&Ms weren't there, the group knew the facility had read all the paperwork. If those brown candies were present, the band knew it had a problem—something potentially far worse than chocolate melting in your hand.

As Roth confirmed, it was for that reason that the band took the M&Ms clause very seriously. According to Roth, the contract stipulated that if even a single banned brown M&M was backstage, the promoter would forfeit the proceeds of the entire show, in full. "This was touted wildly and widely as simple rock star misdemeanor excess, and being abusive of others simply because we could," Roth said, admitting that he and the other members of the band were happy to have that misconception become part of the Van Halen legend. "Who am I to get in the way of a good rumor?" he quipped.

Considering he went through a bizarre fashion phase that involved oversized hats, one might expect Pharrell's backstage demands to be rather, you know, eccentric. Still, the world was caught by surprise when he told the Today show in 2014 that he requested a framed photo of astrophysicist Carl Sagan in his dressing room.

"I watched 'Cosmos' as a child and I was always blown away by [Sagan's] mind and the way he thought," Pharrell said. "When I look at that picture I realize how lucky we all are...to be on this planet and be able to do what we love to do every day. Seeing Carl's face reminds me of it."

Of course, that wasn't his only rider request. According to The Smoking Gun, Pharrell also requested that all advertising signs within the venue be darkened or covered. "We are not hawking pizza or the local ambulance chaser in your burg," the rider declared. Additionally, a "well rested, sober" guard was ordered to be on duty in close proximity to tour vehicles, and that said security guard had better be "less concerned with texting or twittering than keeping fans/stalkers from infiltrating the venue and work areas therein."

Looking to book Jack White for an upcoming concert? Well, you might have to contend with this tour rider, which reportedly contained not only a request for "fresh home-made guacamole" but an actual recipe for how to make it. According to NPR, that recipe includes eight Haas avocados, "vine-ripened tomatoes," serrano peppers and fresh cilantro, and must not be prepared too far in advance (which is totally understandable — when it comes to guacamole, freshness is everything).

In fact, superstar chef Martin Morales, owner of London's Ceviche restaurant, actually made guacamole using White's recipe — and confirmed it was pretty darned good. In fact, Morales confirmed to NPR that White's request to not whip up the guac too early and leave it hanging around was a super solid one. "If you leave that guacamole sitting there for hours and hours, if you mix it up too much, everything will go limp and it will just be like a damp, soggy, sloppy salad," he explained. "No one wants that."

It's a pretty bonkers demand, to be sure, and yet, given the fact that The White Stripes' "Elephant" is one of the greatest records of the last 20 years, not to mention that guacamole might be the world's best dip ever, we can kind of understand where White is coming from.

If you rose to fame thanks to a bizarre catchphrase you uttered on an episode of "Dr. Phil," we wouldn't blame you for trying to milk every second of your 15 minutes of fame.

That appeared to be the strategy for Danielle "Cash Me Outside" Bregoli as she prepared to take her no-nonsense attitude out on tour. According to TMZ, Bregoli's tour rider listed a whole bunch of laugh-worthy demands, including a $750 per diem and an extra $3,000 to pay for security. Her other demands included, in no particular order: a 50-inch TV with Netflix and a DVD player so she could watch the subject-to-change "House of Wax" (the Paris Hilton version, mind you); four large Domino's pizzas; a fruit platter that better not have even the teensiest trace of pineapple on it; three fidget spinners; and five white tank tops that could be either Gildan or Fruit of the Loom brand — but "absolutely" not Hanes.

Of course, you could try to supply her with white tank tops by Hanes, but would you really want to deal with the consequences?

Steve Harvey's terrible, no good, very bad past couple of years hit another hiccup in May 2017 when Chicago blogger Robert Feder obtained a memo Harvey sent to his talk show's staff in Los Angeles. He basically told them to stay the you-know-what away from him backstage. "There will be no meetings in my dressing room. No stopping by or popping in. NO ONE. Do not come to my dressing room unless invited. Do not open my dressing room door. IF YOU OPEN MY DOOR, EXPECT TO BE REMOVED," Harvey wrote in the memo.

Harvey not only confirmed the memo but defended it under the guise of simply wanting more "me time" during the day. "I'm in my makeup chair, they walk in the room. I'm having lunch, they walk in, they don't knock. I'm in the hallway, I'm getting ambushed by people with friends that come to the show and having me sign this and do this. I just said, 'Wait a minute,'" he told Entertainment Tonight. "And in hindsight, I probably should've handled it a little bit differently." You think?

Rumors that Barbra Streisand is a diva have dogged this songstress for decades. However, few rumors are as wild as this 2017 report from the Daily Mail, which alleged that the "Funny Girl" legend asked the staff of a hotel just outside London to observe Los Angeles time to help Streisand get over her jet lag. Yep, that would mean that she allegedly "enjoyed breakfast at 4pm, lunch at about 9pm, followed by spa treatments, then had dinner delivered to her luxury suite at 2am."

The report also claimed Streisand asked the hotel to "provide a hand-made box filled with freshly cut turf so her dog Samantha...could go to the [bathroom] on the balcony outside her room" and to also provide "bespoke wooden stairs to help Samantha climb up to her multi-millionaire owner's bed."

Of course, the experience of hosting an icon like Streisand came with its perks. According to one staffer, "There was one day when Barbra was in the Jacuzzi and she broke into song. It was wonderful. Whatever people want, they can ask for. We do the best we can because it's important."

Listen: nobody wants to deal with a messy bathroom. However, some of the demands featured in one of Mary J. Blige's alleged tour riders take cleanliness to a whole new level. In documents obtained by The Smoking Gun, Blige's dressing room reportedly had to have a private and brand new toilet seat. Of course, this now has us thinking about every hotel we've ever stayed at and the millions of people who stayed there before we did. Maybe she's onto something.

Blige's rider also included another bathroom demand, indicating that the "Family Affair" singer has some very particular expectations when it comes to towels. "PURCHASER shall supply ARTIST'S Production Manager with TEN (10) MEDIUM prewashed bath-sized towels at designated load-in time," one clause in the rider detailed. "Small towels will not be accepted."

In addition, Blige insisted that the backstage area contain one sofa and one loveseat, each upholstered in "fine fabric" — and absolutely not leather.

The ladies of Bravo's "Real Housewives" franchise are known for creating a whole lot of drama, so learning that Kandi Burruss of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" has her own rider looks to be right on brand. That said, actually reading the contents of the rider is certain to elicit a wide range of reactions, from rolling one's eyes in disbelief to full-on laughter.

According to a report from TMZ, Burruss' many demands during live appearances included a police escort accompanying her vehicle, because "under no circumstance shall Kandi be delayed arriving at or departing." And then there are her bathroom expectations. Not only did Burruss demand a new toilet seat, the celebrity even wanted hers "installed under the supervision of the road manager or an assistant." That bathroom also needed to be well stocked with a specific brand of toilet paper, Cottonelle. And get this: the paperwork also requested fried chicken from Popeyes. "Please do not substitute for KFC or Churches," the contract read. "We know the difference."

To which we say: respect!

Given Beyoncé's status at the top of the music industry food chain, it would be reasonable to assume that she expects things to be exactly as she wants them when she goes on tour. Those assumptions, reported HuffPost, would be correct, according to a copy of Queen Bey's rider from her 2013 Mrs. Carter Show world tour obtained by Daily Star.

Among the diva-like demands listed in the rider: brand-new toilet seats, and red toilet paper; a supply of alkaline water, chilled to a precise 21 degrees Fahrenheit, accompanied by $900 titanium straws with which to sip it; and round balls of ice, carved by hand, in order to cool the singer's throat. In addition, all members of the road crew must be attired in clothing made from 100 percent cotton.

Of course, HuffPost also pointed out that they'd been unable to confirm whether the rider was legit, and cautioned readers to take it all with a large grain of salt — given that the NFL refuted a TMZ report that she'd demanded the installation of a $1-million nursery for daughter Blue Ivy, and $6,000 worth of imported cigars for husband Jay-Z, when she performed at the 2013 Super Bowl halftime show. As Brian McCarthy, NFL VP of communications, told the outlet, that report was "pure pulp fiction," adding, "Beyoncé and her team have been great to work with throughout this process. We have enjoyed her creativity, vision and spirit in putting on a great show that is truly a Super Bowl performance."

Back in 2014, Page Six reported that Liza Minnelli had signed on to film a TV commercial for Pine Brothers Softish Throat Drops, planned to air during that year's Golden Glove Awards. According to the outlet, Minnelli's list of demands for the shoot included two cartons of cigarettes, a humidifier ("because she can't breathe"), six cases of an antioxidant beverage, several towels (which had to be black, and made from Egyptian cotton), two scales (one for herself, another for her food), silver trays (and absolutely no Styrofoam plates), an elaborate coffee service costing $400, and, of course, a full hair and makeup team.

Even though the commercial's producers agreed to all those demands, on the day that filming was supposed to take place, Minnelli was a no-show. According to a source, Minnelli had suffered some kind of panic attack, and refused to exit her home. "Producers begged Liza to leave her apartment, which was only a few blocks away, and come to the shoot," a source told Page Six. "She refused, saying this was 'too much pressure.'"

Caught in a bind, Pine Brothers owner Rider McDowell called up Martha Stewart, who reportedly showed up within an hour and shot the commercial in about 30 minutes (and reportedly earned a cool million for it). "We reached out to Martha ... after our first actress had a nervous breakdown the morning of the shoot," McDowell confirmed to Business Insider, tactfully neglecting to mention Minnelli by name.

Richard Melville Hall, better known by his stage name of Moby, isn't the kind of guy one would expect to besiege concert promoters with weird requests. The Smoking Gun obtained a copy of his 1999 rider, and for the most part it appears boringly normal. In fact, the biggest requests are for 30 comp concert tickets for Moby to give to whomever he chooses, insisting on the right for members of his crew to sell Moby merch, and transportation for 11 people. Other items of interest included a big emphasis on no smoking anywhere in Moby's vicinity, as well as a call for inclusion. "There shall be no restriction on admission for reason of sex, race, religion or any other prejudice," read a sentence in the rider with which most people would certainly agree.

One section, however, is something of an eyebrow raiser, an item that he requested backstage: "10 pairs of white cotton crew socks and 10 cotton boxer shorts."

Look, Moby isn't the only artist to have requested a fresh pair of underwear in a rider. As for why he requires so many pairs, however, well, that's probably a matter best left between Moby and his gastroenterologist.

While tales of outrageous backstage demands are typically associated with out-of-control rock stars, it appears that they may have simply been following the template already laid down by old-school entertainers. Case in point: Frank Sinatra, whose rider for his Sinatra 75 tour was unearthed by Forbes, and revealed some pretty extravagant requests.

According to the rider, Ol' Blue Eyes' opening act, Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme, requested only coffee and water in their dressing room. Sinatra, by contrast, had a lengthy list of 37 items required in his dressing room. These included a color TV, an upright piano, and a variety of Lifesavers and cough drops. Sinatra also insisted on some food at the ready, including three cans of Campbell's chicken and rice soup — along with a crock pot which would be used to heat it up — along with a ladle, four soup bowls (porcelain, please), plus an assortment of coffee, tea, and soda, both diet and non-diet varieties. Additional foods included a fruit bowl, cheese tray, two egg-salad sandwiches, two chicken-salad sandwiches, two ham and cheese sandwiches, chips, pretzels, and mini Tootsie rolls.

Sinatra also expected a fully stocked bar backstage, requiring vodka, whiskey, scotch, gin, both white and red wine, and a bottle of Courvoisier cognac — plus a carton of unfiltered Camel cigarettes. According to Tom Brady (not the football player), who unearthed the rider, Sinatra would typically spend all of 20 minutes or so in his dressing room.

John Mayer has enjoyed an enviable career, both on and off the stage. In addition to his Grammy-winning work as a solo artist and his years on the road with Grateful Dead revival Dead & Company, he's also romanced a who's who of female stars, ranging from Taylor Swift to Jessica Simpson and many others.

As it turned out, Mayer's reputation as a legendary Lothario was bolstered by the list of backstage items requested in his 2005 tour rider. According to The Smoking Gun, Mayer was apparently quite focused on maintaining exceptional oral hygiene and minty-fresh breath. Among the stuff listed in the seven-page rider are no less than four toothbrushes, a bottle of Listerine mouthwash, two tubes of toothpaste, and two cans of Altoids breath-freshening mints. Mayer also wanted to ensure his lips were soft and kissable, and required four lip balms — organic, of course.

Mayer's roster of requests also represented some other aspects of his personality, with his intellectual curiosity reflected in his demand for that day's copy of the New York Times. His whimsical side, however, was indulged via his request for a "Kids Brand Cereal." In that respect, Mayer wasn't that particular, with the rider explaining he'd be happy with Cap'n Crunch, Count Chocula, Lucky Charms, Cookie Crisp, or even Cinnamon Toast Crunch. As for his additional request for two tubes of Krazy Glue, The Smoking Gun theorized he would use them to glue together his split fingertips after an evening of guitar virtuosity.

Grace Jones is best known for such 1980s dance hits as "Slave to the Rhythm" and "Pull Up to My Bumper," and her acting roles in films including "Conan the Destroyer" and the James Bond flick "A View to a Kill." As Gawker reported back in 2015, she's also a bit of a handful for promoters when she performs live.

As the outlet noted, Jones included her tour rider at the end of her cheekily titled memoir, "I'll Never Write My Memoirs," and shared an excerpt with readers. Among the amenities Jones expects when touring are the presidential suite of a hotel, a stretch limo (which she can use at her discretion), and a 300 Euro per diem (and an additional 150 Euro for each member of her crew). If that sounds a touch on the extravagant side, that's small potatoes compared to what she demands when it comes to food and drink. Among her requests: six bottles of Louis Roederer Cristal Champagne, three bottles each of red and white "vintage" French wine, along with sushi and sashimi platters ample enough to serve eight people.

Jones is also apparently a fiend for fresh-from-the ocean shellfish. Also included in the rider are two dozen oysters — either Findeclare or Colchester — placed on ice. Thankfully, promoters won't have to worry about opening up those shells; as the rider helpfully pointed out, "Grace does her own shucking."

Prince, who died in 2016, had become nearly as famous for his offstage eccentricities as his music. Those personality quirks were on full display back in 2008 when HuffPost reported on his alleged demands ahead of a concert in London, which included a demand that his suite in the Dorchester Hotel be redesigned entirely in black, from the paint on the walls to the furnishings to the picture frames. When Prince was booked to headline a U.K. music festival in 2011, The Sun (via Tone Deaf) reported that he demanded his dressing room be painted purple, and requested a limo to drive him from the dressing room to the stage — a distance of about 80 feet.

In 2014, reported Bang Showbiz, he insisted there be no stairs in any of his hotel suites, and insisted that any "obstructive rugs" be removed. "Prince's list of demands has been going out to all his hotels in the U.K. before he arrives at them," said an insider. ”His requests all have to be fulfilled or he won't turn up to play.”

Those demands paled in comparison to what he asked for in 2007 when he played O2 Arena in London: a custom-built, five-bedroom mansion in which he could live, constructed within the arena grounds. "He has had some pretty wild nights out in London and loves all that the capital has to offer, so it makes sense for him to have a more permanent base here," a source told the Daily Mail.

Back in 2011, Eminem was tapped to headline the Vital festival in Northern Ireland, significant at the time as it marked his first-ever gig in Northern Ireland. When the "Lose Yourself" rapper's rider was revealed by Contact Music, one specific line item stood out: he demanded a small pond be constructed in the backstage area where he'd be hanging out, with said pond to be stocked with expensive koi fish. Whether that was a serious request or a goof, however, has never really been revealed.

Meanwhile, The Smoking Gun managed to obtain a copy of his 2010 tour rider — and while there was no mention of fish, there were plenty of food items listed, ranging from all the ingredients for a PB&J to loads of jumbo shrimp (with cocktail sauce, of course) to few Lunchables snack packs. Eminem was also looking to do a little pumping up before the show, judging from his request that his dressing room be equipped with 25-lb dumbbells.

Legendary proto punk Iggy Pop has been a rock star since the 1960s, when he fronted The Stooges before becoming a solo act. When The Smoking Gun obtained a copy of the rider from his 2006 reunion tour with The Stooges, it wasn't so much what he asked for, but how. As TSG pointed out, the hefty 18-page rider was written by Jos Grain, one of Pop's roadies, and it is truly a hilarious read. For example, in addition to hilariously detailed instructions on sound-mixing, lighting and stage setup, Grain also offered some offbeat suggestions on how to furnish the dressing room. "You known what would be really nice?" Grain asks. "If you could make this room look less like a typical rock & roll dressing room and more sort of ... Interesting? Are you with me? Just let someone loose with a little bit of artistic flair ... Er, do you know any homosexuals? And am I allowed to say that? Probably not." The rider also requested two industrial-strength fans. "He's practicing that scarf thing that they used to do in Bon Jovi and Heart videos," Grain wrote.

Hands-down the nuttiest thing in the rider is a request for somebody backstage costumed as legendary comedian Bob Hope. "Doing fantastic Bob Hope impersonations and telling all those hilarious Bob Hope jokes about golf and Hollywood and Bing Crosby," Grain added.