The Untold Truth Of David Burtka

To casual fans of actor Neil Patrick Harris, David Burtka is known primarily as the longtime partner of the former "How I Met Your Mother" star. However, those who've taken a closer look at the couple will realize Burtka is far more than just a celebrity spouse. An actor with an extensive roster of stage and screen credits in his own right, Burtka has performed on Broadway, appearing in a 2003 production of "Gypsy," and "It Shoulda Been You" in 2015, in addition to numerous acting roles on television. 

In addition to his acting, Burtka is also a talented, professionally trained chef with a flair for entertaining — so much so that he's parlayed his party-hosting skills into a successful catering business. In fact, as Burtka sees it, entertaining isn't frivolous, it's a necessary part of existence. "Because that's all that life is about — spending it with family and friends and really celebrating the loved ones you have around you," he explained to Serendipity.

Having appeared alongside his husband on numerous red carpets over the years, fans may think they have a pretty good grasp of this multitalented actor and chef. Prepare to find out so much more by reading ahead to discover the untold truth of David Burtka.

By 2006, David Burtka had made several guest-starring appearances on television, with IMDb listing such series as "Crossing Jordan", and "The West Wing." That year, he also booked a role in hit CBS comedy "How I Met Your Mother," playing Scooter, former high school boyfriend of Alyson Hannigan's Lily. 

The role created controversy due to a gossip report in Canada.com. "Nepotism is alive and well in Hollywood," read the item, claiming "HIMYM" star Neil Patrick Harris "got his longtime sweetheart David Burtka, 31, a guest role on his series..." The ensuing PR disaster had less to do with the word "nepotism" than "sweetheart," which implied Burtka and Harris — who at that point had not commented publicly on his sexuality — were gay lovers. Harris' publicist issued a statement, via Towleroad, insisting Harris "[is] not of that persuasion." 

That proved to be a fib. Less than two weeks later, Harris came out in a statement to People. Noting the "speculation and interest in my private life and relationships," Harris continued: "So, rather than ignore those who choose to publish their opinions without actually talking to me, I am happy to dispel any rumors or misconceptions and am quite proud to say that I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest and feel most fortunate to be working with wonderful people in the business I love."

After Neil Patrick Harris came out as openly gay, he and David Burtka brought their relationship into the public eye. In September 2014, Harris revealed via Twitter that the two had tied the knot. 

Throughout their marriage, both spouses became firm believers in the benefits of couples counseling. "Not that there's anything wrong, but it's nice to sort of just talk to someone who is a mediator," Burtka explained in an interview with Life & Style. "That's helped our relationship."

In a subsequent interview with Us Weekly, Burtka and Harris reiterated that attending therapy together had been beneficial for their marriage. "We tend to communicate and talk a lot," said Harris. "I think when you keep things pent up and you exist in, like, a façade, it seems to lead to more problems, so we talk about stuff when we have problems with each other." Burtka agreed wholeheartedly, adding: "We really communicate. We don't keep things bottled up."

Four years before their wedding, David Burtka and Neil Patrick Harris became parents, welcoming twins Harper and Gideon via surrogate. The couple turned to surrogacy, Burtka joked while appearing on "The Wendy Williams Show", because procreating in the traditional manner is "is a lot harder for gay guys, although we tried!" 

In a 2014 interview with Barbara Walters, Harris explained how both he and Burtka were able to be biological parents of their children. "We inserted one of my sperm and one of David's sperm into two eggs, with the hope that they would both take, just because we both wanted to be dads biologically, and both took, miraculously," Harris said. While Harris admitted he saw himself "in each of them at different times," he also insisted he had "no interest" in knowing which child is biologically his, and which is Burtka's.

During his appearance on "The Wendy Williams Show," Burkta shared his suspicions that daughter Harper might be biologically his. "She's like, 'Hey everybody, I'm here!'" Burtka explained while noting that son Gideon was "a little more heady and intellectual," like Harris.

David Burtka may have started as an actor, but he wound up embracing a whole other career. Speaking with Montecristo Magazine, Burtka recalled a period in his life when he was "living in Los Angeles and not really enjoying being an actor, and I thought: 'What makes me happy?'"

What brought him joy, he realized, was cooking, which led him to enroll in the famed Le Cordon Bleu culinary school. "It ended up really taking off for me, mentally, and things started happening in the world of cooking," he said. Burtka went on to work with chefs Mario Batali and Thomas Keller before combining his cooking skills with his gift for throwing amazing parties by launching his own catering company, Gourmet M.D. While Burtka didn't completely set acting aside, he made it clear showbiz was now taking a back seat to his new endeavor. "I'm sort of focusing my world into more cooking and entertaining."

According to Burtka, entertaining and acting aren't that dissimilar. "With acting, you have to know your lines, you have to know your spaces ... and then it's show time and you let it all go," he explained to Serendipity. "That's the same with throwing a party. You need to know your recipes and you've got to be prepared the night before and know what you're doing. And then once the party's happening you kind of let it go and you have to have a good time too."

Having earned a reputation as a talented chef and successful caterer, David Burtka found his niche by melding his acting skills with his culinary abilities. In 2016, he hosted "Life's a Party," a one-off special for Food Network that documented him putting together "a rooftop birthday bash" for pal James Carpinello, with a guest list that included Carpinello's wife, "Angel" star Amy Acker, and "Kelly and Ryan" co-host Kelly Ripa.

That TV special not only reflected Burtka's passion for entertaining, it was also the title of his 2019 cookbook, subtitled "Deliciously Doable Dishes to Make Every Day a Celebration." Writing the book, he shared in an interview with People, was both a labor of love and considerably more effort than he had originally predicted. "I never anticipated writing a book could be so much work but I loved it all," he declared of the cookbook, which features 106 recipes within 16 party themes, divided into four distinct seasons.

He also insisted there was no ghostwriter helping him along behind the scenes, and explained why. "I am a control freak and wanted a piece of everything," he said. "I wrote all of it, tasted the recipes six or seven times, helped with food styling and props, and spent even more time making sure the photographs we used were perfect."

Given his experience as a caterer and party-themed cookbook author, it shouldn't be surprising that David Burtka has some very specific ideas about entertaining. One of his key tips, he revealed in an interview with Among Men, was to ensure that anything that could be done in advance was handled prior to the soiree. "Do your tablescape, polish all your silver and make sure that all of your dishes are clean," he explained. "And, do it all the night before or a couple of days before so you can concentrate on what matters the day of your party."

Burtka also declared himself to be a firm believer in making a to-do list, ensuring that "everything is written down. Every single element," he said. "The most important thing is to know exactly everything that you need to get before the party." In addition, he also advised would-be party-throwers to be realistic about how expansive a bash they could realistically handle. "Make sure you know how much space you have and make sure you know what you're capable of," he added.

Burtka also recommended that hosts enlist their guests to pitch in, which not only lightens the host's load but allows the guest to feel they're part of the process. "One of the first things people do when they come over to someone's house is they say, 'What can I do?' I really think people love to be included," Burtka told Serendipity.

Unbeknownst to fans, David Burtka had been experiencing some serious issues with his spine — serious enough to require surgery. In February 2021, Neil Patrick Harris shared a photo via Instagram of his husband in a hospital bed, wearing a neck brace while "recovering from spinal surgery." The surgery, Harris explained, "was fairly intensive, took over seven hours, but he's in good spirits and doing well."

Harris admitted that waiting for the surgeons to complete their task was "one of the scarier, more hopeless feelings" he'd ever experienced, "hoping for the best, trying not to fear the worst, waiting [on] a call with news." However, the news was ultimately good, with Harris reporting that "all went according to plan."

The following day, Burtka posted the same photo on his Instagram feed and offered his own update to reveal that he had received three spinal fusions. Insisting he was "all good and already recovering," he admitted that the combination of muscle relaxers, opioids and Tylenol were "helping immensely."

During an appearance on a radio show, David Burtka and Neil Patrick Harris were posed a very awkward question — courtesy of the Jonas Brothers. During a joint 2019 visit to SiriusXM's "Hits 1", the couple was informed they were part of a tradition, in which the show's previous guest leaves a question to be answered by the next guest. Nick, Kevin, and Joe Jonas had been the previous interviewees, and left Harris and Burtka the following question: "Where was the naughtiest place you've ever... you know what I mean?"

Harris responded first, admitting he was "so excited" to field a question from the JoBros. "The naughtiest place we've shagged? I would probably say on a train. A European train," he recalled, divulging the encounter took place in one of the train's bathrooms, and "was hot."

Burtka, however, offered a different memory of naughtiness. "My naughtiest place I can remember is that we were on a cliff on the beach in Spain and there were all these boats in the harbor and we were just up there doing our thing," he recounted. "Putting on a show!"

In addition to David Burtka's revelatory appearance in "How I Met Your Mother" alongside future husband Neil Patrick Harris (a role Burtka reprised on the show six times), the two have acted onscreen together on other occasions. According to IMDb, the couple played skewed versions of themselves in "A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas," while Burtka was also featured in his husband's oddball puppet-based series "Neil's Puppet Dreams," and Netflix's "A Series of Unfortunate Events," in which Burtka played Mr. Willums in two episodes. 

Meanwhile, both Burtka and Harris were tapped for the 2015 season of "American Horror Story," subtitled "Freak Show." Interestingly enough, the two never appeared onscreen together, with their characters featured in different episodes. Harris, in fact, appeared in two "AHS" episodes, playing unhinged ventriloquist Chester Creb. Burtka, on the other hand, appeared in just one episode, the season finale. As Bustle recounted, while Burtka didn't receive "a whole lot of screen time," he did play a somewhat pivotal role: Michael Beck, a Hollywood casting exec who wound up marrying the season's protagonist, Jessica Lange's Elsa Mars. 

Becoming parents of twins was a life-defining moment for David Burtka and husband Neil Patrick Harris. As Burtka told Life & Style, his new role as a father allowed him the chance to realize he had as much to learn from his children as he had to teach them. 

"I think for me becoming a father, I think it was so interesting that I always felt like I had to fit into a box, and I always had to be someone that I was not necessarily who I was supposed to be," he explained. "I think the kids — watching the kids grow up as individuals and letting them be who they are meant to be and letting them be who they truly are taught me to embrace who I am and to be grateful for what life has given me."

Parenting youngsters, Harris and Burtka revealed in an interview with The New York Times, had also taught the importance of spontaneity. "There is no consistency to our routine except that we're together and spending quality time with the kids," Burtka said of their typical routine. 

In August 2021, David Burtka and Neil Patrick Harris decided to sell their 8,000-square-foot New York City brownstone. According to The Observer, they purchased the place in 2013 for $3.58 million and spent a year renovating. The couple looked to make a hefty profit of nearly $4 million from the sale, given that they listed the home for $7.33 million. That potential windfall would increase the net worth of both Burtka and Harris, whose respective fortunes are estimated by Celebrity Net Worth to be $3 million, and $50 million (not surprising, considering Harris was reportedly raking in $225,000 per episode for "How I Met Your Mother").

When it comes to how the pair spend their money, one big indulgence is collecting art. As Burtka told The Observer, he had received an entrée into the art world several years earlier but at that time didn't have the financial resources to buy anything. However, he recalled, he "got to see what people were buying, what I responded to." Then he met Harris, who'd just landed his role in "HIMYM" and suddenly had a lot more disposable income than he'd ever had before. Burtka's philosophy, he joked, was "Let's put my eye and your money to good use!"

There is one thing, however, that the actor-chef has a tough time spending money on. "Room service is a hard thing to pay for," he told CNBC.

As any parent of twins can confirm, taking care of two infants simultaneously is a never-ending task. When David Burtka and Neil Patrick Harris welcomed their twins, their lives changed instantly. "The hardest age was I think zero to one," Burkta recalled in an interview "Daddy Squared: The Gay Dad Podcast." "With twins, literally, I still don't even remember. It's a haze ... The lack of sleep is just beyond. You can't function as a human being. I feel like around three is when I started to go, 'I think I start to become a normal person again.'"

This all-encompassing focus on their children left the couple with little time left over for each other, something he admitted led to "strains" in their relationship. It wasn't until the kids hit age seven or so, he revealed, that he and Harris really "started connecting again. Which is a really big deal."

As the children grew, Burkta came to realize that parenthood will inevitably change any relationship, and a couple needs to roll with the punches if they're going to make it long-term. As he explained, "you have to just be open to change and know that things take a different turn."

In 2017, David Burtka revealed he'd decided to make a big lifestyle adjustment by quitting drinking. "That's a big thing and that's recent," Burtka divulged in an interview with the Daily News. 

As for why he chose to step away from the bottle, he offered an explanation. "It just didn't mix well with me anymore," he divulged. "I didn't like the way I was acting and I think it was affecting me and I thought, 'You know what? I owe it to myself. I owe it to my kids, to be there, 100 percent.'"

As he explained, Burtka had come to an uncomfortable realization about himself that led him to take action. "I just think that, I'm not one of those people that can just have one drink or two drinks," he said. Quitting drinking, he admitted, was not something he approached without trepidation, particularly in light of his dual vocations in showbiz and the culinary arts. As part of the entertainment industry, he admitted, "I'm around [booze] all the time and I'm a chef as well, so it's really part of my world."