Jenny McCarthy On Past Abusive Relationship: It Could Have Killed Me

Sometimes it takes going through something horrible to realize just how strong you are.

Jenny McCarthy revealed to E! News that she was once the victim of an abusive relationship. At Schwarzkopf Gliss' "Beautiful by Choice" campaign, the former Playboy model said that the relationship, which lasted four years, could have killed her–though, of course, it started out innocently enough.

"What I thought was gonna be a typical relationship, turned into a relationship that you would never think you would get yourself into. Especially me. I mean, I really consider myself to be pretty strong-willed and confident, even back then," McCarthy, who is known for loudly vocalizing her opinions, explained. "But I did find myself being slowly manipulated into a very, very dark, abusive—verbally abusive—relationship that could have easily killed me."

McCarthy went on to explain that the relationship stripped her of her voice, taking away her own thoughts about herself and replacing them with her boyfriend's opinions. The host described feeling "worthless, disgusting, talentless, ugly, [and] fat," and soon stopped believing that she was even "worthy of being kissed."

However, while it took some time, McCarthy came to realize that she needed to leave the toxic relationship, recognizing that she was responsible for her own life. "It wasn't his job to love me. It was mine," she said, adding, "I chose to be powerful not powerless."

McCarthy, who hosts a Sirius XM radio show, is currently in a committed relationship with former New Kids on the Block star Donnie Wahlberg, 47. The two have been married for more than two years and have a total of three children between them–all from previous marriages.

McCarthy decided to speak out about her dark past at the product launch because Schwarzkopf Gliss' campaign resonated with her and made her realize that there was beauty in her strengths.

"It reminded me that beauty is not just a physical attribute, it's something much more deeper and expands beyond anything on the outside," the 44-year-old actress said. "And I thought about the things that I thought were beautiful and things that I overcame and I wanted to share something that I thought was beautiful, which is self-love."