Britney Spears Admits Heartbreaking Truth About Her Life At Court Hearing

On June 23, Britney Spears spoke in court for the first time since requesting that her father be removed as her conservator. After a delay due to technical difficulties, Spears was given the go-ahead to speak, without interruption, by Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Brenda Penny. Although no one knew what Spears was going to say, she revealed some heartbreaking truths about her life and the heartbreaking struggles that she has faced over the years. 

At the hearing, Spears admitted that she lied when she told the world she was happy in an Instagram Q&A a few weeks ago. "I've lied and told the whole world 'I'm OK and I'm happy.' It's a lie. I thought I just maybe if I said that enough. Because I've been in denial," she said, according to Variety. "I've been in shock. I am traumatized. You know, fake it till you make it." The star continued, "But now I'm telling you the truth, OK? I'm not happy. I can't sleep. I'm so angry it's insane. And I'm depressed. I cry every day." She also went into detail about being put on medication, specifically lithium, and told the court that she wishes she could "sue" her family. "It is my wish and dream for all of this to end. I want my life back," she shared.

What Britney said next was just as heartbreaking. Keep reading for more details.

Britney Spears told Judge Penny that she "did not know" that she could formally petition to end her conservatorship. She went on to say that she "didn't think anyone would believe" her, which is why she hasn't spoken out about how she's been treated. "People would make fun of me or laugh at me and say, 'She's lying, she's got everything, she's Britney Spears,'" she said, according to Variety.

Spears explained that her attorney discouraged her from speaking out, telling her that she couldn't "let the public know" what has happened to her. Spears said that she feels that the conservatorship has been "abusive" and she demanded it to end. "I want to be able to handpick my own lawyer. The main reason why I'm here is because I want to end the conservatorship without being evaluated," Spears told the court, per Variety.

Spears has been under conservatorship since 2008. Throughout the past couple of years, she has been fighting to have her father, Jamie Spears, removed as her conservator. Now, however, she's formally requesting to be free.

When in court on June 23, 2021, Britney Spears shared in the livestreamed courtroom that she had been forced to tour in 2018 and began by saying, "The people who did that to me should not be able to walk away so easily," according to Variety. "I was on tour in 2018," Spears explained. "I was forced to do [it]. My management said if I don't do this tour, I will have to -" Here Spears was interrupted and asked by the judge to speak slower.

She continued, saying that if she refused to tour, her management told her that she'd have to find an attorney. "My own management could sue me if I didn't follow through with the tour," Spears added. "He handed me a sheet of paper as I got off the stage in Vegas and said I had to sign it. It was very threatening and scary. And with the conservatorship, I couldn't even get my own attorney. So out of fear, I went ahead and I did the tour." 

Spears explained how after the tour was over, she was expected to start a new show in Las Vegas but was exhausted. The Las Vegas shows were finally canceled, according to the Las Vegas Sun. But it was during this explanation about Las Vegas that Spears opened up about another heartbreaking truth.

While speaking to the court, Britney Spears explained how she was doing the choreography for the Las Vegas show that she finally got out of. However, before she was allowed to drop the project, Spears explained that she didn't like one dance move, according to Variety. But because of this one change she wanted to make, her manager called her doctor, Dr. Benson, and told him that she wasn't "cooperating" in rehearsals.

"Three days later, after I said no to Vegas, my therapist sat me down in a room and said he had a million phone calls about how I was not cooperating in rehearsals, and I haven't been taking my medication," Spears said. "All this was false — he immediately, the next day, put me on lithium out of nowhere. He took me off my normal meds I've been on for five years."

Spears went on: "And lithium is a very, very strong and completely different medication compared to what I was used to. You can go mentally impaired if you take too much, if you stay on it longer than five months. But he put me on that and I felt drunk. I couldn't even have a conversation with my mom or dad really about anything." According to The Sun, her doctor had six different nurses come to her home to watch her on the new medication that she never "wanted to be on to begin with."