Things Shia LaBeouf Will Be Arrested For Next

Not since Lindsay Lohan has a promising young actor gone so spectacularly and publicly off the rails the way Shia LaBeouf has. LaBeouf was arrested for public intoxication in Austin during Columbus Day Weekend in 2015, and this is just the latest drama surrounding the actor. LaBeouf's meltdown is a bit different than Lohan's, since he's having struggles, spats, and situations outside of the usual Hollywood haunts and he may be executing a masterful performance art plan—of which his mainstream career is the casualty. While LaBeouf was a hot property in the 2000s, starring in the Transformers franchise and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, his once scorching career has cooled significantly. His increasingly weird behavior includes plagiarizing a screenplay and being arrested in New York for using foul language and spitting on an officer while refusing to leave a theater performance, despite being asked to bounce. Here are a few things LaBeouf might be arrested for next...

We suspect LaBeouf's recent public intoxication arrest won't be his last, since he has been spiralling downward for a while and was even seeking treatment for alcohol abuse after his drunken arrest in 2014, according to PEOPLE. When one drinks a lot, one has to pee a lot, too—and bathrooms aren't always easily accessible. It's not tough to imagine the actor relieving himself in public and getting cuffed for exposing himself, even if unintentionally, in the process.

LaBeouf was once one of the most promising actors in Hollywood, with roles in films by the powerhouse likes of Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay. Those roles have since dried up for LaBeouf. Therefore, it's not hard to picture him showing up at a director's house, in character and/or costume, and doing a dry read of a script in order to get attention for a role. Sean Young did it to Tim Burton with Catwoman in the '90s, so it's not an unheard of tactic. LaBeouf is unpredictable and we wouldn't put that past him at this point.

It's hard to imagine LaBeouf taking no for an answer or letting a little thing like an arrest for stalking stop him at this point. After posting bail on the stalking charges, he'd probably return to the director's home or office, uninvited, to try and plead his case again. These unwanted advances could lead to him being arrested for trespassing. Persistence doesn't always pay off. Or does it?

TIME offered a brief history of LaBeouf's biggest repeat offense: plagiarism. It was actually an extensive rundown of his propensity for duplication. According to EW, a writer and a rap act have accused LaBeouf of cribbing their intellectual property; he also plagiarized a magazine article and used it as an apology. It's clearly a problem for him, even if he is trolling us all by doing so. That said, we know that the most famous tendency of history is that it repeats itself. LaBeouf's predilection for copying the work of others may not get him arrested, but it will get his butt sued.

We predict LaBeouf will pull a Joaquin Phoenix and go on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, wearing a big beard and sunglasses, offering one-word answers, and claiming to be leaving his life of plagiarism and acting behind in favor of rap career. It could very well be that LaBeouf's self-sabotage is part of some performance art thing, much like Phoenix's off-the-rails act was faked for a mockumentary. It could lead to him and Phoenix going mano a mano—whether it'll be real or fake remains to be seen—over artistic and thematic plagiarism and thus lead to LaBeouf being arrested for assault. So, yeah, LaBeouf would plagiarize Phoenix. Oh, this is all way too meta for us. Yet it's also entirely possible.

If LaBeouf is going "all in" with this performance art thing, if it is indeed a thing, it wouldn't be shocking if he was picked up for drug trafficking, but only as part of a method acting stunt. Picture him trying to smuggle a nominal supply of drugs in his shoes at the airport and getting caught by a drug-sniffing canine. His legit excuse would be that he was researching a role as a drug smuggler and wanted to really and truly get into character. He would say that he had no choice but to fully immerse himself into the role, and thus commit a crime. The craziest thing is that he'd probably be totally clean, doing it for the headlines or for the part. You just can't tell with him.

LaBeouf has committed crimes against fashion in 2015. Remember that weird, rat-tail braid thing he wore in the spring? How about his Interview cover, with the, oiled up, shirtless shots, showing off his washboard abs? They were the antithesis of sexy. If he brought back both looks and wore them together on the street or in public, the fashion police would issue more than a few citations for fashion indecency.