Everything We Learned From Demi Lovato's Dancing With The Devil Docuseries

The following article includes discussions of sexual assault, drug use, eating disorders, and self-harm.

Demi Lovato is getting very candid with fans in her new docuseries. Premiering on YouTube on March 23, 2021 and directed by Michael D. Ratner, Demi Lovato: Dancing With the Devil details some extremely private moments of Lovato's life, including the star opening up about her near-fatal drug overdose in July 2018 and the ramifications it's had on her life.

The series debuted at the SXSW Film Festival on March 16, 2021, and sees Lovato dig deep on many aspects of her life, from her severe drug addiction to her eating disorder struggles and her relationships. She even candidly admitted that her terrifying overdose wasn't the last time she tried heroin, saying, "I wish I could say the last night that I ever touched heroin was the night of my overdose, but it wasn't." She recalled how she'd returned from a retreat and called her drug dealer. "I ended up getting high. I thought, 'How did I pick up the same drugs that put me in the hospital?' I was mortified at my decisions," she said, per Page Six. Keep reading for more of the most shocking confessions in Lovato's documentary.

Demi Lovato's drug overdose in July 2018 had some major effects on her body. In the documentary series, Lovato revealed that one of the initial scariest side effects was blindness, as she said she was considered "legally blind" when she woke up in the hospital and couldn't even recognize her own sister, actor Madison De La Garza. "She looked me dead in the eye and said 'Who is that?' That's something you never want to hear your sister say," De La Garza recalled, per People. Lovato teared up as she recalled the heart-breaking moment and shared that it was actually "ironic" she couldn't see De La Garza because one of the biggest reasons she wanted to get sober before her overdose was so that she could continue to see her younger sibling. Lovato told The New York Times that it took her around two months to be able to read a book, and she still gets what she described as "sunspots." She no longer drives as a result of her vision issues and said in the documentary that she often misses the glass when pouring a drink.

Lovato further detailed the horrific health problems she experienced as she recalled how she suffered "three strokes" and a heart attack. She added (via People), "I've also had pneumonia because I asphyxiated and multiple organ failure" and revealed the doctors told her she was only five to 10 minutes away from dying.

Demi Lovato bravely opened up about being sexually assaulted in the documentary, sharing that she was raped at 15 years old and was also abused by her drug dealer on the night of her July 2018 overdose. Per People, she remembered being asked when she regained consciousness in the hospital if she'd had consensual sex and initially said yes, but realized a month later that she was in no state to be able to give consent.

Lovato also spoke candidly about being raped when she lost her virginity as a teenager. After describing the disturbing incident in detail (via Variety), she continued, "I had to see this person all the time so I stopped eating and coped in other ways," referring to her struggles with the eating disorder bulimia and self-harm. Lovato said she told adults about the rape, but the person did not get into trouble and was never "taken out of the movie they were in."

Demi Lovato and Max Ehrich enjoyed a very high-profile but short-lived romance in 2020. They got engaged in July 2020, two months after confirming their romance in the music video for Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber's "Stuck With U." However, they called it quits in September 2020 after which it appeared things turned messy between the former couple with Ehrich claiming he found out about their split through the media. "I'm really sad that things ended the way that they did. The good news is, I haven't picked up any hard drugs or anything like that. I'm hanging in there. It's just s***ty," Lovato said of the split in the documentary (via Entertainment Tonight). She added, "The hardest part of the breakup was mourning the person I thought he was."

Speaking of Ehrich's response to their breakup, Lovato admitted she was "just as shocked as the rest of the world at some of the things that were said and done" and also opened up about her sexuality, explaining she felt she was "too queer to marry a man in my life right now" and doesn't want "put a label on it right this second."

Demi Lovato very candidly opened up about the drugs she was taking in the weeks before her July 2018 overdose, sharing that she began trying things she'd never tried before. Per Page Six, she recalled how she went on what she described as a drug "shopping spree" and admitted, "That alone should've killed me." The singer and actress shared how she initially "started using recreationally" but quickly became addicted to heroin. 

Lovato also admitted that she's not completely sober in the wake of her scary July 2018 overdose, though she has turned her back on hard drugs. She said in the YouTube series (via People) that she still sometimes smokes weed and drinks alcohol, sharing that she's learned "that shutting a door on things makes me want to open the door even more." Lovato explained she doesn't believe there's a "one-size-fits-all solution" to sobriety. "Telling myself I can never have a drink or smoke marijuana is setting myself up for failure because I am such a black-and-white thinker," she said. Fortunately, in March 2021, it seems Lovato is doing much better and is working hard to keep her addictions under control.

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse and mental health, please contact SAMHSA's 24-hour National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

If you or someone you know has been the victim of sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit RAINN.org for additional resources.

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, please contact the National Eating Disorder Association's Helpline at 1-800-931-2237 or chat with one of their helpline volunteers on NEDA's website.