The Most Outrageous Facts About Zach Galifianakis' Life

Chances are, if you sat down to have a conversation with almost any famous person, they'd have some pretty fascinating stories and encounters to share, but almost no one could be more bonkers to listen to than Zach Galifianakis. The Hangover star has proved as such time and time again with his off-the-wall tales of his life before he made awkward celeb interviews intentionally hilarious on Between Two Ferns. In light of that, we've gathered some of the most unbelievable facts the actor has shared about his life to ensure that he'll earn prime placement on your celebrity dead-or-alive dinner wish list.

Galifianakis has no trouble scoring sweet screen gigs nowadays, but once upon a time, he was a struggling comedian, just like many of our funny favorites. When he wasn't popping into the stand-up scene to deliver jokes, though, he had a lot of odd jobs that are almost too bizarre to believe. He reportedly used to wait tables at a drag-queen restaurant; he once was an assistant to an events planner who made a move on him; he cleaned houses; he handed out restaurant menus on the street; and his favorite non-acting job, it seems, was that time he was a nanny to some kids. That last bit might be hard to believe (pfft, which of these isn't?), but Galifianakis has indicated that he liked being in child care very much, according to GQ. Maybe it's because kids have a great sense of humor.

Galifianakis has gotten himself into great shape (he's so trim that he's almost unrecognizable in 2016's Masterminds) by backing off of booze, but when he first arrived on the Hollywood scene, he was a little more portly than he is today. Galifianakis, ever the jokester, was the first to make light of his former waist size by giving himself a series of nicknames, like "Marijuana Santa," "Fat Garden Gnome," and "Amber Alert." "When you look like I do, it's hard to get a table for one at Chuck E. Cheese," he joked to The New York Times, adding that the beard and (former) belly eventually became part of his public appeal. "I look like a homeless guy now. People seem to appreciate that."

Galifianakis has admitted to trying to get himself fired from the short-lived drama series Tru Calling by slinging some cruelty at those around him. One thing he did, he told Rolling Stone, was taunt the series' lead actress, Eliza Dushku, by telling her she was eating too much on the set ("eating her way to cancellation," the article explains). He also lashed out at the show's writers by throwing scripts in the garbage and then saying, "Great script, Karen."

This might seem like the behavior one of his array of oddball characters might engage in, but nope, it was all him. He was reportedly so miserable on the show he resorted to playground bullying techniques to earn an ouster. "It was the dumbest show I'd ever seen. I remember calling the executive producer and saying, 'This show is terrible, doesn't make any sense, and it's insulting,'" he told GQ. "They thought it was me being Funny Stand-up Guy." Ah, the price of being funny; even when you're serious, they're still laughing.

Humor like his doesn't happen in a vacuum, so it makes sense that he has some kooky histories to share with the rest of the Galifianakis family, like the way his brother used to torment him as a child with a maneuver that is basically the opposite of the ordinary wedgie. He told New York Times: "My brother was torturous, I guess, but in a funny way. He used to say to me, 'I'm giving you a gag order,' then stuff his dirty underpants into my mouth. He used to drag me stark naked across the lawn, then hold me up by my ankles for the passing cars to see."

Meanwhile, his aunt, he told Jimmy Kimmel, reacted to a screening of one of his most recent projects, the dry comedy TV show Baskets, by telling him, point blank, "Oh yeah I saw that, it's f***ing horrible." Perhaps the most shaping memento from his past is his love of edible marijuana products, which he can attribute, in part, to an ex-girlfriend of his named Watermelon who sold "special" cookies to keep the lights on.

Galifianakis tends to keep himself away from the spotlight, and it's not just because he's not a fan of all that glitters. He also doesn't care to be recognized and approached while out and about. He told Rolling Stone: "I'm terrible about people wanting to take pictures with me. I'm a giant baby about it. They treat you like a cartoon. There's nothing you can do except make light of it."

The exact ways that he makes light of it fit right within his dark humor spectrum, as he'll either deny being himself or make up some morbid avoidance technique like pretending to be on the phone with his parents in the hospital or pretending to be discussing a funeral. Other times, he admits he'll act like the person approaching him is a restaurant server and place his order with them. Classic stuff.

"It's not like I don't want to be gracious or talk to them. But I don't want to be gracious or talk to them!" He cheekily told GQ of his notorious avoidance principle.

Galifianakis' stories of rubbing elbows range from cringe-worthy (like when he insulted Kesha's music) to absolutely horrifying (i.e., the time he and January Jones met and did not get along one bit), but one of the most surprising celebs who he got along swimmingly with is Kanye West. He told The New York Times that West saw him at a 2007 stand-up show and liked what he heard enough to court Galifianakis' jocular talents for one of his music videos—an alternative version for "Can't Tell Me Nothing."

"I was doing a bit about how much I hate celebrity egos, and that seemed to resonate with him, for some reason," Galifianakis explained. "He asked me to do a video for him, and I said yes, with one condition: I just go off by myself and shoot it, and he doesn't get to look at it until it's done ... I wasn't sure what Kanye would think of it, to be honest. But his response was perfect, considering how we'd first met. He said it was the best video he'd ever made."

Galifianakis told The New York Times that when he first came out to pursue his career in show business, he lived in a car—and it wasn't even his own car. What's more is he really didn't even have permission to live in that car, either. "When I first got to L.A., I had a pretty good setup. I convinced a mechanic to let me live in an Audi that was waiting to get fixed," he said. "I'd drive it around for awhile, then it would break down and have to be fixed again, which meant I got to keep it for a little while longer. It was kind of an everybody-wins situation, except for the poor lady who was waiting for her Audi."

A lot of actors in his situation might be affected by the fame and fortune that come with being a sudden household name, but Galifianakis has a very specific approach to not letting his loot rot his brain: he doesn't even pay attention to it. He told Rolling Stone that he's still cruising around town in his 1998 Subaru and only keeps $10,000 of his money in an accessible account at any given time.

What's even crazier is that he really doesn't even pay attention to what he does have in the bigger accounts. "I don't even know how to access my bank account," he said. "My accountant, whom I've had since I started doing open mics, occasionally I'll e-mail him and say, 'Will you tell me what's what?' And he does. It's kind of embarrassing. I'm smart, but I don't know what things mean. There's a lot of business terms—like 'fiduciary'? I don't know. I gotta educate myself more." Since he doesn't use a lot of his dough, he's considering giving it away one day.

Galifianakis and his wife Quinn own a 70-acre farm in North Carolina where he grows fruit and pumpkins and lives (mostly) off the grid. He told GQ that they made the conscious decision to unplug after the Internet made him famous, so now they stay far, far away from the web-o-sphere as a whole. "We put some barriers up. We're too connected, normally. I mean, I can't believe these comics who, like, Twitter their every thought." In fact, he's considered walking away from Hollywood altogether some time soon, and he's vowed to never adopt the hustle-and-bustle ethos of the business, no matter how long he remains in it.

"There's more to life than being an actor in a Hollywood movie," he said. "I'm not going to adapt my life after that existence, where a lot of people do. And they get the publicist, and they get all that stuff, and it becomes them. I think it's a stupid way to live your life. A really dumb way to live your life."