The Truth About The Ridiculously Expensive 2020 Oscar Gift Bags

As if being nominated for an Academy Award isn't a gift in and of itself, every year all of the Oscar nominees in the acting and directing categories are gifted with goodie bags full of high-end products by marketing company Distinctive Assets. While the swag in the bags tends to be far and away out of the price range of most of us ordinary mortals, you would think that anyone who had a hand in making a potentially award-winning movie could probably afford to buy most of the goodies themselves. Still, it's free advertising for the companies supplying the freebies.

So what do the gifts being given out this year look like? Some of the perks are standard rich people stuff like a stay in a Spanish lighthouse-turned-luxury hotel that will usually cost a traveler between $1,300 and $1,800 per night (via Forbes). Other gifts are very on-trend like a $150 gold-plated vape pen and a cannabis edible dessert tasting for eight. 

Additionally, there are also some gifts that you know will come in handy, like $25,000 worth of cosmetic treatments and rejuvenation procedures (lip fillers, chemical peels, etc.) from top Manhattan plastic surgeon Dr. Konstantin Vasyukevich. Another potentially helpful gift? $20,000 worth of matchmaking services. Still, you kind of wonder why a celebrity would even need that one. Are there absolutely no volunteers out there willing to date a poor, loveless Oscar nominee? Still, if there's a theme for Oscars gifts, this year's would seem to be health and wellness.

Considering the fact that the Oscars are Hollywood's biggest night, it's not a stretch to assume that quite a few of the nominees — and especially the winners — celebrate their big night by swigging champagne 'til dawn at various Hollywood after parties. That being said, one of the gifts that nominees receive is an invitation to a different kind of party — a sober dance party known as a Daybreaker (via CNBC). The Daybreaker parties are held in the morning in 28 different cities and are supposed to trigger happy brain chemicals before the working day begins. While tickets usually cost about $30 apiece, the nominees snag two for free. 

Another celeb swag bag item is a $249 intermittent fasting diet plan. While we plebeians can opt to fast for free, this exclusive plan includes bars, crackers, soups, olives, drinks, and supplements as well as instructions telling the dieter to eat each one at a specific time during the day.

While the Oscars seem oh-so glamorous, they also seem oh-so stressful. From trying not to land on the worst dressed list to attempting to avoid a disastrous Oscar moment that will live on forever, there's a lot of pressure to be all but perfect on the big night. For that reason, it's no surprise that the swag bags include multiple items that will help the nominees relax post-show. 

One of the freebies is a Muse wearable electroencephalogram that fits like a headband but provides recordings of guided meditations as well as real-time feedback on breathing and heart rate (via E! News). These retail for $244 plus $47 for a year's worth of access to the meditations.

For the more luxury-loving Oscar nominees, there's always the $105 Hotsy Totsy Haus bath bomb (via USA Today). The outside is made from aloe, Brazilian clay, coconut milk, and hyaluronic acid. Once all those things dissolve, they not only soften the skin but also reveal an additional gift-within-a gift: a "moon-charged" amethyst crystal wrapped in 24 karat gold — casual. 

Just in case Screen Actor's Guild health insurance doesn't cover body composition analysis, the swag bag's got that covered, too. Endocrinologist to the stars Rocio Salas Whelan is offering a $600 health evaluation that will determine the percentage of fat and muscle in the body as well as a full-body performance evaluation with physical and blood tests (via CNBC). This "teaser" gift is well worth giving away if it results in any return customers, however, since a year's worth of follow-up treatments with Dr. Whelan can cost up to $6,000.

Since so many in Hollywood seem to like to have their own personal trainers (even the personal trainers there have their own trainers, we're guessing), celebrity trainer Alex Seletzky is throwing in ten free training sessions per bag. Again, he's probably hoping for repeat customers since he charges around $900 per session. Still, that's an additional $9,000 worth of swag.

The total value of all of the gifts and gift certificates in each swag bag — which range from a 50 cent pack of dark chocolate Milanos to a $78,000 cruise on a luxury yacht – comes to a grand total of $225,000. Whoever says that it's an honor just to be nominated clearly knows about the goodies in the Oscars gift bags.

Considering that 24 bags are given out, that's about $5 million worth of party favors — okay, where do we sign up to be Oscar nominees for next year? While the gift bags at the Oscars are iconic — albeit, sometimes a bit controversial — the company that hands out the freebies also distributes the swag bags at other major award show, according to the Distinctive Assets website. That being said, with plenty of other award shows coming down the pipeline in 2020, there's still time for celebs to snag some pretty cool swag.