Relationship Expert: Hallmark's Alison Sweeney's Marriage 'Evaluations' Could Backfire

Hallmark star Alison Sweeney and her husband, David Sanov, have developed a rather creative way to gauge their marital compatibility. While some celebrities opt for couples therapy or other traditional means of staying connected, Sweeney and Sanov utilize "evaluations." During a 2015 feature with Health, Sweeney detailed their process. "Every year on our anniversary, we have a dinner date and talk about how our relationship is going," she shared. "We kind of give each other a job evaluation, which sounds a little embarrassing! We talk about our three favorite things about the other person and then three things that we could work on," she continued.

With nearly a quarter-century of marriage under their belt, they've clearly figured out what works for their relationship. However, Samantha Burns, LMHC, couples therapist and dating coach, exclusively spoke with Nicki Swift and warned that evaluations of this nature have the potential to cause trouble within relationships. "The biggest pitfall in these intentional relationship conversations is to only focus on the negative," she explained. Fortunately, there is a way to navigate these exchanges and yield positive results. "Praise, compliments and expressing gratitude are a must!" she continued. "Try a compliment sandwich, where you start off with something you appreciate that your partner did or is working on improving, then identify one frustration or concern, and wrap up the discussion on a positive note with expressions of love." But that's only the beginning of Burns' advice!

According to Samantha Burns, LMHC, couples therapist and dating coach, the presence of conflict in a relationship doesn't necessarily speak to its health. The way the couple approaches said conflict is key. "The best relationships are the ones in which both partners turn toward each other to work through them," she explained. "Communication, active listening, validation and empathy are all essential ingredients to a happy relationship." For her clients, Burns recommends "'state of the union conversations, in which they can talk about what's going well, anything that's been bothering them or what needs to be improved, and an action plan to work on things." By holding space to reflect on their relationship, couples can "prevent resentment, which can lead to a breakup or divorce, from building." She continued, "Prioritizing communication and checking in is an important way to strengthen your connection and increase relationship satisfaction."

Burns also shared that the way Alison Sweeney and David Sanov conduct their check-ins and keep communication open could be something that other couples could benefit from. "Both little and big grievances can build up over time if you're not communicating, causing disconnection," explained Burns. "Your partner can't read your mind, so it's your responsibility to express your feelings, needs, and desires." However, it may not be best to schedule the conversations around anniversaries or even monthly dates, as it's better to address things as they come. "Get comfortable asking for what you want or need, let your partner know if they've hurt you, and most importantly aim to give your partner verbal affirmations, expressions of gratitude, and love every day," she added.