Obvious Red Flags In Nicole Kidman & Keith Urban's Marriage

Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman might be relationship goals, but behind the scenes, the couple's marriage has its share of problems. During a 2015 appearance on "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon," Kidman shocked the audience after confessing to previously having a crush on Jimmy Fallon when a mutual friend first introduced them. "I just remember I liked you," Kidman explained to Fallon. "So Rick, our mutual friend, says, 'Oh, Jimmy wants to meet you, and you can go over to his apartment,' and I'm single, and I'm like okay." While the audience found the confession amusing, we can't help but think of it as a little odd.

For Kidman and Urban, however, instances like this seem far from unusual. In September 2024, the "Being the Ricardos" star hinted at flaws in her union to Urban after sharing her thoughts on the unrealistic concept of a "perfect marriage." "I don't think anyone's the perfect anything," she told the Associated Press during a red carpet interview. "I think you're heading for trouble if you consider yourself the perfect couple ... I'm not a believer in perfect." Between confessing a former crush and acknowledging that their relationship isn't without its flaws, Urban and Kidman's dynamic definitely raises eyebrows. But those are not all the red flags that spell doom in their marriage.

They have the cutest love story now, but Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban's relationship did not start out particularly well. The pair first met at a G'Day USA gala in 2005, but it wasn't until months later that Urban reached out to Kidman despite having her number. "I remember thinking I had such a crush on him and he wasn't interested in me. He didn't call me for four months," Kidman revealed during an appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show (via People). Urban's silence, however, was, in fact, not for a lack of interest, as he later revealed.

While paying tribute to Kidman at the 2024 AFI Life Achievement Award Gala, Urban recounted the first time they met, admitting he had been a little starstruck. "I was trying to play it cool, but inside, I felt like I'd snuck into the royal ball simply because Nic had such a truly otherworldly aura about her," he gushed. "I felt a bit like I was meeting a real-life princess."

In his heartwarming speech, the country singer also admitted to initially going radio silent on Kidman because he believed she was out of his league. "I might have been, at the time, all sorts of delusional thinking, even I couldn't stretch that to think that this extraordinary woman would ever see anything in a guy like me," he shared. Urban, however, eventually called Kidman, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Four months into their marriage, Keith Urban faced a significant challenge. The country singer, who had long battled with substance abuse, suffered a relapse, leading to an intervention from his wife and loved ones. "It was really a profound moment in so many ways," Urban told Oprah Winfrey of Kidman's decision to step in. "Then, the way in which Nic handled that moment was just perfect. Everything was just designed, I believe, for that moment to fuse us together."

The "Blue Ain't Your Color" singer would later check himself into a rehab center, expressing in a public statement that he regretted hurting his loved ones. "One can never let one's guard down on recovery, and I'm afraid that I have," the statement read (via CBS News). "With the strength and unwavering support I am blessed to have from my wife, family, and friends, I am determined and resolved to a positive outcome," Urban added.

In the years since then, Urban has continued to open up about his time in rehab and the fears he had about how it would affect his then-four-month-old-marriage. "I caused the implosion of my fresh marriage. It survived, but it's a miracle it did," Urban explained in a 2016 interview with Rolling Stone. In his 2024 AFI Life Achievement Award Gala speech, Urban praised Kidman for sticking with him through his relapse and fighting for their marriage. "If you want to see what love in action really looks like, give that a whirl," he shared in the tribute. 

During a December 2009 interview, Nicole Kidman confessed to destroying her journals after getting married to Keith Urban. "If you know what is going on inside somebody's head all the time that's not a good place," Kidman said, explaining her rationale to British GQ (via People). "You can't read somebody's diary. You shouldn't read it." Though there was no mention of what was in the journals, it is not far-fetched to assume they contained details of her relationship with Tom Cruise, whom she was married to for 11 years between 1990 and 2001. 

And while there was no direct mention of Cruise, Kidman opened up about what her love life looked like before meeting Urban. "My life has been about exploring types of love. I've explored obsession, I've explored loss, and love in terms of being in a grief-stricken place, I've explored strange sexual fetish stuff, I've explored the mundane aspect of marriage, and monogamy," she shared. In contrast, Kidman described her life with Urban as a fresh journey characterized by true partnership and a lot of adventure. "[W]e're very together. It's a very adventurous, extraordinary place to be: incredibly raw, incredibly dangerous and you're very much out at sea," she said of her marriage to the country singer.

In 2018, Keith Urban released "Gemini," a track off his 10th studio album "Graffiti U." In the song, Urban hinted at details of his sex life with Kidman singing: "She's a maniac in the bed/but a brainiac in her head." In an interview with Entertainment Tonight, Urban opened up about the process involved in making "Gemini," sharing that he wrote the song on a whim. "Everything is very spontaneous when I create. Rarely do I have a set idea," he revealed. But while "Gemini" might have given fans a glimpse into the couple's intimate moments, Urban admitted that he sometimes still struggles to put his feelings for Kidman into words. "It's very much in the music I do. The music speaks way more," he told the outlet. 

But while some might have viewed Urban's gesture as romantic, Kidman, on her part, admitted to feeling a little flushed by the lyric. "It is embarrassing but at the same time, yes, it's better than saying, 'God, I'm so bored ... Make an effort, Nicole," she quipped during an appearance on "The Kyle & Jackie O Show." Regardless, however, Kidman, who says she has no interest in policing her husband's work, encourages Urban to pursue his creative freedom and artistic expression. "I don't censor his art if I can be a muse for it," she shared.

In 2005, Keith Urban's longtime ex-girlfriend Laura Sigler shared her skepticism about the country singer's budding romance with Nicole Kidman, predicting it would be short-lived. "Nicole and Keith might date for a while — but it won't last very long. I don't know her but I know him very well," Sigler declared at the time (via Today). Similarly, Gary Shaw, Urban's former manager, expressed doubts about the couple's chance at success. "I'll be very surprised if the relationship lasts," Shaw explained, suggesting that Urban was merely thrilled by "the chase."

Despite these early doubts, Kidman and Urban have gone on to enjoy a lasting, blissful marriage. The couple's days of public scrutiny or unpleasant predictions are, however, not over. In 2018, tabloid rumors of a potential divorce swirled after Life & Style published a report alleging that Kidman and Urban's marriage was nearing the end, with the couple living separate lives. "Nicole tried to put a ban on Keith spending time with John [Mayer] because she's convinced he's a bad influence on her husband," an insider reportedly added. The couple, however, never addressed these rumors directly and have instead, continued to put up a united front over the years.

But while Kidman and Urban appear to be unfazed by the speculation, their kids have been most impacted. "When you have kids it changes," Urban explained in an interview with Entertainment Tonight. "That's really hurtful to kids because they don't quite understand."

In December 2015, Keith Urban faced a tragic loss when his father, Robert Urban, died at the age of 73. "His long battle with cancer is now over, and he is finally at peace," Urban shared in a heartfelt statement to People. "My dad's love of country music and America set me on my life's journey and shaped so much of who I am today." Deeply moved by his grief, Nicole Kidman was reportedly "heartbroken" for her husband, as reported by sources close to the couple. "All she wants to do is hug him and hold him and tell him everything will be okay," the insider added, per Closer Weekly. 

Surprisingly, however, Nicole was unable to attend Robert's funeral in Australia as she was caught up in America with the filming of an independent movie, which was heavily dependent on her. "She is committed to her work. Keith loves that about her. He is very forgiving," another source told Closer Weekly. But while Urban was understanding of Nicole's busy schedule, some other alleged insiders implied that the country singer would have liked a little more support from his wife. Regardless, just a year earlier, Kidman lost her father, Dr. Anthony Kidman, and Urban proved to be a powerful support system, even going as far as performing an acoustic version of "Amazing Grace" at the funeral, per People. "Keith was amazing, he organized everything on the day with [Nicole's sister] Antonia's husband, Craig," a source told People at the time, underscoring Urban's devotion to his wife.

He might be head over heels in love with his wife, but even as a devoted husband, Keith Urban sometimes needs time away. In an October 2020 interview, Nicole Kidman opened up about Urban's occasional need to be away from his family, which largely consists of women. "At times, he just needs to escape with his guitar. Sometimes I'll find him in his closet playing guitar. That's when I know we really need to give him space," she explained to Marie Claire Australia. "Oh, and he googles cars. I'll know when he's stressed 'cause he's googling cars."

Urban had previously shared a glimpse into his life as the only man in a house filled with girls. During a 2014 "Live with Kelly & Michael" appearance, the country singer opened up about how chaotic things sometimes get in their family. "Our house is very animated anyway. It's an artists' house, so yelling and singing and dancing and music ... Everything is very dramatic," Urban explained on the show (via Just Jared). "I'm in a house full of girls. It's all dramatic. It's all drama. It's all drama ... But I fit right in, which is bizarre."

However, there is nothing Urban loves more than being a dad to his two daughters, Sunday Rose and Faith Margaret. "It's an incredible feeling," he shared during a 2018 interview with ABC News. "And having girls — I love having girls. You know, I come from a family with no sisters, one brother. So, it's been quite the learning curve in a really good way."

Times might have changed, but Nicole Kidman apparently prefers to keep things traditional. In a 2018 interview with Parade, Kidman shared her approach to living a stress-free life, revealing that she avoids texting on her phone. Interestingly, not even Keith Urban gets a free pass. "We call. And that's 12 years of marriage. We have our 12-year wedding anniversary tomorrow (June 25) and we've never texted," she told the outlet. "The reason it started at the beginning was because I didn't know how to text [laughs] and it just kind of worked for us." According to Kidman, the couple has found phone calls to be the most effective and personal means of communication because it helps them avoid miscommunication often caused by texting.

During a July 2023 appearance on the "Something to Talk About" podcast, Kidman expanded on the couple's "no-text" policy, revealing that she implemented it in their earliest days as a couple. "We started out that way — I was like, 'If you want to get a hold of me, call me," she explained. Despite Kidman's clear warning, however, Urban ended up texting a few times but was met with no response. The country singer eventually got with the program and has since become an avid caller like his wife.

As his biggest fan, Nicole Kidman does not hold back in showing support for her husband. For instance, after Keith Urban won the Entertainer of the Year award at the 2018 CMAs, Kidman took to Instagram, sharing a heartwarming post to celebrate the win. "What a night! We were so shocked. Congratulations baby," she captioned. Despite being his biggest supporter, Kidman's busy schedule means she is not always available to cheer Urban on for his big moments.

At the 2022 CMA Awards, Urban flew solo on the red carpet, where he explained that Kidman was filming the Paramount+ show, "Lioness," where she doubled as a cast member and co-producer. "We weren't quite expecting this to happen, but film schedules are unpredictable," Urban told E! News before adding that the actress was disappointed to miss the award show. Similarly, in 2024, Kidman was noticeably absent at the CMT Awards where Urban debuted his new song "Straight Line." 

Back in 2019, Urban yet again attended the CMT Awards alone while Kidman filmed in New York. Regardless, Urban was sure to send an adorable shoutout to his wife while receiving his Collaborative Video of the Year award. "My wife, Nicole Mary. I wish you were here baby girl. I miss you," he added in his speech (via Country Living).