Barack Obama Held Back His 'Crazy' Side When Malia And Sasha Began Dating

Former president Barack Obama stayed very cool when his daughters, Sasha Obama and Malia Obama, started dating.

Although Malia and Sasha, who are both well into their 20s, are probably steering their own dating ships these days, the former first daughters experienced their teenaged milestones during Barack's presidential tenure — which means their parents, including former first lady Michelle Obama, addressed their parenting strategy (or lack thereof) with the press. In 2014, for example, the couple hadn't put much thought into their daughters joining the dating scene. "You know Barack and I strive to make sure that Malia and Sasha can lead as normal of a life as possible," Michelle shared with Ryan Seacrest (via UPI). "I don't know what his strategy is. We haven't really talked about it. So we'll cross that bridge."

In the decade since, Malia and Sasha have been involved in several private, yet kinda public, romances, so their parents have definitely had plenty of time to catch up. Fortunately, while promoting her book "The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times" in 2022, Michelle revealed to Robin Roberts that Barack never actually employed any drastic measures after his daughters started dating and was actually "good with it" (via ABC News). "Look, they are 24 and 21. They were in high school. They went to prom. They've lived life. And he's learned how to be a concerned Black father, but not crazy." Nicki Swift reached out to Dr. Kim Van Dusen, licensed marriage and family therapist and registered play therapist, and she explained why Barack's reaction to his daughters dating was spot on.

Dr. Kim Van Dusen, who also hosts "The Parentologist Podcast," told us parents achieve more favorable results by responding to their teens' dating milestones "calmly and respectfully" — just like Barack Obama seemingly did with Sasha Obama and Malia Obama. But the groundwork, including "growing a positive connection, thriving in trust, safety, and communication, and establishing respectful and healthy boundaries," starts before kids hit the dating stage. "Then, once a child becomes a teen, the foundation has been set, and there is mutual trust and respect with one another, an open door policy for communication, and a secure attachment for this life stage."

For parents who find themselves in the same situation as Barack, there is a way to broach the topic of dating without pushing their kids away. "Parents can express their beliefs, thoughts, and opinions with their teen in a calm, non-threatening and non-judgmental way and also allow their kids to have a voice and varying perspectives as well," shared Van Dusen. Also? Listening is more important than talking during the dating stage, just as brief chats are more effective than "long lectures." Van Dusen explained, "When kids have a strong foundation for their family's values from a young age, they are more apt to make positive choices and healthy decisions." And while she acknowledged, "This life stage isn't always easy," she added, "It's about parents trusting the process and not overparenting or overreacting to their teen when a problem occurs."

Basically, Barack did everything right, though it was probably easy for him to stay cool. While speaking with ABC News in 2016, he joked there was "only so much these guys could do" because of Secret Service. And while Sasha and Malia no longer have Secret Service protection, it gave him comfort during their crucial teen years.