The Disastrous Haircut JD Vance Should Never Get Again

One of the most awkward moments during the 2024 presidential campaign came when JD Vance debuted a disastrous new haircut. While visiting Holt's Sweet Shop in Valdosta, Georgia, in August 2024, Vance made uncomfortable small talk with the people working behind the shop counter as he struggled to choose which type of donuts to purchase. That social guffaw was nothing compared to the blunder that sat atop his head. The worst part of this train wreck of a haircut was at the back of his head, as he appeared to have an undercut. There were loose strands that were not blended and hung haphazardly. At a glance, the unblended mishap looked similar to what happens when a toddler decides to cut their own bangs, but this was the back.

When footage of Vance's bakery visit started making the rounds, people began screenshotting his hair, and he was mercilessly trolled on X, formerly Twitter. "Surprised we haven't talked more about jd vance's psychotic haircut," one user wrote. "It looks like something they do to punish u in Medieval Times," another added about the befuddling look. Hairstylist Kevin Baker spoke to Esquire about Vance's seemingly rushed haircut. "It looks like someone just plopped a toupee on top of his head," Baker said at the time.

A couple of months later, Vance's uncomfortable visit to Holt's Sweet Shop was parodied on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" in October. Haley Joel Osment came on to play Vance for a pre-taped sketch that skewered his inability to connect with the people at the bakery. The sketch also poked fun at Vance for his apparent use of eyeliner, which had been a point of discussion both before and after his PR-nightmare bakery visit.

JD Vance didn't just get clowned for his questionable haircut — users on X couldn't help but speculate about the dark lines around his eyes. "Has anyone asked JD Vance when he started using eyeliner?" one X user tweeted. Even though there have been several strange theories about JD's eyeliner, his wife, Usha Vance, tried to dispel those rumors. "They're all natural. I've always been jealous of those lashes," Usha told Puck News through a rep. Multiple X users pointed out that Usha's comment was about her husband's eyelashes, which was not the specific area people thought makeup had been applied to. "So, no mascara. Still waiting for yes or no on the eyeliner," a person replied.

JD's appearance was on everybody's lips when Donald Trump announced him as his running mate in July 2024, but it was not because of his hair or rumored use of makeup. JD had caused a stir simply because he had a beard. It was rare for a high-ranking politician in the U.S. to sport facial hair. How rare? Since Vice President Charles Curtis in 1933, no president or vice president had facial hair prior to Vance, according to the New York Post.

In fact, the beard on JD's face was believed to be more controversial than any of the other whispers about his appearance. A report surfaced in July claiming that Trump would not tap the senator as his VP because of the beard. Trump was asked about that rumor on Fox News Radio at the time. "Never heard that one. He looks good. Looks like a young Abraham Lincoln," Trump said about JD's beard [via Mediaite].