The Tragic Truth About Cher's Son Chaz Bono

Cher has built a lasting legacy that will stand the test of time. The iconic singer first broke into the spotlight in the mid-'50s as one-half of the beloved music duo Sonny & Cher. Since then, Cher has enjoyed a highly successful career, boasting several awards across the music and film industry. Despite the glitz and the glam of stardom, however, Cher finds the most bliss in the simple things of life — like motherhood. "I really like being a mother," she gushed in a 2017 interview with Closer Weekly. "I've got children that are absolutely the best thing in the world."

The "Take Me Home" singer first became a mother in March 1969, when she welcomed son Chaz Bono with her then-partner Sonny Bono. Seven years later, Cher expanded her family when she gave birth to son Elijah Blue Allman with her second husband Gregg Allman. Over the years, Cher has been open about her tight-knit relationship with her kids, particularly Chaz, whom she referred to as her "best friend" shortly after his birth. "[He] never did a thing wrong. Never, it was unbelievable. It was just who [he] was," she shared in an interview (via People).

But while Chaz might have been an angel growing up, the universe presented its own set of unique challenges, leaving him with one too many tragic events to handle.

In 1990, Chaz Bono went through a traumatic experience after he was outed as gay by a magazine called Star. " At the time, it was the most difficult thing that had happened to me," Bono admitted in a 1998 interview with Vanity Fair. "I think any gay person knows what it feels like. You can imagine what it's like when the whole world finds out before you're ready. It was very overwhelming, but I have gotten over it."

At the time, LGBTQ+ rights were not mainstream, meaning people and the media were not as receptive to the idea of someone being gay. Bono was subsequently subjected to public scrutiny, with many questioning his sexual orientation. "The climate is completely different now than it was five, six, seven, eight years ago for people coming out," Bono shared in an interview with Orlando Sentinel. "And the portrayal of gay and lesbian people in the media has changed so drastically."

In his earliest years, Chaz Bono enjoyed a loving relationship with his father Sonny Bono. So much so that when at 18, Chaz, a self-proclaimed tomboy at the time, came out as a lesbian to his parents, he had his father's support. "It was easy for him because I was like a son, and so I wanted to do all the things that he wanted to do, and we played sports and roughhoused in the pool and all of that," he shared in an interview with Oprah.

The relationship between the two, however, eventually fell apart as Chaz grew older. After publicly coming out, Chaz, embraced gay activism, becoming a spokesperson for the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) and striking a cover photo for LGBTQ magazine The Advocate in 1995. His activism was, however, met with resistance from Sonny who was serving as a Republican congressman at the time. Despite the conservative beliefs of the Republicans, Chaz was devastated to learn that his father supported the Defense of Marriage Act, which outlawed gay marriages. "I took it very personally. It put a tremendous amount of distance between us, and then he died before we were able to resolve it," he shared in a conversation with The Advocate (via CBS News).

Sadly, the duo never got the chance to reconcile as they were still estranged at the time of Sonny's death in 1998, leaving Chaz with a pang of regret. "We both wussed out when it came to confronting these issues. Now I feel like s– about it, although I've come to peace with it," he admitted to SFGate in October 1998.

In January 1998, while on a family vacation with his wife, Mary Whitaker, and their two kids, Sonny Bono suffered a fatal skiing accident. "They were enjoying a family vacation. He was a very proficient skier. He skied frequently with his family and, yes, he was an athletic guy — he skied and played tennis," Sonny's spokesperson Frank Cullen Jr. said in a statement to CNN (via Internet Archive Wayback Machine). Commenting on his father's death at the time, Chaz Bono described Sonny as a "loving father" who was "very supportive of my personal life and career." 

As the world struggled to come to terms with the loss, Chaz struggled even more given that the two had neither seen nor spoken with each other since their falling out. "It was extremely hard on Chaz. You've probably read that Chaz and Sonny were estranged over politics at the time. That's the lesson everyone needs to heed, this not-to-speak-to-each-other over a silly difference. I think it's much harder on Chaz because of that,"  Sonny's widow told the Reno Gazette-Journal in 2017.

In an October 1998 interview with CNN (via Internet Archive Wayback Machine), Chaz hinted at regretting his estrangement from Sonny. In the interview, he asserted his decision to keep his political views from interfering with his familial relationships. "We talk politics a lot in my family, but I don't want to make the same mistake I made with my father," he explained, adding that he tries to keep the two "very separate."

A few years after coming out as a lesbian to his parents, Chaz Bono struck up a romantic relationship with Joan Stephens, his former nanny and a longtime friend of his mom's. "Joan had served as a babysitter for her two children, Chastity [Chaz's birth name] and Elijah Blue. Years later, a lesbian love affair between Chastity and Joan bloomed – and they moved in together," a source told the National Enquirer in 2015 (via Internet Archive Wayback Machine). At the time of their relationship, Stephens was in her 40s while Bono was in his 20s. Despite the pair's unlikely love story, however, in Stephens, Bono found a love he had always sought. In his 2002 memoir, Bono lovingly credited Stephens for encouraging him to stay true to himself. 

Tragedy struck for the couple when Stephens was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma shortly into their relationship. Bono subsequently became Stephens' self-appointed caregiver — a decision that eventually became unbearable for him. "I had so many dark and difficult images of Joan in my mind — Joan with sores everywhere, urinating and defecating on herself, acting crazy," he wrote in his 2002 memoir "The End of Innocence."

Sadly, in 1994, Stephens died of the illness, leaving him incredibly devastated. "It was a horribly bleak time," an insider told The National Enquirer of the intensity of Bono's grief (via Internet Archive Wayback Machine). 

Despite her longtime advocacy for the LGBTQ+ community, Cher struggled to accept Chaz Bono after his coming out as transgender in 2009. "It's hard because when she was young, she was just like the cutest girl, and I made clothes for her," Cher shared in an interview with Oprah. "She was just my little girl. And then later I thought, 'She's just a real tomboy.'" It was, however, not Bono's transition that scared Cher, but the thought of losing the child she had always known. "It's hard to lose one child to get a new one, especially so late," the "I Got You Babe" singer admitted to the Los Angeles Times (via Internet Archive Wayback Machine).

While Cher attempted to come to terms with the transition, the mother-son duo went months without speaking, leaving the singer greatly disturbed. "I was so nervous. Like I hadn't seen her and hadn't seen her, and I was putting it off," Cher shared in the interview with Oprah. After persuasion from her boyfriend, however, Cher reached out to him for a reconciliation. "My boyfriend finally said, 'This is crazy. Just do it. You've got to do it.' And I said, 'But I'm so terrified. What will happen? If I don't recognize her, what will happen?'" she explained.

Despite the initial rough patch, however, Cher couldn't be happier to see Chaz living his truth. "He's so unbelievably happy," she gushed in an interview with CNN. 

After coming out as transgender, Chaz Bono faced public scrutiny from the public and the press alike. In 2011, he fell victim to online bullying when The National Enquirer published an article predicting that Chaz would die in four years. In the article, titled "Chaz Bono: Only 4 Years to Live! Liver Damage Agony," the National Enquirer suggested that Chaz's gender-affirming surgery would negatively impact his health and consequently shorten his lifespan. Patrick Wanis, a "transgender specialist" interviewed by the publication, predicted that Chaz's weight gain and testosterone treatment would affect his liver and cause fatal damage. 

The unverified claims were, however, immediately shut down by Bono's team, with his lawyer describing it as defamation of character and demanding a retraction. "This is absolutely outrageous, false, fabricated, and highly defamatory," Bono's lawyer Dina LaPolt wrote in a cease and desist letter, per E! News. "The salacious and inflammatory headline and article were crafted for the malicious purpose of discriminating against our client's gender and sexual orientation."

But this was not Bono's last encounter with the infamous publication. The following year, he was in the news again after the National Enquirer published an article claiming that he had a falling out with his mom over his girlfriend at the time, Jennifer Elia. Yet again, Bono was quick to debunk the rumor. "I've gotten a lot of tweets about some story in the Enquirer. Everything they've ever written about me has been a complete fabrication," he clarified on X (formerly known as Twitter).

In 2005, Chaz Bono started dating Jennifer Elia, whom he met through a mutual friend. At the time, Bono still identified as a lesbian. During the course of the relationship, the couple went through several changes, with Bono coming out as transgender in 2009 and subsequently undergoing gender-affirming surgery. Expectedly, Bono's transition put a strain on the couple's relationship, with Elia admitting to suffering a substance abuse relapse during that period. "There was a rough patch for sure. I felt that his machismo had sort of spiked, he was quicker-tempered, and coupled with the fact that I was in grad school, writing a 150-page thesis, and had relapsed on alcohol ... things got very tense," she shared in a conversation with the Daily Beast. Still, Elia asserted that nothing would change between them, described their relationship as "the most stable, healthy relationship I've ever been in."

It was, therefore, a big surprise when in December 2011, the couple called it quits, only a few months after getting engaged. "They leave this relationship with great love, respect, and affection toward one another," Bono's rep shared in a statement at the time, per HuffPost. But while the breakup might have shocked the public, their loved ones saw it coming, with one friend telling HuffPost that Bono's transition might have contributed to the split. "Relationships are not easy. Add on top of that, when this couple started this relationship they were both women — and now one is a man," the friend shared.

Chaz Bono struggled with addiction for many years. Following the death of his father, Chaz turned to prescription pills to cope with his intense grief, eventually leading to a drug addiction problem. Bono's struggle with drugs was, however not isolated. His father, Sonny Bono, also had a prescription drug addiction. "It's weird because both of my children had the same drug problems as their fathers —same drug of choice," Cher shared in her interview with Vanity Fair, adding that there was also a long history of substance abuse from her family. "My father was a heroin addict, and my sister's father was an alcoholic."

Not only did the drugs have an effect on Chaz's mental health, but they also impacted his physical health, causing him to gain a lot of weight. "Those drugs wreak havoc on the pituitary gland, and that upsets the body's hormonal harmony, which impacts your weight. Those are the issues we had to go in and fix with Chaz," endocrinologist and hormone specialist Dr. Eva Cwynar explained to the Daily Beast in 2013. 

Eventually, Bono decided to turn his life around, choosing to enroll in therapy in his quest to live his truth as a transgender man. "Getting sober was like the first step towards anything because you can't do anything when you're in that state," he shared with Oprah. "It was growing up and getting the clarity that my needs need to come first."

After coming out as a transgender man, Chaz Bono faced backlash from fans and, worse of all, public transphobia. Particularly, in 2011, after it was announced that Bono would be a contestant on Season 13 of "Dancing With the Stars," social media users criticized the show for casting an openly transgender man and accused them of promoting homosexuality. "I do not hate Chaz as a person. I just resent the media shoving so much of anyone's personal life choices down our throats. I guess due to ABC's choices, I will kiss this show goodbye too," one person wrote (via The Hollywood Reporter). "This show has completely lost a viewer(s). I am DISGUSTED that you would have Chaz Bono on there," another person wrote. 

Show producer Conrad Green, however, responded to the accusations, defending the network's decision to cast Bono. "What we try to do is reflect a broad range of the entertainment world in the casting of the show, and we're always trying to find new things that people haven't seen, new types of stories and that's what we've been doing this season," he shared in a statement to The Hollywood Reporter.

Cher also rose to her son's defense, praising his courage and encouraging her followers to follow his journey on the show. "Bet VAST MAJORITY of People will LOVE CHAZ on DWTS... [he] isn't exactly the "Gotta Dance Gotta Dance" kinda guy," she wrote on X.

Amid his many struggles, Chaz Bono has also faced his fair share of family drama in his many struggles. In January 2024, Bono was accused of being abusive towards Elijah Blue, his half-brother whom Cher shared with the late singer Gregg Allman. "I have witnessed and experienced abusive behavior coming mostly from Elijah's mother —the petitioner herein but also from his siblings- Chaz and Devon," Elijah Blue's wife Marieangela King said in a filing to the court, per Radar Online. At the time, Cher and Elijah were in the middle of a legal battle that stemmed from the famous singer asking to be appointed conservator of her youngest son due to his struggle with substance abuse. Elijah and his wife subsequently contested Cher's request, instead asking that she be deposed alongside her personal assistant, Jennifer Ruiz.

Though not much is known about the pair's relationship, Elijah Blue previously hinted at his bond with Bono, noting that they grew apart after years of being close. "I think what happened was Chaz went off to a performing arts school back east and I went off back east as well, later to prep school, and so from there we kind of took different paths," he explained in a 2014 interview with Entertainment Tonight.