We Wanted To See JD Vance With Trump's Hair, So We Made It Happen (& It's A Doozy)

There was so much diversity in the Republican party's 2024 presidential ticket: They had the blond-haired, blue-eyed guy on top, and the dark-haired, blue-eyed guy playing second fiddle. But what if JD Vance's weird haircut were replaced with a replica of Donald Trump's hinky helmet of deep-fried, flaxen fibers? Would the American public have still supported a ticket that would have provided them with endless "Two blondes walk into a bar" joke fodder?

In Vance's case, it couldn't hurt to try something different. Trump gets a lot of grief for having a hairstyle that looks like it takes a monumental amount of time and effort to arrange into its signature swoop, but Vance has taken the art of the dubious hairstyle to a new level. If he asked his Democratic rival in the veepstakes, Tim Walz, to trim the back of his hair with his favorite garden shears, the result would be the same as whatever was going on with Vance's haircut during the election season. Maybe he was just trying to connect with common folk by rocking a DIY-style 'do. However, there are better ways to do this, such as encouraging Americans to make their gutters great again, as Walz did on SubwayTakes.

With acclaimed "Poolboy: Drowning Out the Fury" star Kevin Sorbo questioning whether Vance should be replaced by Robert F. Kennedy Jr. at the time, the "Hillbilly Elegy" author needed to come up with a method of appealing to the MAGA base fast, and his popularity is still inconsistent even post-election. Nicki Swift's photo editor might have just the fix: a Trumpian makeover.

If Donald Trump's power lies in his hair and not his lies, all JD Vance needs is some poorly-applied bleach and a lot of hairspray to win the hearts and minds of the MAGA faithful once and for all. As you can see, Vance's rumored eyeliner also pops even more with a blond bouffant. The result of transforming him into Trump's hair twin is a bit unsettling, but it's not quite as trippy as Trump with Vance's eyeliner.

We already know that Donald Trump Jr. likes the idea of his dad's underlings trying to emulate "The Celebrity Apprentice" star appearance-wise. On X, Ron Filipowski shared a screengrab of an image from Donald Jr.'s Truth Social account that imagined what Robert F. Kennedy Jr. would look like with Trump hair. The meme was captioned, "Make America Healthy Again," so apparently Vance would also be doing his body good by dousing his mane with peroxide.

However, if Vance really wants to look like a guy you can trust to sell you NFT trading cards, Bibles, and golden sneakers, he might want to ditch the beard. "Trump is a clean-shaven guy. He just doesn't like facial hair," an insider told The Bulwark. But with blond hair and no beard, Donald might mistake Vance for his very tall son, Barron Trump, having a reverse growth spurt.