Sad Details About Hallmark Star Nikki DeLoach's Career

Long before Nikki DeLoach became one of Hallmark's buzziest actors, the star of the "Curious Caterer" series was a curious kid. However, some residents of the tiny Georgia town where she grew up didn't consider her thirst for knowledge a positive trait. "I was the kid that got in trouble every single week in Sunday school because I asked a lot of questions," she told The Retaility.

Instead of being encouraged to express herself by sharing her thoughts and ideas, DeLoach was taught that her utmost concern should be her appearance. "I was told every day of my life, 'It's better to be seen and not heard.' ... You are not allowed to say, 'I feel uncomfortable with that,'" she revealed on Christy Carlson Romano's "Vulnerable" podcast. This may explain why she couldn't get out of participating in beauty pageants. She was a tomboy by nature, but her grandmother and mother pushed her into competing in the events. "To like, be judged on my beauty felt really horrible," she said on the "Feel the Good" podcast.

One bright spot of DeLoach's pageant days was her discovery that she excelled at the talent portion of the competitions. But while she loved dancing on stage, she acquired her skills for a sad reason. "As idyllic as my childhood was, I also went through some really tough things, and dancing was my way of moving trauma or moving hurt or pain out of my body," she said on the "1000 Hours Outside" podcast. As her interest in entertaining others took her to "The All-New Mickey Mouse Club" and beyond, she'd find herself enduring more hardship.

Nikki DeLoach was living the child star dream in the '90s. On "The All-New Mickey Mouse Club," she worked alongside future A-listers such as Ryan Gosling, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and Justin Timberlake. But while she loved being on the show, she had to work extra hard to keep up with her uber-talented peers. Her efforts paid off when she scored a solo performance for the first time. Unfortunately, a parent complained and the solo was given to their kid instead. "As a 13-year-old, it was such a deep, creative wound," DeLoach told The Retaility.

From the start, DeLoach's parents treated her stint on the show like a career she couldn't fail at, not something fun. "I got a checkbook at 12 years old. When I got on the show. I paid all my bills. I paid you know, rent, I paid utilities," she recalled on "Feel the Good." Unfortunately, at age 15, DeLoach lost the source of income she needed to keep pursuing her passion. On the "Judging Meghan" podcast, she said of the series' cancellation, "It was, oh my gosh, devastating."

The pressure to find more work was on, and the financial stress DeLoach experienced at such a young age took a toll on her. "The trauma and kind of PTSD around that I had to untangle for many years," she told "Feel the Good." While DeLoach found herself struggling to keep her career afloat, she had to watch some of her fellow former Mouseketeers experience insane levels of success. On "Judging Meghan," she recalled asking herself, "Did God forget about me? ... Why am I having to constantly fight for my meals?"

Before Nikki DeLoach met her husband Ryan Goodell, she dated a different '90s boy bander: *NSYNC member J.C. Chasez. Seeing what a blast her boyfriend was having with his vocal ensemble inspired her to join a band called Innosense. Britney Spears was an original member of the girl group but left it early on. DeLoach would have been much better off had she done the same. "Cut to: six years later, I'm broke. I have two years left on a record contract and the guy who signed us is in prison," she recalled to The Retaility. That guy was Ponzi scheme perpetrator Lou Pearlman.

DeLoach admitted that her attorney had strongly advised her against signing her horrendous contract with Pearlman, which kept her from working in the entertainment business for over two years after Innosense disbanded. On "Judging Meghan," she revealed that joining the group is now one of her biggest career regrets. "It literally destroyed so much of life," she said.

DeLoach drained her bank account battling Pearlman in court. "I had not a dime to my name," she told The Retaility. To make matters worse, Pearlman had become paranoid about the investigations into his financial crimes that were transpiring at the time. He hired ex-cops to trail DeLoach and Goodell, whom he also used to manage. "It became a really scary situation," DeLoach said. "My car was broken into by some of his [people]... crazy stuff happened."

On the Peacock comedy series "Girls5eva," Busy Philipps plays Summer, a former girl group member who is married to an ex-boy bander. But when the show was casting and Nikki DeLoach learned these details about the character, she had a good reason to believe she'd be a shoe-in for the role. "It was literally legit my story," DeLoach said  on "Judging Meghan." She wanted the role so badly that she put a lot of thought and effort into creating a slickly produced audition tape, complete with a voiceover. She also made sure to mention that she used to be in a girl group. The tape was a hit and earned her a callback, but it just wasn't meant to be. "That was actually another real heartbreak for me," she shared.

DeLoach admitted that being denied a role she had such a personal connection to also left her outraged. However, she ultimately realized that it was the show's writers and producers, not her, who were the real losers in the situation. "Think about the wealth of stories that they could have pulled from me of just what I had gone through in the industry," she pointed out. So, she possibly missed out on a writing credit as well.

Nikki DeLoach has learned some hard lessons while working in the entertainment industry. She told The Retaility that one of them is that the most capable performer won't always get the job — a pill that's really tough to swallow for someone whose self-worth is deeply affected by rejection and whether she's staying booked and busy. "Some days you wake up, and you're like, 'I don't know if I have it in me to be told 'no' again for the thousandth time,'" she told Esquire. And when an entertainer hears too many of those "nos" in succession, this can lead to a career drought. DeLoach explained to Media from the Heart that the entertainment biz rewards success and shuns those who don't have it. "So, you're constantly grasping for that next thing that's going to keep you relevant," she said.

The pursuit of success turned DeLoach into a bit of a workaholic. "My career was my everything. ... It was an obsession — almost an unhealthy obsession," she told Los Angeles Confidential. But when DeLoach experienced some earth-shattering personal tragedies — her father's death and her son Bennett being diagnosed with heart defects — her perspective shifted. Now, she finds fulfillment not only in the personal connections that matter most but in giving back through her philanthropic work for organizations such as Children's Hospital Los Angeles and the Alzheimer's Association. "When I take my last breath in this world, I want to know that I gave it all," DeLoach said. "I want to know that I tried to leave the world a better place."