We Finally Know Why Hoda Kotb & Her Ex-Fiancé Joel Schiffman Split
Hoda Kotb and Joel Schiffman looked like one of those couples that would ride off into the sunset — until they didn't. After nearly a decade together and two kids, they pulled the plug before ever getting to say "I do." But if you're expecting some juicy scandal behind their split, don't hold your breath.
The "Today" host had long believed that Schiffman was the man she'd grow old with. Sure, it took six years to get a ring on her finger, but marriage was always on the agenda. And when he finally popped the question, she was over the moon. "I actually didn't know I could love him more, but I did, in that moment. And I've felt different ever since," she once gushed in a "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" appearance. They were supposed to have a low-key beach wedding in August 2020, but due to the pandemic, all plans were put on ice. By January 2022, they'd announced they were better off as friends and co-parents than future spouses. Kotb even cleared the air on "Today," saying, "It's not like something happened ... They say sometimes relationships are meant to be there for a reason, for a season, or for a lifetime, and I feel like ours was meant to be there for a season."
It wasn't until two years after their split that Kotb shared a little more insight about their parting of ways. Turns out, the real reason they called it quits was simply a case of life taking them in different directions.
Hoda and Joel had varying priorities
Even though Hoda Kotb and Joel Schiffman called off their engagement, Kotb still holds her ex-fiancé in the highest regard. She continues to think the world of him — it's just that their life goals veered off in different directions, leading to their split.
"Joel is one of the best people I know, and he really is a great human being," Kotb dished in a "The Jamie Kern Lima Show" episode. "And I feel like I'm a pretty great human being, but sometimes two great human beings together isn't quite enough to make it work." She went on to explain that their growth didn't align, making it tough for them to see eye to eye. "When people are growing at different paces, it's hard to be in sync," she explained. "One person wants it this way, and one person wants it that way." Still, Kotb has zero regrets about their almost-decade together, especially since Schiffman helped her adopt their daughters, Haley Joy and Hope Catherine. "It's because of Joel that I have Haley and Hope, without question," she told People. "I think I might have been too afraid to do it alone. That's not something I love to admit, but it's true."
And now, they're able to create a co-parenting setup, and it's working out rather swimmingly. "He'll have a Saturday, and I'll do the Sunday. We switch each week. He'll take the girls and do some fun things, and I'll take some quiet time," she shared. "It's a healthy mix, and the kids love it. He's a great dad."
Hoda says she's back in the dating game
Even though Hoda Kotb found herself single in her fifties, she didn't lose a wink of sleep worrying about her dating prospects. With a rock-solid sense of self, she's confident that the right person will eventually come along. "I've had past loves, and I feel like I'll have future loves," she said in her People interview. "Once you know who you are all the way, then love can come in. You know how people say the older you get, the more you know who you are? I think someone who meets me now will meet me for real."
But don't think Kotb's letting just anyone waltz into her life. These days, she's playing it smart, refusing to bend over backward to please someone else. On "The Drew Barrymore Show," she revealed that while she's having a blast in the dating world, she's not about to settle. "I've gotten to a point where if the date's not formulating, and it's OK, I'll say, 'Oh my God, this was so much fun — you're a really nice guy.' I don't mind being myself and being confident and knowing what I want," she said, noting that she has since learned how to draw the line. "I'm not twisting myself in a pretzel to make everybody feel good all the time because I've done that for most of my life, and it was exhausting." We're totally here for this single Hoda era!