Inside Theo James' Private Marriage To Ruth Kearney

Though Theo James is married to Ruth Kearney and has been in a relationship with her for nearly a decade before tying the knot, not much is known about their marriage. "The White Lotus" actor prefers to keep it as far from the spotlight as possible. If you pay attention to rumors, you're more likely to think James is in a relationship with Shailene Woodley. Their onscreen chemistry in the "Divergent" series was indeed strong.

But, no, James and Woodley have never dated, and he was already with Kearney when the co-stars met in 2013. James isn't on social media, which is an attempt to keep the details of what happens offscreen to himself. "I don't think I'd want to share those elements of my private life," he told Flaunt in 2015. He intends to keep it that way, sharing he has no plans to ever get on any platforms. "I just like being present," he said.

James' avoidance of social media and reluctance to answer personal questions in interviews have done little to protect him from speculation, though. After snagging the "Divergent" role, reports claiming he and Kearney had broken up because of Woodley surfaced in 2014, then again in 2015. The following year, the rumor mill was claiming he and Kearney were actually set to wed, which he denied. "I was never engaged," he told ET in 2016. Whether he ever formally proposed is unclear, but he probably got married and definitely had babies in secret.

Theo James and Ruth Kearney are said to have exchanged wedding vows in 2018, though the details — and the actual day — are a bit murky. The story of how they met is more straightforward. They were both drama students at the Bristol Young Vic Theatre School and got to know each other while pretending to be animals.

Amphibians, to be more exact. "Being frogs. We did all that animal s**t," he told the Evening Standard in 2020. The relationship blossomed, with James falling for Kearney's strong personality. "She's very sanguine, thoughtful and funny," he said. "It made sense pretty early on." Regardless of their marital status, James and Kearney share two children. Keeping true to their style, they kept the pregnancy to themselves — and presumably their loved ones. 

In August 2021, the couple welcomed a daughter, E! News reported citing an unnamed source. They were more successful in keeping the birth of their second child a secret until James divulged it on his own terms several months later. "We have a 4-month-old. We're in the thick of it," he said at the Emmys in January 2024 (via Us Weekly), suggesting his son was born around September 2023. But they haven't disclosed any information regarding their children, including their names.

Ruth Kearney, a talented actor in her own right, doesn't share Theo James' aversion to social media. But while she is on Instagram, the British native shares little about her nuclear family. When she posts pictures of their getaways, she sometimes includes James — often from the back — while their daughter rarely appears, though she has appeared with her back to the camera. Kearney even gave a big hint that she was expecting their No. 2.

In a series of snippets from a family trip to Palm Springs she posted to Instagram in April 2023, the "Flaked" actor included one that conspicuously showed her midsection bulging under a yellow dress. Followers were quick to take notice. "You're glowing with the cute baby bump!" one user commented. And while James is protective of his life with his wife and children, he has been more forthcoming regarding how both roles — husband and father — have helped shape him. 

In the Evening Standard interview, James discussed the strength his relationship with Kearney has gained through these years in the spotlight. "We have really navigated through the very beginnings of a career to lots of different percolations of it," he said. Becoming a parent was similarly life-changing, but the changes that followed the birth of his daughter were invaluable. "It's discombobulating at first ... but ultimately it makes you — definitely for me, at least — a much more solid person," he told InStyle in 2022.