Obama's Letter To His Supposed Ex Once Caused A Big Stir About His Sexuality

Barack Obama is used to being the subject of gossip and conjecture. The most famous unsubstantiated rumor of all is the Obama birthplace conspiracy, which, despite being debunked multiple times, persists to this day within some circles. Still, the rumor mill went into overdrive in August 2023 when a letter, purported to be from Obama to his ex-girlfriend, surfaced, seeming to cast doubt on his sexuality.

The letter's existence was first revealed in David Garrow's 2017 biography, "Rising Star: The Making of Barack Obama." The author claimed he'd obtained copies of Obama's love letters from three former girlfriends. One of the exes was Alex McNear, whom Obama met in 1982 while studying at Occidental College in Los Angeles, California. "When Alex showed me the letters from Barack, she redacted one paragraph in one of them and just said, 'It's about homosexuality,'" Garrow claimed in an interview with Tablet Mag in August 2023.

The contents of the redacted paragraph remained a mystery until the New York Post obtained the original letter 10 days later. In it, Obama supposedly wrote of his fantasy of "mak[ing] love to men daily but in the imagination." The letter's authenticity was not established, but that didn't stop the speculation about Obama's sexuality.

When the New York Post published what is claimed to be a 40-plus-year-old letter that Barack Obama wrote to his ex-girlfriend Alex McNear, it caused a big stir about his sexuality. "In regard to homosexuality, I must say that I believe this is an attempt to remove oneself from the present, a refusal perhaps to perpetuate the endless farce of earthly life. You see, I make love to men daily, but in the imagination," Obama purportedly wrote in November 1982. The former president apparently claimed his "mind is androgynous" but accepted he had "been made a man, and physically in life, I choose to accept that contingency."

As some reports have noted, McNear is a writer and editor who worked for Playboy and numerous authors, including the famed travel writer Paul Theroux and South African novelist Nadine Gordimer. She married Bob Bozic, a retired Serbian boxer, in 1987 but has since divorced.

David Maraniss wrote about Obama and McNear's relationship in his biography, "Barack Obama: The Story." He claimed she "enchanted him when she was editing the literary magazine, 'Feast'" and that they engaged in a long-distance relationship after graduating from college. Maraniss claimed the couple communicated through "a series of passionate letters."

Barack Obama had his share of girlfriends before Michelle Obama. David Maraniss wrote in his biography, "Barack Obama: The Story," that after breaking things off with Alex McNear, Barack moved on to Genevieve Cook. She was an Australian teacher who "shared his love of writing and sense of outsiderness." Maraniss claimed that Cook was Barack's first real love. However, Sheila Miyoshi Jager is believed to be his greatest love, aside from Michelle.

In his book "Dreams from My Father," Barack described their romance as "hidden and warm. Your own language. Your own customs. That's how it was." David Garrow wrote in his biography "Rising Star," as published by The New York Times, that the couple's relationship was tumultuous and passionate. A former neighbor of the couple recounts one particularly heated fight where "they were back and forth, having sex, screaming yelling, having sex, screaming yelling.... That whole afternoon, they went back and forth between having sex and fighting."

Barack put his bachelor days firmly behind him when he set eyes on his future wife in 1988. However, it nearly wasn't to be, as Michelle wasn't impressed by Barack when they first met. "I was his adviser, you know, my job was to greet him on the first day at a law firm," she told Gayle King in July 2019, admitting he rubbed her up the wrong way by arriving late. Barack managed to work his charm, though, and they tied the knot in October 1992.