Strange Things About Danny DeVito And Rhea Perlman's Relationship

Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman were the perfect Hollywood couple — until they weren't. The "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" star and the "Barbie" actor split in 2017, saddening fans who had grown up admiring their union. When they separated, DeVito and Perlman had been married for 35 years and together for nearly 50, longer than many TV and film fans had been alive. DeVito and Perlman paired up before either one had their big breaks on "Taxi" and "Cheers," respectively.

While it certainly looked like they had the perfect relationship, their marriage had enough strange aspects to go around. But, all in all, they were able to make things work, going on to become relationship goals even after deciding to go their separate ways. Their shared love for their family is largely responsible for that. DeVito and Perlman have three children together, having first became parents in March 1983, when they welcomed Lucy. They expanded the brood in March 1985 with the birth of Grace, and once again in October 1987, when Jacob completed the family.

While Perlman went on to earn a record number of Golden Globe nominations and win four Emmys, she always put her family first. "'Cheers' might have been everything in the beginning of my career, but family is everything, everything," she told People in 2022. It really sounds like Perlman and DeVito were a great team during their marriage, and even after it ended. Still, there were certainly a few eyebrow-raising aspects of their relationship. 

The end of Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman's marriage wasn't straightforward. While they split for good in March 2017, that was actually not the first time they had broken up. Perlman and DeVito went their separate ways for the first time in October 2012, but it didn't last long — and they didn't even call it a split. "Rhea and I are really close. Actually, still together, just separate, but together," DeVito told Extra the following December. DeVito went on to suggest the breakup was temporary. "We're working on it," he added.

According to some, he was the one working hard to fix it. "Danny has been moving heaven and earth to win Rhea back," an insider told Radar in March 2013. For the years that preceded the split, DeVito had been busy with "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," which he joined in 2006, and inadvertently neglected his marriage. "Danny kind of took Rhea for granted for a few years and their marriage went stale because of that," the insider detailed. "They rarely did anything together and he was distracted with filming."

DeVito sought to change that by indulging Perlman with her favorite activities and taking her out to eat in fancy eateries. It wasn't in vain. By that time, they were already back together. "They love each other," a friend of Perlman and DeVito's told People. "Always have and always will." DeVito's efforts worked — at least for a few years.

While the Radar insider chalked up the 2012 split to Danny DeVito's preoccupations with work, other sources are less sure that was the actual reason. A crew member who worked on the 1992 film "Hoffa" accused DeVito of openly having an affair with a young movie extra. "I felt bad for Rhea, and I felt bad for the girl, too, because she was just a naïve kid from Pittsburgh," the source told Radar in October 2012. 

"It was sad to see her pretending to really like him when really it was just because of who he was. And worse, Danny preying on vulnerable young girls like that," the insider added. DeVito believed claims made by an unnamed source didn't merit a response. "No name, no comment," his rep told the outlet. But the source wasn't the first or only one to accuse DeVito of using his power to seduce aspiring actors.

Just days before the bombshell claims, another insider told Radar that Perlman had broken up with DeVito because of his excessive flirting. "Because of his powerful status in Hollywood, he's not ashamed to abuse his position and chat-up young, aspiring women looking to make it in the industry," the source said. Perlman reportedly eventually felt enough was enough. "Rhea finally snapped," the source added. None of these rumors were ever confirmed.

Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito may not be a couple anymore, but that doesn't mean they'll be signing divorce papers anytime soon — or ever. Perlman and DeVito have no plans to divorce, even if they don't exactly plan to stay married, either. "I'm not getting divorced. That's not in the picture," Perlman said on "Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen" in 2019. "What for?" Perlman and DeVito, who are in their mid and late '70s, respectively, seemingly have no intentions of tying the knot again, which makes their post-split agreement easier.

Perlman felt the same even in the early days of their split. "We agree on enough things, so why [ruin] that with the yucky things that come with a divorce?" she told The New York Post in March 2018. Despite going their separate ways, Perlman and DeVito remain very much a part of each other lives. "We are still very good friends and we see each other a lot," she said on Julia Louis-Dreyfus' "Wiser Than Me" podcast in 2023.

The cohesive life they created together is part of the reason. "Our family is still the most important thing to both of us," she told Louis-Dreyfus. But beyond that, Perlman and DeVito genuinely enjoy being in each other's company. They always have, and that's partly because they share the same type of humor. "We're each others' best audience," Perlman said in a 1996 interview, according to The New York Post.

Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito may have ended their marriage in stages, but the beginning of their relationship was the opposite. DeVito and Perlman's paths first crossed in January 1971, when he starred in the off-Broadway play "The Shrinking Bride." Perlman, then 22, was in the audience to support a friend. But her friend quickly slipped to the back of Perlman's mind. She couldn't take her eyes off DeVito, being particularly entranced by his delivery of the unstable stable boy's song.

"It was like a mating call," Perlman once said, per The New York Post. "I knew I had to meet him if he wasn't married." She quickly did her research and found out DeVito was indeed single and available. So they met and agreed to go to dinner after the play. "I came on to him big time!" she said in the 2018 New York Post interview. Perlman's first impression of him was validated — DeVito was like no man she had ever been with. "He was a lot more fun and a lot more sexy," she told People in 1983.

That was all Perlman needed to know about DeVito. She was ready to start a life with him. "Two weeks later, we were living together, much to my parents' dismay," she said. But she shared none of her parents' concerns. "I thought I hit the big time," she told the Post. "It was always my goal to live in Manhattan."

Rhea Perlman knows that walking away from her marriage to Danny DeVito happened for good reason, and she has no regrets. But she can't help but feel a pang of nostalgia every now and again. "Sometimes I wish we were still together because those were the glory days," Perlman said in the 2022 People interview. After being paired up for close to five decades, Perlman had to learn to be on her own, which hasn't been easy. "I don't like living alone," she said on the "Wiser Than Me" podcast. "I like being alone. I like having time to myself."

But when that becomes her everyday, Perlman struggles. She's not entirely alone, as she shares her home with her dog. "My partner in life," she laughed. While it's not what she had pictured, Perlman knows she's living a new chapter of her life, one filled with just as much good fortune. "These are other kinds of glory days," she told People. Besides, what she and DeVito have now is also pretty great.

Perlman knows the aftermath of their split is not at all the rule for most breakups and divorces. "I'm really, really glad that Danny and I were able to navigate some rough days to be able to have this different kind of relationship," she said. Against all odds, they continue to preserve what they built together. "We're still separated, but ... we're still a family," she said.