Scandal Alert: Why We Think Kate Middleton's Hospital Stay Is A Total Lie

The media went into overdrive after Kensington Palace made the surprise announcement that Catherine, Princess of Wales had undergone "planned abdominal surgery" in a London clinic. "The surgery was successful and it is expected that she will remain in hospital for ten to fourteen days, before returning home to continue her recovery," a January 17 statement read. "Based on the current medical advice, she is unlikely to return to public duties until after Easter."

A skeptic could be forgiven for thinking Kate's hospitalization comes at a very convenient time. The royal family is majorly struggling, with popularity ratings at an all-time low. A survey by the National Center for Global Research, or NatCen (via The Guardian) shows only 3 in 10 Brits believe the monarchy is "very important," with 45% of respondents believing it should be abolished, is not at all necessary, or not very important. Not to mention Kate's less-than-stellar work ethic that has placed her and William, Prince of Wales' reputation on the line.

According to the official Court Circular, she conducted a lackluster 123 engagements during 2023, compared to William's aunt, Anne, Princess Royal's 457. So, it's unlikely anybody will even notice Kate's absence from civic life. Either way, a medical emergency is always guaranteed to garner sympathy from the good, old British public and change the tide of negative press — for the foreseeable future, at least. Still, the official narrative surrounding Kate's hospital stay smells fishy, to say the least.

The week of January 15 brought a royal family medical twofer, with the announcement of Catherine, Princess of Wales' "abdominal surgery" and the news of her father-in-law King Charles III's impending hospitalization. A statement by Buckingham Palace (via BBC) revealed Charles is scheduled to undergo a "corrective procedure" to treat an enlarged prostate.

Two of the highest-ranking members of the royal family are both facing health scares at the very same time. Sure, of course, coincidences do happen, but rarely in the carefully manicured and tightly controlled world of The Firm. Something is rotten in the state of Westminster. The double announcements were obviously totally game-planned, especially given the fact Charles' hospitalization isn't due until the week of January 22, so it's not as if they were both emergencies that had to be addressed right here and now.

Suddenly, all of the British press is laser-focused on the royals' health worries. But specifically, everybody is concerned about poor Kate and the sympathy well is overflowing. Charles' prostate has become secondary, totally overshadowed by Kate's abdomen. And we can't help but think that's precisely how Buckingham Palace wants it to be. Because with citizens and the media focused on Kate, they won't be questioning how serious Charles' medical condition might be and wondering how precarious his royal reign is. If Charles' treatment is solely for an enlarged prostate and the condition is benign, why would the announcement come on the exact same day as Kate's?

Move along now! Nothing to see! Just Catherine, Princess of Wales recovering from "planned abdominal surgery." Oh, and King Charles III getting some minor prostate thing done...all very routine. Move along now! Nothing to see! Hmmm. really? We're not going to go all Diana, Princess of Wales and Dodi Al-Fayed murdered by MI-5 conspiracy theory here, but something doesn't sit right with this tale of two medical woes.

When Charles took to the throne following his mother, Queen Elizabeth II's death in February 2023, it was a decidedly lackluster affair. As The Guardian notes, it felt far from the dawn of "a new era" and more like the same ol' same old. The public is becoming increasingly "over" all the pageantry and pompous privilege that accompanies royalty (not to mention the ludicrous bill the tax payers are forced to foot, all while a cost of living crisis continues unabashed).

Charles was 73 when his reign began — an age when many others hope to retire, not start their dream job. It's crystal clear that Charles has never been a fan favorite. In fact, given The Firm's ever-declining popularity ratings, there's a strong argument to be made that the royals' whole future rests in the balance. The notion of nobility already feels like it's dying out; the last thing that's needed is to feel like the literal embodiment is, too. So yeah, bring on the smokescreen. Bring on the Kate Middleton hospital stay lies.