Why Oprah Winfrey Rarely Goes Out With Stedman Graham In Public

With close to four decades as a couple under their belts, Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham's relationship is nothing short of an anomaly in Hollywood. However, even with all their years together, these two aren't big on public appearances as a couple. As it turns out, though, that might just be their secret to success. 

Though they've been together since 1986, Winfrey and Graham have always eschewed the traditional relationship playbook. Case in point: Though they got engaged in 1992, they never actually married. In 2020, the TV legend explained in an Oprah Daily article that although she and Graham knew they wanted to be together, she wasn't wired for a traditional marriage. Even so, early on in their relationship, they weren't opposed to doing things like attending events together. So, what changed? That would be Winfrey's approach to being a public figure.

What's given Winfrey and Graham staying power, especially while other celeb couples crumble, is their knack for keeping the press at arm's length—unlike many of their high-profile peers. And no, that's not referring to giving interviews. As the saying goes, a picture tells a thousand words — and Winfrey isn't willing to let anyone else write her story. 

Once upon a time, Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham attended a ton of events together. However, as Winfrey told Gwyneth Paltrow in an episode of "The Goop Podcast," she realized that even the tiniest expression — or a facial movement between expressions, for that matter — could be used as a basis for tabloid fodder. "Every time there's a new photograph, there's a new story," she explained. And, while she may have known that whatever the newspapers were reporting about her was not true, it just wasn't worth the emotional turmoil and pressure put on her relationship. And just like that, Graham's appearances became scant. 

As for the impact the public appearance embargo had on their relationship, all signs point to it being for the best. After all, both Winfrey and Graham have talked in the past about the importance of maintaining their independence in the relationship. Speaking to Ellen DeGeneres back in 2019, Graham explained, "When you have a good partner that's able to self-actualize their potential, and you're able to self-actualize yours, then, you know, one and one equals about six." It's the same sentiment Winfrey has frequently shared. "Our relationship works because he created an identity beyond being 'Oprah's man,'" she wrote for Oprah Daily.

Nearly 40 years down — who can argue with that?

It's worth noting that while Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham are rarely seen out in public together, there have been some exceptions over the years. Notably, Graham was Winfrey's date to the 2018 Golden Globes, when she won the Cecil B. DeMille Award. Graham even cracked a sweet mention in her speech. A few months later, he accompanied his longtime love to the opening of Tyler Perry's studio lot.

However, arguably, a few of the best glimpses into their relationship came during the pandemic. In addition to revealing that Graham had been sent to live in their guesthouse to quarantine, Winfrey shared a few posts to Instagram of their new normal alongside some of the girls from her Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy who'd been staying with them. In one video, she and the girls playfully called him out over stealing an entire banana bread loaf (unsurprising, given one of the few tidbits Winfrey has shared about their relationship is that Graham loves her cooking). Winfrey joked in another post about their new penchant for building puzzles together. 

The key difference is that Winfrey controlled what was being put out. The media queen is determined to share her relationship on her own terms — and given her and Graham's track record as a couple, we'd say she's onto something.