The Kardashians Has Officially Entered Its Flop Era With Snoozefest Season 3
"I've never seen this much drama in my life," Scott Disick vows in the official "The Kardashians" Season 3 trailer, which is enough alone to signal that viewers are in for a tedious time. In fact, after watching the trailer, it's safe to say that the latest installment will be a godsend to insomniacs as "The Kardashians" Season 3, which returns to the small screen May 25, will be a whopping dose of Nyquil.
Hulu teases that the Kar-Jenners "navigate motherhood" while "building their own empires" this season. So basically, more uninspiring, contrived scenes and shameless self-promo. We're already nodding off — pass the PJs, hot cocoa, and sleep mask.
"Everyone has their truth about how something happened," the wise sage Kim Kardashian announces at the start of the new trailer. Apparently, the Kar-Jenners are big on speaking "their truth," which is ironic, given the lack of actual truth that's ever been uttered on the show. Meanwhile, Khloé Kardashian says she wishes she could promise there'll be no theatricals this season, but she just can't. We don't sense that's the truth either, because rather than nail-biting drama, it looks more like "The Kardashians" has officially entered its flop era with snoozefest Season 3.
Fake promises do not a drama make
"THEIR LEGACY" fills the screen in big silver caps during "The Kardashians" Season 3 trailer. Chill your boots, Hulu, it's the Kardashians you're talking about, not Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Ironically, the few fans the family still has left are starting to lose their grip and flee as their legacy becomes totally unexciting. We never thought we would miss the days of "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" when the sisters would brawl and get bikini trims on camera.
The mind-numbing humdrum of "The Kardashians" Season 2 was already a snore and a chore to watch. It promised drama but delivered Kris Jenner's hip operation, which was about as interesting as watching paint dry and underwhelming as the "Entourage" finale. If viewers took a shot of 818 Tequila whenever a Kar-Jenner brand was mentioned last season, then at least they'd have been too wasted to be bored senseless.
As for Season 3? Their legacy is evident in Khloé Kardashian pretending to dance at what looks like the lamest school dance ever and Kim Kardashian being recorded recording her podcast. A glimmer of hope for the season appears in the trailer when Kim screeches, "You think I need your permission!?" Perhaps that's the drama Scott Disick was referring to. No, more likely, it'll involve a failed SKIMS Instagram post or a petty text fight that'll be resolved within an episode. We'll pass.
The KarJenners won't actually share their truth
When Kim Kardashian decrees in the new "The Kardashians" trailer, "Let's talk about it!" there are zero expectations anything of interest will be shared. Season 2's snoozer proved that; there was scarce coverage of Kim's PR stunt relationship with Pete Davidson, and Kris Jenner's hip replacement was deemed more interesting than Khloé Kardashian's secret surrogacy.
So, don't bet a cent on anything gripping actually being aired during Season 3. "It all comes back to protecting my peace," Kendall Jenner declares while speaking her truth in the trailer. So, clearly there'll be no discussion of her on-off relationship with Devin Booker. "We have huge influence; what are we doing with our power?" Kylie Jenner contemplates. Such a good question, Kylie; what are you doing? How about discussing the Astroworld tragedy that resulted in multiple fatalities and hundreds of injuries? Or addressing the many controversies swirling around Kylie Cosmetics recently? Nah, just take some selfies instead.
What will the Kardashians "talk about" in Season 3? Absolutely zilch that's of any consequence, just as usual. "The Kardashians" has become the "Seinfeld" of reality TV — a show about nothing. Except instead of being hilarious, it's total yawnfest that jumped the shark years ago. We'll stream when the Kar-Jenners return to divulging the real drama.