How Tila Tequila Left TV And Became A Troll-Queen

If Tila Tequila had any grace, she's certainly fallen from it. As the daughter of Vietnamese immigrants, the reality-TV star became one of the most-followed people on MySpace and rose to mainstream fame in the late aughts after landing her own MTV reality show, A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila. The crux of the controversial Bachelor-like program was that Tequila was bisexual and contestants were both male and female.

With 1.5 million MySpace followers, a book deal and profiles in Time magazine and The New York Times, the reality star born Tila Nguyen had a promising future. So, what happened?

Not long after A Shot at Love aired, Tequila's life went on a downward spiral that was plagued with mental illness, substance abuse, tragedy, and more than a few bizarre, anti-Semitic rants. Now, the troubled social media star's online accounts are either suspended or read like the diary of a deranged Nazi conspiracy theorist. She traded in her Hollywood friends for alt-right leaders and is bracing herself for the end of the world. 

From porn awards to Hitler salutes, this is what happened to Tila Tequila, and how she became the troll queen of the internet.

Tila Tequila's career wasn't in the toilet yet when she performed at the Gathering of the Juggalos in 2010. The only problem was that concert goers didn't get the memo. Though organizers of the festival reportedly warned the Shot at Love star that it would be dangerous to perform, she took the stage anyway to play rap songs from her upcoming album. The end result was terrifying.

Concert goers started pelting the singer with rocks, bottles and human feces. She eventually took off her shirt, which festival organizers believe was "mock[ing] and antagonizing the crowd." She later tweeted (via CNN),"If your face was drippin' in blood, and your shirt was smeared in human feces and p**s, umm I'm pretty sure you would take ur dam top off too!"

Tequila was eventually pulled off the stage by security then chased by a mob of hundreds of Juggalos. She made it to her trailer, but the mob smashed the trailer's windows and tried to flip the structure over while she was still inside. She escaped in her sports utility vehicle, which also had its windows smashed.

According to the Tequila, she had to get stitches on her face after the incident, and her body was covered in bruises.  

"The only dumb thing I admit to doing, was actually showing the Juggalos LOVE. Which they know nothing about," she tweeted (via CNN).

This was one of the last times Tequila would ever take the stage.

In December 2009, Tila Tequila finally had her shot at love with Johnson and Johnson heiress Casey Johnson. According to People, The couple got engaged after a whirlwind, month-long romance (and a gigantic, 17-carat diamond ring), but things took a tragic turn less than a year later. By the time the couple was ready to ring in the new year, Johnson was found dead in her Los Angeles-area home.

Much like Tequila, the late heiress had a reputation for hard-partying and recreational drug use, which reportedly stemmed at least partially from her suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. The New York Post reported that, at the time of her death, she had been cut off from her trust fund and family after refusing to get help. Her official cause of death was untreated diabetes, and she had been sent to the hospital "at least twice" because she didn't take her insulin.

The former reality star admitted that she became suicidal after the sudden death of her fiance, who's daughter she planned to adopt.

"It really hit me when I found all the cards she had written me," she told People. "My therapist put me on suicide watch. I've been getting help but I'm fine now. I know Casey wants me to be alive and she hates seeing me like this. She always hated it when she would see me cry."

Just a few months after her fiance's tragic death, Tila Tequila was stuck in a downward spiral plagued by mental illness. Things came to a head when she posted a now-deleted video on her website showing her bloody arm which had supposedly been slit at the wrist. Following the incident, Tequila blamed Dissociative Identity Order (aka Multiple Personality Disorder).

In a statement posted to her official website, the former reality star claimed she blacked out and woke up from "excruciating pain" with "blood and dope everywhere." All her new furniture was broken and there was glass all over her bed.

"There's even chunks of meet [sic] coming out of my arm from the deep slits from her slicing up my arm from all the broken glass," she wrote (via Digital Spy). "My arm meet [sic] from inside is starting to bubble up and seep through the cuts. This is so f***ed up."

This wasn't the first time Tequila struggled with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Earlier in March of that same year, the reality star claimed her alter ego she calls "Jane" — who she believes "always wants to kill her" – hijacked her Twitter account.

Around the time of her fiance's death, the troubled star announced that she planned to become her brother's surrogate. This news came after pregnancy rumors emerged on the Internet (whether or not she started those rumors in the first place is up for debate).

In a now-deleted tweet, the star wrote, "BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: I am going to become a SURROGATE MOTHER for my brother & his Wife!!! That is my xmas present to them. I'm pregnant!!!!"

About a month later (and no baby bump in sight), Tequila took to Twitter to hint at the fact that she had a miscarriage. In an over 20-post rant, she claimed she was experiencing "intense sharp pains" and that she would kill herself if something bad happened to the baby.

Moments later, the former reality star announced that she was approved to adopt a toddler from Russia and was planning to visit the country for 21 days to spend time with him. Tequila never visited Russia and the surrogacy was never mentioned again.

In 2012, Tila Tequila finally hit rock bottom when she suffered from an accidental overdose and brain aneurysm. According to a report in Us Weekly, her roommate came in around 1:30 a.m. and found the former reality star unconscious. After emergency responders arrived, her roommate told law enforcement that Tequila had "tried to kill herself all week."

The incident was a harrowing experience for the MySpace star, who admitted that she thought she was going to die.

"I can remember feeling like the bones were popping out the side of my head [because] the pain was so bad. I took some medications and tried to go for a nap, but when I woke up I was vomiting," she told Us Weekly.

This was a turning point. Tequila checked into a rehab program at Palms Partners Treatment Center in Florida. After finishing the program, which included group and personal counselling sessions, the troubled star emerged with a new rosy outlook.

"I should have died and feel blessed to have another chance at life and I intend to grasp it," she said. "I got excellent treatment and I did a total detox of all substances and medications. This was really tough but I managed to do it."

In 2007, Tila Tequila got a shot at love with her MTV reality series, but in November 2014, she got a shot at motherhood. The former reality star delivered her first daughter Isabella Monroe Nguyen, and debuted the very first photos of the tiny tot on her website.

Tequila didn't distinctly reveal who the father was, but a report from Radar Online claimed it was struggling musician Thomas Paxton Whitaker, who was 42 years old at the time. Whitaker was already a father-of-three who allegedly filed for Chapter 7 Bankruptcy in 2007 after owing over $6,000.

Despite Tequila's struggles with substance abuse, mental illness and the sudden death of her fiance, the reality star admitted to Us Weekly that motherhood "saved [her] life."

"It has been quite a painful journey for me, and I never thought I was going to make it out alive. So to be able to do a total 180 and finally be blessed with my first child gets me so emotional that I can barely even handle it," she said. "The only difference is that now these tears I cry are of joy, and no longer of sadness."

In 2018, the star announced she was expecting her second child.

But despite the joy she found as a mom, Tila Tequila wasn't done shocking the world. Not by a long shot.

In 2010, Tila Tequila announced that she would be appearing on Celebrity Rehab, but it never panned out. She did finally make it back onto the small screen five years later, with the 2015 season of the UK's  Celebrity Big Brother. But her time on the show would be short-lived after the network discovered that the then-33-year-old star was enamored with a new, controversial guy: Adolf Hitler.

After being cast in the series, U.K. non-profit Campaign Against Antisemitism uncovered a concerning 2013 blog post where Tequila called Hitler a "good man" and a "man of compassion." She also posed in a "sexy Nazi" uniform and posted the picture to Facebook, which got her banned from the social network for 30 days. Campaign Against Antisemitism launched a Change.org petition, which managed to get Tequila booted from the series despite having only about 800 signatures.

Producers removed Tequila as soon as they were made aware of her disparaging comments. She later issued an apology on Twitter claiming she "made a terrible mistake" and that her comments were "irresponsible, reckless and selfish."  

"I want to be a good role model for my daughter because I don't want her to go through what I had to endure," she wrote. "I hope that I will be given a second chance at life to make things right again."

Not long after, she posted a tribute to the dictator, describing him as her "my boo Hitler."

I'ts never a good idea to post a photo of yourself giving a Nazi salute with your alleged neo-Nazi friends, but Tila Tequila doesn't care. The self-proclaimed "alt-reich queen" made headlines in November 2016 after posting a picture to Twitter from a conference for the white nationalist, alt-right group, the National Policy Institute. She captioned the snapshot "Seig heil!" (of course, misspelling sieg).

Though Tequila has expressed anti-Semitic views in the past, attending a white nationalist conference was notably bizarre considering the star is Asian American and was born in Singapore. She claimed that's the reason she was welcomed into the movement, which generally rejects the idea of non-white immigration to Western countries.

"I bring a little bit more diversity to the movement," she told The Daily Beast.

Tequila, who fervently supports Donald Trump and allegedly admitted that she was a "white supremacist," was suspended from Twitter shortly after posting the snap. Later, in an interview with The Tab, she claimed it wasn't a big deal.

"I'm obviously not white and I think it's so funny to get a rise out of people who are so easily triggered by things like that. I like to be a bit more fun," the troll queen said. "And a lot of people are missing out on that point. We're actually preserving the freedom to be able to speak online and do these things, that's important."

As it turns out, Hitler wasn't always the Tila Tequila's "boo." Believe it or not, at one point, the actress said she planned to convert to Judaism. According to TMZ, the Shot at Love star was taking classes at a synagogue in New York in 2012 before she suffered from the aforementioned brain aneurysm that sent her to rehab. Her plan to convert was spurred when she started learning more and more about Kabbalah, its culture and "the way of life of the reform on Judaism."

"I just feel like the Jewish people have such a beautiful way about them, and I can't wait to officially be Jewish," she told TMZ.  "Shabbat Shalom."

But that was then. The star has since ditched her deep respect for Jewish culture in favor of dressing up her baby as Hitler. In 2015, the MTV star posted a photo on Instagram showing her newborn daughter wearing a Hitler mustache. She wrote "Gasps!!! Isabella!!!!! What the holy??? One day when you grow up, you're going to have to apologize for this picture, young lady!!!"

Most of us forget that before Tila Tequila was wildly conservative, she was an actual porn star. In 2011, Vivid released the reality star-turned-porn actress' first tape titled Tila Tequila Uncorked! Three years later she followed up with a sequel, which sent her right to the "Oscars of porn." The actress took home the AVN award for Best Celebrity Sex Tape joining the ranks of Octomom and Paris Hilton — but something awkward happened during the awards ceremony.

According to TMZ, Farrah Abraham, a fellow MTV reality star who rose to fame on Sixteen and Pregnant, accidentally stood up when the winner was called. The former teen mom was nominated for her own Celebrity Sex Tape, which starred famed porn actor James Deen.

Tequila told TMZ she'd be happy to give the award to Abraham instead because she's much more focused on being a good mom than a good porn star — talk about shade.

Tila Tequila's descent into madness hasn't stopped in recent years, barring a brief reprieve when she had her first child. In 2017, the former reality star went on one of her patented online rants yet again. But this time it was really weird — because Tequila seemed to believe she was God. Just another thing to add to her extensive resume next to "porn star," "Hitler fan," and "disgraced reality show dropout."

In a video posted to YouTube (and later deleted but captioned by The Houston Chronicle), the ex-porn star claimed to have signed a contract that made her God, but she didn't read the fine print because she's "lazy like that" and the "supernatural wording and things like that" confused her. Nonetheless, the contract gave her the power to do pretty much anything including abolish taxes and debt or spark World War III. Of course, the latter is what she choose to use her alleged supernatural powers on.

"I'm having a great time grabbing my popcorn and watching the whole grand finale thing go down," she said adding, "You guys have to live inside whatever it is I create. Whether I want World War III to happen or not. I do, so it will happen."

She ended the video claiming "We're gonna be alt-right. Everything's going to be alt-right." At least she has a sense of humor when she's using her powers to start the largest nuclear war the world has faced. Cool.

Tila Tequila has a lot of wonky beliefs — from truly believing "the end is upon us" to suggesting Hillary Clinton is a clone. Of course the former porn star believes the Earth is flat.

In one of her patented Twitter rants (captured by The Observer), Tequila asserted the idea that the Earth must be flat because she can't clearly see the "curvature in the horizon."

"Why are all the buildings in NYC standing straight up? If earth was round then some of the buildings would have a slight tilt. #FlatEarth," she wrote.

She went on to allege that airplanes couldn't land without crashing if the Earth was curved and that NASA was using CGI to create fake pictures of the globe. It took an unexpected turn when the troll queen began claiming that the CIA put a microchip in her brain in 2012 (the same year she had an aneurysm) and that her right arm melted because the government was "blasting" her with "frequencies." She then switched her story and claimed that she actually died in 2012 and was replaced with a clone that was microchipped. The chip was activated in 2013 and again in 2015.

At least the girl is on-brand at all times.

Tila Tequila hit some hard financial times in 2016, which makes total sense if we're supposed to believe her baby daddy (and possible husband) is a struggling musician. The former reality star hasn't appeared on TV since she was kicked off of Celebrity Big Brother and stopped performing around the time she was assaulted at the Gathering of the Juggalos. It's pretty likely that she only relies on revenue from her memoir, porn films, and music, which were all released years ago. To help her get back on her feet, the MTV reality star launched a now-deleted GoFundMe to help raise $10,000, so she could pay her rent.

According to Hollywood Life, the bizarre campaign alleged yet again that she was killed in 2012 and replaced with a clone. She also claimed that she feared for her baby's life and was "tired of shopping at Wal-mart." She hoped to "upgrade to Target where all the rich, nice, white people shop" because she'd feel "really safe there." She also claimed that the money would help her buy warm winter clothes for her kid, put hot food on the table and allow her to give up Mountain Dew because it causes "brain damage" (they weren't kidding about that Yellow 5!).

The page was taken down, then reuploaded with a less bizarre, less racist-tinged message. It's unclear whether or not she met her goal, but not long after, Tequila launched a now-defunct Etsy shop to sell her paintings.

Tila Tequila has isolated herself from the porn industry, where she found great success after releasing her second film. The former porn star showed no sympathy when the industry lost one of their own in early 2018.

Oliva Nova had only been in the industry for a month when she mysteriously died. According to reports, she was naked from the waist down and dead for 12 hours before she was found. Nova mentioned being ill on her Facebook page but was afraid to go to the doctor despite her symptoms. Police found prescriptions to treat kidney and urinary tract infections in her apartment, leading the coroner to believe that she had a severe infection that turned into a fatal case of sepsis.

Instead of mourning the loss of her peer, Tequila the troll queen took to Facebook to wish death upon the entire adult entertainment industry (at least according to Hollywood Life who saw her Facebook post before it was deleted). She then claimed to have "prayed that these porn stars will all fall extremely ill" before seeing the news that Nova had passed away.

"Whoa! God listens to me and gives me whatever I ask for in Jesus' name," she wrote.

It's unclear if Tequila still believed her God contract was valid at that point in time.

For Tila Tequila, International Women's Day only includes those who were born biological women, and she isn't afraid to slam anyone who disagrees. The troubled reality star, who's become the true troll queen of the internet, went on another bizarre Facebook rant in March of 2018. This time, she attacked transgender vlogger Nikita Dragun, who posted a before and after photo of her transition to celebrate International Women's Day.

Her wildly transphobic rant claimed Dragun was one of the many "abominations being spread across the nation and causing men to sin." She then claimed transgender women were tricking all the men that lust after women and like their "filthy, slutty, picture online."

"God says you will fall into your own traps so you're most likely lusting after some MEN too and you don't even realize it! Hahahahahaaa!" she wrote.

Dragun thought about hitting back, but then decided that if she "cared about being liked and accepted" she'd be broke. Dragun has remained very open about her transition while vlogging to her over one million subscribers.