Why The Bold And The Beautiful's Annika Noelle Wanted To Speak Out About Her Heartbreaking Miscarriages

Actress Annika Noelle joined the cast of "The Bold and the Beautiful" in 2018, portraying Hope Logan in her first major daytime role. In the time since she joined the show, her character has had several dramatic storylines. Not only did she reinvigorate the love triangle between herself, Steffy Forrester (Jacqueline MacInnes Wood), and Liam Spencer (Scott Clifton) – a battle that she ultimately won – but she also experienced a tumultuous relationship with Thomas Forrester (Matthew Atkinson), who became dangerously obsessed with her (via Soaps in Depth).

However, one of the most heartbreaking stories that Noelle was compelled to portray was the loss of Hope's baby. She and her husband, Liam, were thrilled to be expanding their family and were busy preparing for the little one's arrival. However, when Hope went into labor in Catalina, she didn't know that Dr. Reese Buckingham (Wayne Brady) had a nefarious plan in place. After delivering the infant, Reese took the baby away so he could adopt it out for cash to pay off his gambling debts, telling Hope that her daughter had died. Viewers then watched as Hope and Liam went through the intense grief of losing their child.

At the time of filming the baby Beth storyline, Annika Noelle had not personally experienced what her character was going through, but she was determined to play the part with grace and honesty. In an essay she wrote for Glamour, the actress said, "I was grateful for the artistic challenge and threw myself into the story with everything I had, researching placental abruption, stillbirth, and pregnancy loss. I knew people in my own life who had gone through the trauma of losing a child, and I wanted to do them justice."

Sadly for Noelle, she was unaware that this storyline would soon become intensely personal for her when she experienced her own loss, in what she called "cruel irony." Fortunately for her character, Hope's pain abated nearly a year after giving birth when she learned that her daughter had lived and was being raised by Steffy Forrester, who had unknowingly adopted her. Hope and Liam were immensely relieved and grateful to have their child back; unfortunately, the same couldn't be said for the actress' own tragedy.

After filming the heartbreaking storyline of losing baby Beth, Annika Noelle and her fiance were overjoyed to discover they were pregnant with their first child. Devastatingly, Noelle lost that baby at ten weeks. Her doctors informed her that the likelihood it would happen again was low, making it all the more heartbreaking when she lost her second pregnancy, as well.

Noelle decided to go public with her painful story in order to help those in similar situations feel less alone. While going through this difficult time in her own life, she suffered in silence, keeping it a secret from everyone "B&B." She said in her essay for Glamour, "Nobody knew. I came up with excuses for why I couldn't wear white pants or felt nauseous on set ... I didn't want people to know and have things not work out. And yet I wish I had because I would have given anything to have the understanding and support of the cast and crew. I felt so alone."

As Noelle began to speak out about her losses, she felt a shift in her perception. "Suddenly, my shame was replaced with power," she wrote. The actress is now using that power to send a message of solidarity and strength to others. "At a time when women can be criminally charged for pregnancy loss, are losing autonomy over their own body, and the United States ranks last overall among industrialized countries in maternal mortality, our voices need to be heard. I hope we can continue to give ourselves permission to share these experiences so that, one by one, our voices can grow from a murmur into a resounding chorus."

Though dramatic soaps are often a source of escapism for viewers, the shows and the actors themselves often use their storylines to bring attention to important and relatable experiences. The story of losing baby Beth on "The Bold and the Beautiful" will always have significant meaning for Annika Noelle and for viewers who know her story.