Jennifer Garner's Painful Divorce Revelations
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner broke the hearts of millions of fans in 2015 when they announced they were divorcing after 10 years of marriage. The divorce has taken an especially tough toll on Garner, who has since spoken candidly about her life as a single celebrity. Here are her most painful confessions.
Nannygate had nothing to do with her divorce
Shortly after Affleck and Garner split, rumors swirled that Affleck had allegedly gotten involved with the couple's former nanny, Christine Ouzounian. But despite the scandalous reports, Garner revealed to Vanity Fair in February 2015 that Ouzounian—whom Garner allegedly fired after Affleck took Ouzounian to Las Vegas with Tom Brady—had nothing to do with their split. "We had been separated for months before I ever heard about the nanny," Garner confirmed. "She had nothing to do with our decision to divorce. She was not a part of the equation." Still, the reports left Garner in an awkward situation: how to explain the allegations to her three kids. "It's not great for your kids for [a nanny] to disappear from their lives," Garner said. "'I have had to have conversations [with my children] about the meaning of 'scandal.'"
Though Ouzounian made not have played a role in the split, Affleck's rumored extra-marital affair with current girlfriend, Saturday Night Live producer Lindsay Shookus, may have prompted Garner to officially pull the plug on their marriage for good.
Ben remains the love of her life
Despite a heartbreaking divorce that's played out before millions of people, Garner still thinks fondly of her ex-husband. In fact, given the chance, she says she'd go back and marry him all over again. "I didn't marry the big fat movie star; I married him," she told Vanity Fair. "I would go back and remake that decision. I ran down the beach to him, and I would again. You can't have these three babies and so much of what we had. He's the love of my life... He's the most brilliant person in any room, the most charismatic, the most generous."
But that doesn't mean he was perfect. In fact, Garner implies that her "complicated" husband had many moments in which he treated her badly. "When his sun shines on you, you feel it," she said. "But when the sun is shining elsewhere, it's cold. He can cast quite a shadow."
She turned to church for help
Anyone who's ever gone through a breakup will tell you that the days, weeks and months afterward can take be tough, leaving the broken-hearted feeling vulnerable and unsure how to cope. For Garner, it was simply returning to what she knew from childhood. "All of a sudden I'm sitting down at the piano," she revealed to Vanity Fair. "I went back to church. I sat down and wrote bad poetry all day because I was so sad." In the meantime, Garner says she's hoping her sad stage will end relatively soon. "I look forward to getting past the pity stage," she admitted. "I look forward to just having a sense of humor."
Garner and Affleck seem to both be relying on religion as a healing tool. On April 17, 2017, four days after officially filing for divorce, they were spotted together at Easter services.
She didn't expect things to end this badly
During Garner's interview with Vanity Fair, the magazine was quick to point out that Garner and Affleck met after they had both just ended high-profile relationships. Affleck had split from his on-again, off-again fiance, Jennifer Lopez, while Garner was fresh off her divorce from actor Scott Foley. Clearly, the odds were stacked against them.
Even so, Garner says divorcing Affleck was "not what [she] imagined when [she] ran down the beach." "But this is where I am," she says. "We still have to help each other get through this. He's still the only person who really knows the truth about things. And I'm still the only person that knows some of his truths."
She doesn't know if she'll date again
After your 10-year marriage ends in divorce, getting back on the horse is probably the last thing you want to think about. Such is true for Garner, who says she's on the fence about the possibility of finding a new partner. "I don't know. It's just that [from] everyone that I know that is dating it just seems, well...Men don't call anymore," she told Vanity Fair. "I want flowers; I don't want to text. What does that make me? What kind of dinosaur am I?"
That hasn't stopped men from trying to snatch her up. While speaking to Vanity Fair, Garner recalled a time when a guy tried to pick her up at the airport. "He said, 'Could I take you for a cup of coffee?'" she recalled, admitting she was "floored" by the proposition. "And I was like, 'No! You may not take me for a cup of coffee, sir.' And then I said, 'But thanks for asking.'"
Also in the interview, Garner admitted while discussing a love scene for an upcoming movie that she hadn't been kissed for more than eight months.
She won't dance with Ben at her daughter's wedding
One of the saddest admissions in Garner's emotionally jam-packed interview with Vanity Fair came when she admitted that she had "lost the dream of dancing with my husband at my daughter's wedding." That's a painful realization, for sure; however, Garner went on to say that the three kids she had with Affleck may be the one thing that keeps them on friendly terms. "You should see their faces when he walks through the door," she said. "And if you see your kids love someone so purely and wholly, then you're going to be friends with that person."
Her eyes were 'wide open' during her marriage
Late in the cover story, Vanity Fair brings up a joke that Ricky Gervais made at the 2016 Golden Globe Awards, in which he referred to Matt Damon as the only person to whom Affleck hasn't been unfaithful to. Garner's response seemed to confirm age-old tabloid reports that, yes, Affleck had a wandering eye. "People have pain—they do regrettable things, they feel shame, and shame equals pain," Garner said, admitting he "laughed" at the joke. "No one needs to hate him for me... Don't worry—my eyes were wide open during the marriage. I'm taking good care of myself." To which we say: damn.
She admits she's 'completely failed' at marriage twice
Both Garner and Affleck have admitted that marriage is hard work. Still, the fact that she's now twice-divorced has shaken her up, especially since she considers herself a "pretty hard worker."
"It's one of the pains in my life that something I believe in so strongly I've completely failed at twice," she confessed to Vanity Fair. When asked when she stopped working to keep her marriage alive, she said, "You have to have two people to dance a marriage."
For now, Garner looks to time to heal all wounds. "My heart's a little on the tender side right now, and it's always easier to focus on the ways that you feel hurt," she said. "But I know that, with time and some perspective, I'll have a clearer sense of where I let the system down, because there's no way I get off in this."
The divorce filing said a lot
Garner and Affleck's divorce filing in itself was as amicable as it gets. TMZ reported that their filing was pro per, meaning no lawyers were involved. Their paperwork was identical: They each sought joint legal and physical custody of their children, and neither listed an official date of separation (despite announcing their separation in June 2015). That's key: It means that because there's no prenup, it can determine how big of a settlement there may be between them. Seeing as Affleck was the major breadwinner, it could affect Garner's potential payday. The pro per filing also means that it will be handled outside of court, which will preserve the couple's privacy.
She's not thrilled with all the media attention she's getting
On May 31, 2017, People ran a cover story titled "Jennifer Garner: Life After Heartbreak," which detailed how she's not dating again just yet but is focused on the future and the wellbeing of her children. That's all fairly innocuous stuff, but Garner was still pretty livid about the story being published at all.
The Alias star took to Facebook to slam the article, writing, "It has been brought to my attention that there is a People magazine cover and article out today that appear to be coming from me. It isn't unusual for me to receive calls from loved ones thinking I forgot to tell them I am pregnant–with twins!—(Geez Louise), but those are so ridiculous they're easy to ignore. This isn't a tragedy by any measure, but it does affect me and my family and so, before my mom's garden club lights up her phone, I wanted to set the record straight: I did not pose for this cover. I did not participate in or authorize this article. While we are here, for what it's worth: I have three wonderful kids and my family is complete."
She's focused on co-parenting
In August 2016, Garner told Today that she and Affleck are more concerned with co-parenting their kids (Violet, 11, Seraphina, 8, and Samuel, 5) than they are with anything else in the split and its aftermath.
"We are definitely a modern family," she said, explaining that they still spend time together as a unit. "Ben was working in London on Justice League (2017) and I felt like, 'Well, the kids should have that experience.' He and I are great friends and we just all went en masse. The kids and I had an amazing time, and he worked hard and got to join us for some. I want them to see everything's OK... It has to be [amicable]. You don't have a choice. It has to be. We're doing really well."
She told Today Parents that through it all, she's trying to set the best possible example for their kids. "I don't think empathy is something you can drill in someone's head," she said. "You have to have faith that while your kids can seem to be selfish and concerned only about the word 'mine' sometimes, overall, they are watching you really carefully, and if you care about other people, they will too. I try to be the best version of myself and to have faith that they're watching me as carefully when I do something right as they do when I roll through a stop sign."