The Real Reason Amy Schumer And Ben Hanisch Broke Up

After a year and a half of dating, Amy Schumer and Ben Hanisch called it quits on their romance. A rep for the Snatched (2017) star told Us Weekly, "Amy and Ben have ended their relationship after thoughtful consideration and remain friends." Neither party has commented on the split, but Hanisch's brother, Tim, told Page Six that the Chicago-based furniture designer is "doing fine" since the breakup and that "everybody's friendly." Yeah, but, c'mon. What really went wrong?

Schumer, 35, and Hanisch, 30, may have ended their relationship because it was simply too much too soon. On their one-year anniversary in November 2016, the furniture designer wrote on Instagram, "A year ago I met the love of my life. We both weren't looking for a relationship at the time, but something felt right from the very first night we met. We ended up spending 6 days in a row together. This pic was taken in New Orleans and was the night I knew I wanted to spend my life with her." A bit much for a first date, no?

What's more, on May 1, 2017, Schumer revealed that she and Hanisch had actually been living together for more than a year — which means they moved in together around just the six-month mark of their relationship.

So far, we know about Schumer and Hanisch's bowel movements (and how hers were like a "machine gun" when they both had food poisoning). We know they have sex often, and that he's gotten sleepy during the act at least once. That's already too much. Considering Hanisch seems more conservative with what he shared about their relationship (he declined to comment on the split and usually just gets sappy or silly, not vulgar), maybe this was a sticking point for these two.

Schumer admitted to People in August 2016 that she's cautious in romance, and that Hanisch wasn't an exception. "I want to be [as] hopeful in love and commitment as possible," she said, "[but] I come from parents who have each been married three times."

She told Howard Stern the same month (via E! Online), "I know logically that he's not [going to hurt me]. It's not who he is. But I do have moments where I get afraid, and it's all my own stuff. He's the most gentle [guy]. He only wants to take care of me. But yeah, I'll get some sort of little bit of a flashback and kind of freak out. That's happened just once with us, but it's really upsetting to me that it's still part of my DNA."

She also noted to Marie Claire in July 2016, "Being in love is the scariest thing in the world. You want to f**king cry and scream. I can't handle it. Every time we say goodbye, I think, 'This will have been a nice last week together.' Or I tell myself nothing is real and he's going to leave me and tell me he never loved me. I feel so bad for him. How exhausting it must be dating me."

While Schumer often appears to have a thick skin with her public proclamations, she sometimes comes across as insecure about herself. For example, her constant slamming of body shamers and blasting Glamour for including her on the cover of an issue celebrating all body sizes (including plus) eventually hints that the lady doth protest too much. When she and Hanisch first began dating, a source inadvertently hinted that she may be a bit emotionally high maintenance, telling People, "Amy is so, so happy. [Hanisch] constantly tells her how pretty, sexy and perfect she is. She feels like she hit the jackpot." If he couldn't constantly fill her well of compliments, it may have taken a toll on her overall confidence, leading the relationship to suffer.

Schumer's standup career frequently takes her away from Hanisch, and it's tough for both of them to say goodbye to one another when she's on the road. Schumer currently has three different movies in pre-production and is still doing promotional rounds for Snatched (2017), which fizzled so far at the box office — so her schedule may simply be too packed to make her relationship with Hanisch a priority right now.

Schumer can't seem to decide (or perhaps remember) what the truth is about her past dating life. She told Marie Claire in July 2016, "I feel like Ben is the first guy who's really been my boyfriend. There are guys who, if they heard me say that, would want to punch me in the face, but yeah, it's the truth."

However, Schumer previously publicly dated fellow comedian Anthony Jeselnik before she eclipsed his fame. She also detailed several other romances in her book, The Girl With The Lower Back Tattoo (via Radar Online), including a brief relationship with professional wrestler Dolph Ziggler and hookups with an unnamed NHL player, an unnamed NFL player, and a rock star. She explained in the tome, "It's just that I would personally like to have more sex in my life, and what guy in his right mind would get down with me if he knew he and his penis might end up in my next book?"

She also admitted to People in January 2016, "I've never been dating anyone that the public's really known about. But I like that everyone thinks I've been single my whole life. They're like, 'She got her first boyfriend!' and I'm like, 'No, I've dated people over the years.'"

In August 2016, Schumer told Howard Stern (via E! News) that marriage and kids weren't on the table with Hanisch for a while. "We've talked about that we don't want to talk about it for two years," she said. "It's just like ... then you have to take care of them, the kids. I don't even have a plant! I can't. I'm not going to water that."

However, she may have changed her mind. Before the split in early May 2017, Schumer openly expressed a desire to marry Hanisch, even in just in the common law sense. "Well, I never had marriage or children as a goal, but I have an interest in making a commitment and saying I am going to stick with you, and I am not going to have sex with anybody else ever again," she told News.Com.Au. "I am going to be someone who will witness your life and I am going to be your partner."

Also in early May 2017, she told E! News that she was considering having kids. "It changes for me sometimes," she said. "I'm like, 'That would be amazing and I definitely want that' and then other times, I'm like, 'I don't know' and then there are so many options — there's adoption, there's your own." If her and Hanisch's visions of the future didn't line up, it may have been best for them to cut their losses and move on.