What Is Jon Gosselin Really Up To Now?

In just about the time it takes Kate Gosselin to lose her temper, Jon Gosselin went from being a lovable reality TV dad to an Ed Hardy-clad creeper who hits on 21-year-olds at the bar. After the couple's marriage hit the skids in front of a national TV audience, Jon became a tabloid regular. You couldn't buy groceries without seeing stories about him partying at clubs and having affairs with everyone from the nanny to the kids' teachers. But that was in 2009, and Jon has cleaned up his act—or so he would have us believe. Here's what the father of eight is up to now.

After a co-worker leaked a photo of him in the kitchen of a T.G.I. Friday's, Gosselin found himself internet famous once again. He told ET that he only worked there because cooking "is a passion of mine," and that he donated most of the money he made there to charity, but that didn't stop the tabloid audience from relishing in what seemed like yet another rock bottom moment for the disgraced reality star. Fortunately, Gosselin took it all in stride, telling ET, "Today I'm a headline, tomorrow someone else screws up in Hollywood, and I'm off the front page. ... But I didn't screw up this time, I'm just working."

In addition to cranking out endless loaded potato skins, Gosselin is also realizing another lifelong passion: DJing. That's right, Gosselin spins mad beats in the clubs, at corporate events, or for any other special occasion on your calendar. Which means there's a very real possibility that he'll be kicking the jams at his kids' proms. It's a nightmare scenario for any teen when their parent even wants to chaperone a dance, let alone has a microphone and all the power in the world to accidentally humiliate them in front of the whole school. Think we're exaggerating?

LIVE on #Periscope: Jon Gosselin house of F*cking pain!!! https://t.co/pf7V6P95vk

— Jon Gosselin (@jgosselin10) August 5, 2016

Gosselin clearly has not proven that he can handle that kind of power. If anything, he's done the exact opposite, which means he would absolutely put on "Cupid Shuffle," then join the dance floor while the kids behind him die laughing and Mady and Cara consider moving to a remote island.

During an interview segment on Steve Harvey, Jon dropped a few revealing bombs about what really went on during his divorce from Kate, and the dismal status of his visitation with the kids. "I haven't seen all of my kids together in about three years," he lamented. "I haven't seen my son in a year and a half." Wow. Jon still lives close to Kate, has a place of his own, and has held down jobs ever since their split, but he still only gets the kids "one night a week for dinner, and every other weekend."

As for their divorce, Jon claims he was railroaded by TLC after breaching his contract, and says the network paid for all of Kate's legal fees while he was left publicly voiceless even as he was being destroyed by the tabloid media. So now that Jon's not in danger of being sued by a giant TV network, he has no problem letting everyone know how ice cold and calculating he feels Kate was throughout the divorce, as well as the details of their seemingly lopsided custody of the children.

Gosselin has dated Colleen Conrad, a registered nurse, since late 2014. And if you're thinking "Wait, wasn't Kate a nurse before they became famous?" Congratulations, you love awful television. Yes, Kate was a nurse, so Jon definitely has a type, but that doesn't mean that he's going to be rushing down the aisle again anytime soon. He told ET, "I don't think there is a point in being married," which is exactly the kind of thing a person wants to hear come out of their significant other after two years. In Jon's defense, his first attempt at wedlock ended badly, to put it as politely as possible, but you don't swear off pizza based on that one time you made a poor decision at 4AM and got one from that weird rotating glass case at the gas station. If Jon and Colleen ever do make it official, hopefully they can go the distance. Plus, there's the added bonus of being able to save money by hiring Jon to DJ the reception.

DJ Jon Gosselin doesn't roll into high-profile gigs without some serious muscle. That's right, Jon told Yahoo! Celebrity that he has security now to deal with "douchebags," who try to "start s—" with him, which is an amazing scenario to envision. We're not sure if it's more depressing to be the guy protecting a fallen TLC star or the guy getting the crap kicked out of him for harassing Jon Gosselin. The only person who wins in that situation is Jon, who now makes actual statements like, "'Hey, buddy, have a nice life.' It happened a few weeks ago. They picked him up so quick it would make your head spin." Sounds like someone hasn't let life on the celebrity Z-list go to his head at all.

In addition to his DJing duties, Jon Gosselin also serves as VP of sales for Embodied Agency, which basically means he's a booking agent for other DJs. He told Yahoo! Celebrity that he "plans to film and produce a music-related docuseries" centering on the business. He will limit his role to "the production and hosting sides," because he no longer wants to be the star of the show. Also, his kids won't be featured in any way. What it sounds like he's proposing is a show built on his name recognition, only he's removed every likable element of his previous on-air persona and replaced that with a guy scheduling weddings and bar mitzvahs and maybe some behind-the-scenes drama like one of his emcees forgetting his iPod or dropping a disco ball in the Holiday Inn parking lot. Call us shallow, but that doesn't sound nearly as interesting as watching him get screamed at by Kate in a grocery store because he picked out the wrong paper towels.